Unlocking the Power of the Love Goddess with Maya Kova

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Sensuality and Love Coach Maya Kova.

Maya's journey began as young woman fascinated by love, propelling her on a path to conquer her own relationship anxiety. Her journey and expertise offer a treasure trove of enlightenment that has the potential to revolutionize your experience with love and desire. With her partner, Maya has navigated the challenges of anxiety and attachment, crafting a grounded and secure co-creative partnership built upon self regulation of your nervous system.

Now, Maya draws on these personal experiences along with her professional expertise to share how understanding and harnessing our desires can lead to empowered relationships and a fulfilling sex life. Her story is a testament to the power of self-awareness and growth.
Along the way, we delve into the role of the Love Goddess archetype, the nuances of conscious loving, embodying feminine energy without passivity and the significance of polarity in deepening connections. Throughout our talk, Maya provides  valuable guidance for understanding the intimate language of our sensations, leading to a more connected and conscious way of loving. 
 
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In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.

Deborah [00:00:02]:

And again, you know, it's audio only, and so we're all good there, and I'm going to just jump on in. All right, so welcome to the Better Sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat, and I am your shameless host. This is the Better Sex podcast, where we have unfiltered conversations about sex and relationships and the many possibilities of sex and relationships so that you can figure out what works for you and have better sex on your terms. I truly believe that a sexy world creates a happier and a safer world. And if you want to do your part in helping, helping to create a safer, sexy world, please hit like, subscribe and leave a comment. Today we are going to dive into the world of my guest, Maya Kova. She is a sensuality and love coach based in New York.

Deborah [00:01:16]:

She works both with couples and women, offering support in creating secure love dynamics, in balancing the feminine and masculine polarities and clearing out all the blocks around self expression so that you can have fulfilling desires and get your needs met. So, on that note, I'm going to say, welcome, maya. And a quick note. I know her from the Tantra institute, where we are both facilitating the 90 day relationship experiment and where she is one of the amazing speed date leaders. And I'm just so delighted to have you here. It's been such an honor to get to know you better, and I'd love to know a little bit more about how did you get here?

Maya [00:02:11]:

First of all, thank you so much for having me. I know it probably took us a year to make this happen, so it's a major win. I'm very, very excited to finally be your guest and to dive in into all this delicious, uh, topics. And to answer your question, how did I get here? Um, I honestly. I truly believe that it's my kind of, like, soul's mission, destiny, in a way, to do this work. I was always fascinated and curious about love since I was a little girl. Uh, when I was in a kindergarten, I did not play with kids. I was hanging out with young teachers, and they were talking about their date life, and I was, like, three, four years old.

Maya [00:03:02]:

I don't think I understand anything, but I just could feel that energy, the butterflies, the excitement, you know? And I was just fascinated by that. And definitely relationship always been something deeply desirable for me. And I always knew that, like, even, you know, when I was a teenager, that I'm not so much looking for a white dress, right, or a marriage. I'm looking for truly deep, exciting partnership that, like, work your soul and, you know, like, transform your whole life. So I feel like I have those things in me. But what put me on the path of. Right, like, learning, conscious loving? Because what I do, what you do, right. What we all do in this, right.

Maya [00:03:57]:

In this world, we looking at love not as an emotion, but in a way, lifestyle, right. Philosophy, mindset, embodiment, essence. And that's different than what we see in the movies, right. That's different. What we read in a cosmopolitan magazines. And what put me on this path is that I had a big block when I was a teenager to actually date. Like, I was just afraid. Like, I had a lot of boyfriends.

Maya [00:04:29]:

Like, we were, like, friends with hanging out. But the moment they would, like, give me flowers, so they, like, would, like to kiss me, like, I would freak out. And then when I finally fall in love with somebody and I was 20, I had such anxiety that I literally needed to lay in bed. And I was like, I've never read about this. I've never seen this in the movie what's up? And I was so fortunate to have my mom, who gave me a book, women who love too much. And, like.

Deborah [00:05:08]:

Right.

