Harnessing the Power of Pleasure
Harnessing Pleasure for Better Sex
Ready for the best news you’ve heard all day? To live a fulfilling, healthy life, you NEED pleasure Pleasure is an essential part of the way we connect to the world. To lose touch with it means to lose touch with our systems, our stories, our relationships, and our sex.
So why is it so challenging for so many of us to find?
The first thing to realize is that pleasure is not an act, It’s a way of experiencing the world. It’s not something you can chase outside of yourself - it lies within. You just have to learn how to connect with that part of yourself, to BE in your place of pleasure.
Here are a couple of ways to get started…
Romanticize each moment.
Each moment we have the choice to turn towards pleasure and our senses or turn away from pleasure. Notice what you’re seeing, feeling, smelling, touching, thinking. Where can pleasure be found in this moment?
This added awareness enhances each kiss, each touch, each sensation - making good sex great and great sex legendary. Hell, even using this approach in everyday life can even make the most boring of tasks seem sexy. (Picture the monotony of washing dishes replaced by the soothing, pleasurably painful heat of the water. Gorgeous!)
Don’t be afraid to be of pain.
We give validity to things through our senses (another reason so many of us have the misconception that access to our pleasure lies outside of us!). This can make opening ourselves up enough to experience pleasure a pretty scary experience.
As a society, we’re pretty terrified of experiencing pain - which is kind of ironic, as the brain circuits that fire when we experience pleasure are the same ones that fire when we experience pain.
To open ourselves to more pleasure, we must embrace that fear and accept the risk of pain - and perhaps re-frame the way we think about it. After all, there’s pleasure in pain. Take a deep tissue massage, for example. It can be painful as the masseuse digs deeply into muscles that are tight and contracted however once they are released there can be a lot of pleasure in expansion of movement and feeling of relaxation.
There are many places in our daily lives and sex lives that we hold tightly out of fear or habit. Once they have been released it can be surprising just how good our bodies can feel.
Explore yourself, inside and out.
Identify the parts of yourself - sensations, erogenous zones, experiences, even parts of your personality - that bring you the most pleasure. Then, practice engaging those parts of yourself by directing your sensual energy and mental attention to them.
This practice accomplishes two things.
By acknowledging this sensual energy and our agency over it, we charge its frequency. This helps us feel sexier, happier, and more fulfilled - drawing sexier, happier, and more fulfilled opportunities and people to us.
This practice teaches our body the difference between sensation and pleasure, as well as how to work with both. This knowledge and skill is essential for experiencing incredible orgasms, so think of this as practice!
Pleasure is an enlivening experience. The more aware we are of our agency over pleasure and its presence within us, the more sensual and orgasmic energy that’s available to us. The quality deepens with every experience, with every time we make the conscious choice to be in our pleasure.
You deserve a rocking sex life. You deserve incredible pleasure. So, go within and get it! And if you get a little lost on the way, know I’m always here to help.