Sexual Healing with Lucia Pavone
Episode 2: Sexual Healing with Lucia Pavone
In this episode, I interview Lucia Pavone, a somatic sex mentor and dear friend.
Lucia began her journey of sexual emancipation began over 17 years ago when she took a sensuality course. Quickly realizing that the pursuit of pleasure was her calling, she became a dedicated researcher of communication, relationships and sensuality.
Since then, she’s trained and experienced over 6,000 hours of Deliberate Embodied Orgasm (full body, extended orgasm), become a trained facilitator of Sacred Dao Pelvic Healing, and has supported hundreds of people in their sexual, ancestral, and trauma healing journeys.
Join Lucia and I as we discuss:
how healing our systems, our stories, and our relationships can help us experience pleasure
the surprising connection your ancestral heritage has to inner awareness and transformation
the difference between an orgasm and a climax
how to use pleasure to strengthen your connections - even your platonic ones - and vice versa
what sensual alchemy is and how it helps your healing journey
the relationship between pleasure and pain
About Lucia Pavone:
Lucia Pavone is a rule-breaker, international speaker, Somatic sex educator, and sensuality mentor. As a modern-day temple priestess, she is passionate about supporting people to embody their sexuality, love their juicy bodies, free themselves from shame, heal sexual traumas and have a sex life worth bragging about.
Connect with Lucia:
Email: lusciouslovelife@gmail.com
Website: www.luciapavone.net
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lusciousluciapavone/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lusciousluciapavone/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/life_luscious
Connect with Deborah:
Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/
Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat
In our commitment accessibility, we’d love to offer polished show notes to help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts.
What we can offer are these very imperfect show notes via the Otter.ai service. The transcription is far from perfect. But hopefully it’s close enough - even with the errors - to give those who aren’t able or inclined to learn from audio interviews a way to participate.
Welcome, Hello, everybody, and welcome to better sex. I am your host, Deborah Kat. And I am thrilled today to have my friend, my colleague, one of the most amazing pleasure instigators on the planet, as my guest, the chia Pavoni.
Unknown Speaker 0:27
Deborah, thank you so much for inviting me to be on the inaugural launch of your amazing podcast, this has been a long time coming, and I'm just so grateful and very proud of you.
Unknown Speaker 0:47
Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 0:49
I so appreciate that. Um, I do want to, you know, tell people a little bit about you, but I want to tell them about you from how I know you. And I,
Unknown Speaker 1:02
I just want to say that you know, you are when it comes to pleasure, you are like a transmission.
Unknown Speaker 1:12
And what what I love about that is not just the way that you talk about it, but really the way that you live it and transmitted. And
Unknown Speaker 1:25
yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:27
Even here in this medium where we're not face to face, I can I can feel how just present and, and joyful and full of pleasure you are. And I know that
Unknown Speaker 1:43
part of having better sex is having pleasure. And part of the part of pleasure that we don't always talk about is how healing it is, for our systems, for our stories for our relationships, and for our sex. And I know that that's something that's a journey that you've been on for
Unknown Speaker 2:08
over 20 years, my time, still lifetimes, not many lifetimes, many lifetimes. And you've done that as, as, you know, CEO, and speaker, you've done that as holding amazing events. Too much women, too much woman comes to mind as just a really incredible experience for women to come together. I know you work with men.
Unknown Speaker 2:40
And I really, you know, how did you get here? What is your story?
Unknown Speaker 2:46
Thank you so much. Well, I guess the healing journey that probably is been the greatest is also the one that I would say, I can attribute getting here too, right? And that is being a mother
Unknown Speaker 3:02
and a daughter
Unknown Speaker 3:04
and a granddaughter.