Maya [00:05:08]:

Like, in a way, it's like almost like initiation on the path, because I read this book when I was 20. Like, what a gift to read this book when you're 20. And it offered me a deeper understanding. Right, like, how our childhood impacts how we experience love. A deeper understanding that it's not about just falling in love. There's so many things at play here, and it put me on this path to figure out, okay, how can I be not anxious in love? How can I be secure? How can I actually be in love the way I would, right, like, I'm imagining the end goal where I'm, like, in secure partnership and I'm this super empowered woman, and today I'm a girl who lays in bed because it's too much for her to go on a date with somebody, right? Like, okay, clearly, like, what steps I need to take on, right, like, on this journey. And that I would say, put me on just, like, exploring, learning, being curious. That then brought me to Tantra, put me in connection with my partner, with guy.

Maya [00:06:28]:

And I call today that our eight year relationship. I call it my PhD in relationship. He is my best teacher. That definitely shape and kind of, like, showed me, in a way, what works in a relationship and what doesn't. And I'm very, very grateful.

Deborah [00:06:52]:

Beautiful. Thank you. Yes. I love that. I mean, I truly believe that, you know, relationship is. It's. It's an opportunity for personal growth, for sure. And, you know, as you so beautifully put it, it's an opportunity to get to know yourself and to get to work, you know, and unwind some of the things that we grow up with so that you can be, as you said, secure and available.

Deborah [00:07:22]:

And tell me a little bit about the work that you do with women around empowerment.

Maya [00:07:33]:

The work that I do. I have several offerings, and they all use this archetype, love goddess, and the meaning that I put in these words. Right. First of all, when we talk about the archaeographic goddess, it's not a nice girl, right? It's not a princess. We're talking about somebody who has their own power. And the beautiful saying, with power comes responsibility. And obviously, love is her power. So love is not something that makes you feel less.

Maya [00:08:19]:

Right or makes you feel powerless or makes you lose yourself in a relationship. Love is actually your power. So that's already a journey when something that maybe intimidated me or something that I don't know how to show up in my power, I am leaning fully into to make this my power. And I support women who feel anxious, who feel disempowered in their relationships, who may be people pleasers and lose themselves. Right. In relationships, I support them to cross that bridge and get on the other side where they feel secure in relationship, no matter what's going on.

Deborah [00:09:06]:

Right.

Maya [00:09:06]:

When I'm not depending on my partner's mood, I'm not depending on my partner's decision solely. I know the power that I have in a relationship and the impact that my behavior, my reactions, my attitude, my desires create in a relationship.

Deborah [00:09:27]:

Right.

Maya [00:09:27]:

It's fully stepping into partnership, knowing that you need to give your 100%, and this 100% is 50% of your co creation.

Deborah [00:09:41]:

So I want to underline that. So you're saying you're giving 100% and that's your 100% is the 50% of the co creation. So the co creation actually ends up being 200%.

Maya [00:09:59]:

Well, yeah. Both people need to give their 100%, right? Absolutely.

Deborah [00:10:06]:

So tell me a little bit more about, you know, I really. So the way that you're using love, the word love, it's like it's both an act of doing and an act of being. And is that accurate?

Maya [00:10:30]:

Yeah. Yeah. Love is a verb, right? I really love. Like how our teacher, we both, me and Deborah, Charles Muir is our tantra teacher. That. Right. She talks about conscious loving. And loving is a verb in this sense, in my opinion, love is experience.

Maya [00:10:53]:

An experience requires us not only to feel, but to act, to participate to answer the impulse, answer the calling.

Deborah [00:11:06]:

Thank you. And speaking of tantra, I'm curious, in the introduction, I talked a little bit about, you talk about the masculine feminine polarity. And I'm curious if you, for those of you, for those who are listening, who are not really familiar, I'd love to hear your take on that.

Maya [00:11:30]:

Yeah. Polarity is a very tantric concept because in tantra we talks about union, whether it's internal union, right? Like my union between my mind, right. My consciousness and my heart, my body, whether it is a union with anybody we connect to. And by union, I mean coming in together to create something, whatever that is, right. Doesn't have to be partnership, doesn't have to be marriage, doesn't even have to be a romantic relationship. I actually think if tantric principles of connection were part of business, that would be a great, great way, would make probably everybody even ten times more abundant. But that's a conversation for another day. So in Tantra, we learning.

Maya [00:12:22]:

We're learning something that's unfortunately, we don't see a lot in our everyday world that leading and following are equally important. And good leader cannot be successful without a good follower. And then the good follower, you cannot become a good follower without also knowing how to lead. It's a really depth of profound understanding of human dynamics and true collaboration. Partnership, openness to find point of connection versus disconnection, right versus mentality. I'm right, you wrong, I'm a victim, you're a narcissist. Right. And the way I see polarity in relationship is men and women or feminine and masculine, right.

Maya [00:13:25]:

In whatever relationship you are, whether it's whatever configuration of modern relationships, they're to exist. And when we're talking about energies, right, masculine feminine energy, they're not attached to the gender. We all have access to them. We all actually need to be, um. We need to master the ability to switch between our masculine feminine energies. And especially in a relationship, right. If at work, you kind of required to stay, let's say, right in your masculine and get stuff done. Um, when it comes to relationship, you can't do that.

Maya [00:14:03]:

You need to change, right? You need to shift, you need to constantly do the dance. And, um, the way I see how we lead in a relationship, women lead, or feminine leads with their desires, and masculine leads with action or implementation or making fast, sharp decisions. And when we talk about leading with desire, it doesn't mean being passive and it doesn't mean I'm just gonna go and take care of everything I want. It's finding that middle ground and actually knowing who you are. Right? What are your values, what's your integrity? And then uncovering a lot of shame, guilt, fear around speaking your desires, whether it's in a bedroom, whether it's where you want to go for dinner, whether it's asking for more time, whether it's setting a boundary, right. It's something that I feel. It's bring me to life. It's deeply aligned.

Maya [00:15:24]:

It gives me energy. Right. It motivates me. It makes me a better person.

Deborah [00:15:29]:

And I just want to be super clear. When you say those things, you're talking about desire, correct?

Maya [00:15:34]:

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Right. I feel like in tantra, we see desire as an impulse. It's not necessarily right, like, only related to intimacy, because I feel like in a, you know, in a non tantra world, when people hear the world desire, the word desire, the first thing you think of is, you know, something, like, sexy or something essential or something. Right. Like, intimacy related and. Right.

Maya [00:16:09]:

My experience with my work and my life is desire is an impulse. And it activates five senses, right, but I. Right. When something feels aligned, I'm almost feeling like somebody's pulling me from my heart, or I'm becoming, like, bigger version of myself, or I'm taking up space, or I'm actually feel myself more alive. So I feel like. Right, like, all this buzzwords, alignment, I don't know, mission, like, we all. Maybe desire, in my opinion, is like a bigger umbrella that covers all that.

Deborah [00:16:57]:

I love that. And I love the idea of, you know, when you're. When you're feeling your desire, like, you gave such a great description of, like, feeling the desire for you makes you feel bigger or more empowered or moves you into action.

Maya [00:17:14]:

Yep. Yeah.

Deborah [00:17:16]:

And just. I mean, this is a little nuanced question, but I'm curious. Talk a little bit about the difference between, say, desire and, like, want or.

Maya [00:17:33]:

Yeah, I think desire. Right. When I talk about desire, I actually use it as a really.

Deborah [00:17:45]:

Right.

Maya [00:17:45]:

Like an impulse, just something that I feel, and I suddenly feel like myself. Energy.

Deborah [00:17:49]:

Right?

Maya [00:17:49]:

Like, my life force, my excitement, something activates me.

Deborah [00:17:53]:

Right.

Maya [00:17:54]:

So to me, desire is an activation, and want is, I think, is our relationship with our desire. And what I mean by that is facing your own permission.

Deborah [00:18:14]:

Right?

Maya [00:18:14]:

Like, do I give myself permission to have it? Because we can say, right, like, oh, I want to leave my job or I want to move. And then five years went by, and you still there, but you say, every day I want. Right. So then it's like, almost like, okay, then what is your relationship with your desire, right? Do you actually give yourself permission to go and pursue it, or then you're getting stuck in your fears, your blocks, your doubts, and kind of like, you need to first deal with that. But the impulse itself, it's there. However, I teach that desire has an inspiration date. So when you feel the impulse, it's almost like you have a certain amount of time to fulfill it. And if the time goes by and you didn't fulfill it, it's, you know, like, it's.

Maya [00:19:15]:

It's like a fire, right? It's. It's beautiful, but it's not going to last forever. Eventually, it's going to turn into ashes. So I feel like the same goes with our desire. If we desiring something and we're not fulfilling it, right. We stay into the state of longing. Uh, when you finally maybe make that happen, right? Like, that anticipation or even satisfaction will burned out, and that's not going to deliver that experience.

Deborah [00:19:56]:

Oh, that's such an interesting concept. I haven't heard you say that before, but I like that. The idea that the desire and the impulse. I mean, what I'm basically hearing is there's a potentness that happens when that desire first comes up.

Maya [00:20:12]:

And.

Deborah [00:20:14]:

If we don't act on it, then, as you said, it burns out. I have noticed if I think about my own desire, things that I really. Things that are really alive, they'll keep coming back. I feel like one of the differences between want and desire is, like, I can want something, but then I don't. You know, it's usually fairly short term, whereas if I. You know, if I have a desire for something, I might not get it on the first. You know, on the first burst of flame, if you will, but it'll keep coming back. You know, it's that thing that's like, you know, if it's.

Deborah [00:20:54]:

If it's a really true desire, at least in my experiences, it doesn't go away. It gets bigger and it gets smaller, like you said, depending on how much I'm willing to give myself space to.

Maya [00:21:10]:

Have it, but, yeah, yeah. And. Right. Like, for me, love was actually a big portal to start. In a way, it opened up everything for me, because I feel right that when I read the book women who love too much, I had to admit to myself that there is something in me that holds me back. And at 20, I didn't have resources or capacity to unpack that, but at least I became aware of that. And when I moved to New York when I was 24, and I experienced that almost instantly where I had big dreams and I had desires and I was afraid. I was afraid to fulfill them.

Maya [00:22:15]:

So I took, you know, more secure path. And, you know, there was many reasons, right? Like, I need to figure out how to survive in New York City. I wanted to be an actress, and that was the main desire why I actually moved to United States in general. But when I came to New York, I was afraid to go for it. So what I did instead, I started taking acting classes. I started doing some theater, but I wanted to do film all the time, right? I started getting a real job. Then I got interested into, you know, getting six bigger job and work at a fancy company, and I didn't let. And.

Maya [00:22:58]:

Right. And then this theme will start coming up more and more and more of, like, I do know and I do hear what I want, and then I not actually pursuing it, right. Like, it's almost like I'm in a shell. Like, I live my life in a shell. I live my life in a shell. And me falling in love with guy, with my partner was that experience that started breaking this shell. And what I mean by that is we met eleven years ago, and I instantly felt, like, this electricity. And he was very honest with me, and he's like, I'm not looking for a relationship.

Maya [00:23:48]:

I'm all about open relationship. Like, I'm not looking to have a girlfriend. And I'm like, no, no, I'm not doing any of this. And, and then, you know, it was my first year in New York. I was, like, 25, 26. I was like, I can't do it. And then five years went by, and we reconnected again. And this was the time where I start.

Maya [00:24:14]:

I left my six figure job. I kind of was answering big questions, what do I want to do with my life? What would actually make me feel fulfilled? I started exploring kundalini yoga. I started learning about embodiment. I started to understand that, oh, I don't have to listen. My voice is in my head all the time. And we reconnected. And I felt. I remember I, like, sat next to him and my mind was like, what are you doing here? This is the most dangerous man of Manhattan.

Maya [00:24:46]:

Get out. The door is there. And rightly at that time, I started noticing, like, what do I feel? What do I feel? And I would feel like, oh, like, this man feels like home. And, like, what? You know, it's like, completely too contrasting experiences. And because, right, I chose to follow what I feel blindly in a way. And there was this deeper understanding of, like, me leaning into something that might feel edgy and scary. And he's very free. People who know him knows, like, he's very free spirited person.

Maya [00:25:30]:

Right. And that freedom was a big trigger, and for my. Right. Anxious attachment tendencies was a huge trigger.

Deborah [00:25:41]:

Right.

Maya [00:25:41]:

To be with somebody who is, like, honestly, like, I'm not looking for anything. Oh, this is all casual. This is all fun, right? And it's like. And there was this deep knowing within me that, like, no, this is a medicine. Like, how else you're gonna overcome fear of following something that feels so true. How else you're gonna overcome fear of not.

Deborah [00:26:08]:

Right.

Maya [00:26:08]:

Like, not have this toxic attachment where you need somebody in order to feel good. Like, how else, like, this is the medicine. And there is. With just deep knowing of, like, okay, I'm going to lean into this relationship, and I'm just going to trust that I'm held by the universe, by my soul, by my heart, to get to the other side. And there was a lot of twists and turns in our relationship. There's a lot of different dynamics. But I, you know, like, I almost instantly knew that he's, in a way, the best teacher for me because I started really learning tantra at that time, and I started becoming more aware about energy, right? And energy is where we put our attention. And I started noticing, if I put my attention that, I don't know, he doesn't like me.

Maya [00:27:07]:

He doesn't show up for me. He doesn't care about me.

Deborah [00:27:10]:

Right?

Maya [00:27:10]:

Like, in, like, turning him into a monster or a narcissist. Right. Our relationship get worse. And if I shift into honoring how I feel about him, right, like, unconditionally loving and appreciating this man, believing that he wants to see me happy, that he wants to show up for me, that he cares about me, our relationship would start blossoming. I start noticing that, oh, my mood or my. Me consciously choosing where to put my attention to and what, cultivating this relationship, there is an instant response in him. And that's why I call this relationship my PhD in relationship, because I learned a lot about what doesn't work in relationship and what actually does work in a relationship. And the best mirror that I could ask for, right.

Maya [00:28:18]:

Because I had to face fears that I had the insecurities that I had, my inner critic, right. The way I think about myself, places where I think, no, you're not good enough. You need to, you know, like, sometimes we all think, like, no, I need to get this, or, I need to live here, I need to make this amount of money. And then I can have a relationship, right? Like, I had to face and confront all of it in order for me to feel good because, right. This dynamic, it was just like an instant opportunity. The moment you go into all those places that keep you. You small, keep you miserable, right. Like, it's just.

Maya [00:29:00]:

It teaches you immediately, okay, don't. Don't do this. Don't think this way. Don't pour your energy into experiences that actually doesn't create what you want.

Deborah [00:29:11]:

Right?

Maya [00:29:11]:

So it's kind of like, it was a great way to. In a way, to, like, start mastering, truly, a mindset. Right. Of a lover.

Deborah [00:29:23]:

Right.

Maya [00:29:23]:

Or a mindset of somebody who creates and somebody who takes responsibility for what it is that I am building in terms of my relationship and for myself personally. And right then, three years ago, we become what they call primary partners. We live together. We truly have a fun, deeply connected partnership through overcoming different experiences, even in.

Deborah [00:29:57]:

Right.

Maya [00:29:57]:

In us coming in together. And when we moved in about a year and a half ago, it triggered mistrust in both of us, and then it was a whole journey to entangle that.

Deborah [00:30:13]:

I just want to pause you for just a second. You said so much good stuff, and I just want to make sure that it gets, you know, underlined. So, you know, one of the first things you said is, like, you had all of these reasons why this wasn't a good person for you, and yet you felt like home. And I know this is a big thing that we talk about in Tantra, especially, you know, in tantra speed date, is this idea of, like, what, you know, people can totally meet our list, but what it really. The important thing is, how do you feel in their presence? And so the first thing is that here are these two different stories. The story of, if you will, your brain is telling you one thing, and yet your body and your nervous system is saying, no, this is actually home. Right? So that's the first thing. And then, you know, there's the piece where you started talking and unwinding all of your own stories.

Deborah [00:31:19]:

Right. I'm not good enough. The, you know, if he does this, it means x, right. And we so do that. So really, you know, so having to kind of really start to work with your own mindset. And then as you were talking, I was really struck by this idea of, you know, turning towards or leaning into the places that, you know, felt like it might have been more comfortable to run. But, you know, and I just want to talk about a little bit about that because, you know, there's. I know that there's a few different things that you need to do as you're leaning into something.

Deborah [00:32:05]:

And I know that you talk a lot about the nervous system and how to calm the nervous system and bring it back into this body here. And I'm wondering if you could talk a little bit about that.

Maya [00:32:22]:

Yeah. I learned that you, first and foremost need to really put attention into are you supporting yourself in every moment where you feel triggered? And what I mean by that, right there might be this idea, like, oh, he did that. He said that he misbehaved, he broke the agreement, whatever that is. And we losing the element of right, of self. How am I supporting myself in this moment? How I can regulate my nervous system, right? How can I self soothe? How can I even hold on to myself without start drowning and then giving old power to our mind that tells us all those worst case scenarios and, you know, five personality patterns. The patterns work was incredible, and I highly recommend it to everyone. Start learning that our fears and our ways to protect ourselves doesn't necessarily mean that this is our true self showing up. So learning and understanding that, oh, every time I shrink or every time where I'm shutting down, that's actually not me, right? This is my survival response.

Maya [00:34:09]:

So how can I hold on to myself, right? To my empowered self, to Maya, goddess Maya, Queen Maya, adult woman versus me coming back to what I learned right, when I was a little girl and when I depended on circumstances and people, right? How can I not lose myself when I'm facing challenging circumstances and I just.

Deborah [00:34:39]:

Oops, sorry. I was just going to say, I want to be clear on what you mean when you say, how can I lose myself when I hear that I'm imagining losing yourself, meaning that you say yes to something that you may not mean or that you, like, give up what is important to you, either, or.

Maya [00:35:04]:

You following voices that somebody tells you, like, I don't know, you're stupid or you, I don't know, you not something. Whether somebody tells you that or your own inner critic tells you that, right? When we denying our truth or when we allowing people or circumstances deny our values, our integrity, our inspirations, our desires, our motivation, like, how often we would have maybe miscommunication with somebody you're dating or maybe even somebody you're living with, right? And they actually never know. They actually never heard where you're coming from, right? Because we might have just different perception and because you don't hear, right. Like, you don't back yourself up, you don't step up for yourself. And let's say they tell you, no, you're wrong, right? The way you live is wrong. And if you don't stand up for yourself, then what? You start believing that something's wrong with you and you need to go and improve yourself, right? And this is what I, this is to me, losing yourself is not backing yourself up, not holding yourself, not showing up for yourself, not standing up for yourself even within yourself with your own right voices, your own inner critic or, I don't know, this version of you that thinks that it protects you for whatever reasons, right? So to me, this is what I mean when I say lose yourself in a relationship and anyone who has anxious attachment, our experience of ourselves and our value attached to bunch of different people, right? Anyone who has anxious attachment, they have a very shallow sense of self. I don't know who I am. I know that I'm good.

Maya [00:37:06]:

If I have a boyfriend, I know that I'm good, that I'm married. I know that I'm good, that I am a mother or whatever, right? So we always relying that having something or having someone else's approval makes us good because I, I don't know if I'm good. So somebody, can you please come and tell me that I'm good? And to live like that very, very hard kind of makes you neurotic because, you know, you're constantly preoccupied. Make sure to get that validation and approval from somebody else and most likely you're going to attract partners who's not going to give it to you that easily. Right? And they doing it not because they narcissist. Like, I honestly, I have little patience hearing how many women label their, you know, boyfriend's partner somebody. They see narcissists and it's like, no, their behaviors when they shut down or maybe they withhold or maybe they become aggressive, doesn't mean that, you know, they clinically narcissists. It's just radio patterns clashing that way.

Maya [00:38:18]:

And they showing you something. And if you take your attention from what's wrong with them and ask yourself, how am I contributing into this dynamic? How me always being nice or always being forgiving, always being quiet or always being whatever actually contributes into this mess and taking that personal responsibility for. Right. Our side of the road. This is the work, and this is the work that I'm very passionate about and this is the work that I do.

Deborah [00:38:53]:

I love that. So in a moment, I'm going to ask you to tell me a little bit more about empowerment and women's empowerment and how you think about that. But first, I'm going to go ahead and let people know how they can support the better sex podcast. Sex is a really complicated subject, and it can make or break a relationship. And unfortunately, most of us don't grow up in an environment where talking about sex is welcome. That's why I'm offering a sexual mastery breakthrough session, a personalized one on one experience so that you can have better sex. Because let's face it, a podcast as great as this one is, is just not enough. You have to have practice.

Deborah [00:39:45]:

And so if you're ready for tools and tips and exercises to learn more, please go to the show notes. Show notes. And book yourself a mastery breakthrough session. Because life's too bad, too short for bad sex. So now, Miss Maya, tell me, when you think about empowerment, like, what does that mean? And what's one small thing that someone can do to start. To start really feeling their empowerment?

Maya [00:40:20]:

Start building a very secure sense of self, which begins from not abandoning yourself and not trusting people's opinion or people bad mood to define who you are, what you're capable for, what can you have? And one of the ways to do it is through embodiment practices. And the gift that I'm offering for everyone who is interested in is tantric breath work. Breath work. You utilize your kegel muscles, your vaginal muscles, and, right, it's. It's an internal muscle, so it creates that deep sensation of like, okay, I'm here, I'm in my body, right? You're kind of actually literally feeling, right, like, everything that's going on below your head. So it helps you get out of your head and feel your body. And through the breath work, you start noticing what are you feeling? You start actually noticing different sensations, different emotions coming up. One woman once told me, like, wow, this is what this presence everybody talks about, this is how it feels like, or, oh, this is how it feels to be calm, or this is how it feels to feel peaceful.

Maya [00:41:51]:

So I, in my opinion, this is a great practice that helps you to find that center within yourself and, like, this island of serenity within yourself to feel more grounded and to start learning, okay, how can I hold on to myself versus shrink or run away or give up on something that's important to me, or even simply right not to put all my attention on everybody else, but keep some attention on me for myself.

Deborah [00:42:33]:

I love that. Thank you. So, basically what you're saying is that when we are able to hold ourselves, keep our attention on ourselves, and I'm going to just add this, be in connection with others and still have our attention on ourselves. Then we get to feel that embodiment. And in feeling embodiment, we get to actually have different experiences of emotions. Like you were talking about being feeling calm and also sensations. And I'm going to just ask you for people who are listening, who are like, well, what do you mean by sensations? What do you mean by sensation?

Maya [00:43:22]:

Yeah.

Deborah [00:43:23]:

Right?

Maya [00:43:23]:

Isn't it so fascinating that we actually ask that question, like, what does it mean sensation in my body? What sensation in my body noticing, oh, I have tension. I have tension, I don't know, in my shoulders, or I have tension in my neck or in my throat. Throat, right. Or like, oh, I have this fiery sensation in my belly. Or I actually feel like a sensation maybe of freeze or cold, right, where it's like, oh, like, this area of my body feels cold or feeling tingling in certain areas. Right. For me, I would usually feel. Right, like, my heart almost, like, expanding.

Maya [00:44:05]:

Right. And it feels like really this, like, almost like a magnet. I have a magnet in my heart that, right. Really helps me sense this is what I should say yes to. And this is what I should say no to. Um.

Deborah [00:44:23]:

Hey, God. So tell me more. You've got a magnet that helps you decide what yes and no is. Say more. Say more about that.

Maya [00:44:35]:

I think it's deeply individual. I truly believe that our soul speaks to us through sensations in our body. And this is invitation for everybody. Go on this journey and learn the language. Your soul speaks to you through your body. For me, when I right. Started to going inward and asking myself all these questions and exploring kundalini yoga, and I reconnected with guy, I literally start feeling. When I read, let's say something like, this is how I actually took kundalini yoga class.

Maya [00:45:17]:

I read about it. I've never done it. And I suddenly felt like somebody's pulling me forward. And I was like, all right, let me do it. Or when somebody makes an invitation or says about something, if I don't feel the sensation that, you know, something pulls me forward, it's either I'm. You're right. Like, feel like, okay, like, kind of neutral. Or sometimes I literally want to just like, be like, no, right? And lean back.

Maya [00:45:44]:

So I noticed that, like, oh, things and experiences usually that have this pool really creates amazing experiences for myself versus right, experiences where I'm like, I don't know. And then my mind start telling me, but, no, if you do this, it's going to be good, right? Like, then my mind starts convincing me every single time where I allow my mind to convince me. And I would attend this event or workshop or party. It's always like, okay. Versus where I feel that pool. And I might know nothing. I might just know a title and I would go and I would sign up and I would not regret for a second.

Deborah [00:46:29]:

Ah, so good. Thank you. And I love that you're saying that everybody has their own version of this.

Maya [00:46:37]:

For you, it's a pull.

Deborah [00:46:39]:

For somebody else, it might be something else.

Maya [00:46:42]:

Yeah. Explore. And we explore through putting attention and asking this magical question, how do I feel? Right? What does my body tell me?

Deborah [00:46:56]:

So I'd love it if you would just take a moment and tell us a little bit about your program and then give us your website and. Yeah.

Maya [00:47:10]:

Yeah. There is two ways that women can work with me. I have love goddess Temple. It's a community, it's sisterhood, it's a, you know, you can call it membership, but it's really about women coming in together and we channeling this archetype of a love goddess. So you can do that. It's a. It's a monthly subscription. It's very affordable.

Maya [00:47:40]:

There's two calls and a lot of connection between them per month. And I offer love Goddess program. It's a seven week deep dive for somebody who is truly ready to let go their heartbreaks, their dysfunctional dynamics, their patterns in relationship, and take courageous journey to start crossing that bridge to the other side where you have the love you desire. You don't yearn. You don't want. No, no. You have seven weeks. You will learn different practices.

Maya [00:48:20]:

There's total of 13 practices that helps you to stop your destructive patterns, whether it's mindset, whether it's right, like anxiety or fawning or freezing or running away and shift into presence. And then from this grounded experience, right, taking action that actually contributes and supports you on having what you want. So it's really like, I would say it's deeply experiential. And think of this program as a lab, right? Like you're going into the lab, right? Like you're kind of like stepping into this cauldron that will help you to alchemize and then came out really channeling your love goddess. And the great experience. Great experiences happened out of this program. One woman who was on and off all the time with her partner after she did the program, they in connection all the time. They talking about moving in together like things are transforming and shifting.

Maya [00:49:30]:

And there was a woman who everybody were telling her to leave him and she followed her heart. And as a result, their relationship is blossoming and growing. So. Right. It's for those who are really ready. It's not just one of workshops that you kind of do and forget. And that is available for only nine women. So it is limited.

Maya [00:49:53]:

It's a tight container. The next one will be October 2. You can check it out and sign up. All right. And your website is consciouslytransformed.com.

Deborah [00:50:10]:

Consciouslytransform.com. And that will be in the show notes along with all of these other amazing things and where you can get her free gift. And so I just wanna, before we leave, I just wanna ask you if there's one thing that somebody's listening to this conversation, and there's just one thing that you want them to walk away with, like, not miss. What might that be?

Maya [00:50:40]:

That being feminine, being a woman in a relationship, doesn't mean to be passive. You are the heart of your relationship. You are a safe space for yourself and for your partner to thrive on the path of love.

Deborah [00:51:03]:

So good. So, so good. So thank you so much, Maya. It has been such a pleasure to have you. Please follow her on social media. All of this will be in the show notes, and I just want to put a little plug in. I saw you. You were answering questions that people asked.

Deborah [00:51:24]:

And I think it was on Instagram. And it was just so good. It was like, so I think you had like two weeks of question answering or something. It was just so good. So I really, I invite you. Check it out. It's on Instagram. And we'll have her consciouslytransform.com and all the good stuff will be in the show notes.

Deborah [00:51:50]:

So again, thank you so much, Maya. Thank you all for listening. And again, if you want to bring more love and better sex to the world, and if you know somebody who this conversation could help, please share this episode like subscribe, comment, all the good things and we'll see you on the next conversation.

Maya [00:52:20]:

Thank you so much, Deborah. It was my pleasure.