Unknown Speaker 3:06
Because when I look at my ancestral lineage, I think of you know, first of all my parents are from Sicily. So I have a very deep roots in, you know, the Mediterranean. And so when I look at my genetics, you know, I look at the deep roots in
Unknown Speaker 3:26
West Asia like Persia, Turkey, North Africa,
Unknown Speaker 3:30
Sardinia, and a Burin Peninsula. I look at that as like my foundation of what was going on with sexuality and women and in ancient ways, before I even came into this vessel, and I look at that, and I look at like the trajectory of, you know, the ancient oracles of Kemet, Egypt, right. I look at the oracles of Delphi and I look at you know who I am. And there's a lineage of seers and seekers and sexual healers. And you know, women who were the ones that brought the light, the cheer means light, right, brought the lights in a different way. And I see myself in this body. And, you know,
Unknown Speaker 4:29
21 years ago, when my daughter was born,
Unknown Speaker 4:34
I went on a whole new opening, as I was actually physically being opened,
Unknown Speaker 4:40
having a C section after a planned home birth and four days of labor. Here I was, like, seen for the first time and also
Unknown Speaker 4:52
being open to all of the traumas and the shit and the shame and the religious stuff and
Unknown Speaker 5:00
All of it, like almost flooding into my body. I didn't know it at the time what was going on. But I now if I reflect back into that time period, you know, I know that the birth of my daughter was was kind of like the opening to, you know, it was right, right after I turned 28 It's like my, my Saturn returns that are happening. I was like, oh my goodness, you don't know astrology, it's a time where Saturn comes back into the place where you were born. And it's a time of like learning your lessons. And so there was some lessons that I was learning around,
Unknown Speaker 5:36
loving myself, but I didn't quite learn at the time. You know, I gained 80 pounds in my birth. I thought my thought my genitals were broken. I had no sensation in my genitals after the birth of my daughter. And here I was like living this like life, you know, with, with my my husband at the time, right trying to figure out life. And I didn't know how to have a relationship either. And I was learning everything was learning to be a mom, I was learning being a partner to my husband, I was learning how to be in my pleasure, which I had no clue how to do even though I always thought it was sensual and sexual. And so you know some time into it. I was helping other women having founded co founded the Santa Cruz chapter, the international society and awareness awareness network. And helping lots of women have vaginal birth after C section.
Unknown Speaker 6:32
For me, like one of the greatest things that came out of that C section was meeting another woman who saw my light My potency, my juiciness and saying to me, Lou chia, you are so juicy, you would really love like, this, these courses, I've taken this, you know, around sensuality, and female orgasm, extend an hour orgasm. I'm like, What are you talking about? What the hell is going on? So that was like, kind of the Incarnation, you know, besides listening to Dr. Ruth in eighth grade and
Unknown Speaker 7:06
thinking that I was Dr. Ruth of my family. So my sister saw me they're like, don't you remember when you told us about sex? I'm like, I do.
Unknown Speaker 7:15
All of 13 years old. So those are my humble modern day beginnings, I guess. Mm hmm. i You said something about learning how to be in my pleasure. And that sounds a little different than like, having pleasure or getting pleasure. And so I'm curious about that. Yeah, yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 7:42
you know, I look at when I say Be In My pleasure, I look at this as a capital B, capital E,
Unknown Speaker 7:48
like the place where you don't have to seek anymore.
Unknown Speaker 7:55
But you embody the essence of joy and pleasure. Every single day, is just who you are. It's who you be.
Unknown Speaker 8:06
And,
Unknown Speaker 8:07
you know, I'm reflecting, just remember, I'm reflecting because at the time, I wasn't going, oh, I want to be in my pleasure. I was like, What the fuck, there's dishes here, blah, blah, like, I was,
Unknown Speaker 8:18
like, I was like, I want to have, I want to feel some sense. I want to have sex and feel it like that was it, uh, you know, most people, when they're on a journey, they're like, what's going on with me they find something that's wrong with that, right? So after you've gone through the experiences, and come out, through the experiences that you can reflect, to go, Oh,
Unknown Speaker 8:44
my intention was to be, be in my pleasure, to be pleasure. And, you know, I, I felt like that, that intention was actually being magnetized towards me. Like I my appetite was so big for having that, that be who I was. That when it came to, you know, going down the path of experiencing like, and, you know, my pleasure, my orgasm. So orgasm is separate from climax, right?
Unknown Speaker 9:19
I don't know if you do this, but I want to redefine orgasm. As not a climax of experience but I look at orgasm, as the breath of God.
Unknown Speaker 9:31
Is that potent? Is it is energy that runs through us. And it's an it's, it's a, it's our creative force. It's our life force. But as we read it,
Unknown Speaker 9:45
and move it in our body. It is the healing agent. It is was worth our healing. And so when we think about miracles, when we think about and I'm not talking like religion, I'm talking about divine
Unknown Speaker 10:00
Knowing and intervention, you know, the essence of who we are, is pleasure. It's, it's, it's part of the foundation of,
Unknown Speaker 10:12
of life, it is the foundation of life. For me, it's a piece that's been plucked out. That's why everybody's fucking wobbly all the time.
Unknown Speaker 10:22
It's like that one crucial piece, you know, that allows for all the other pieces to align. Because everything's right now, especially in this time, a day and age, everything's off kilter. Because there's always so much goal orientation, just like, climax, right? Very cool. You gotta get the money. Gotta make it on time. gotta you gotta beat this, you know, you can't fly this way. Because you're not doing this. There's no top pleasure has been squashed.
Unknown Speaker 10:54
Is everything else is off kilter. So when you talk about pleasure, like there's this part of me that's like, there's so there's pleasure that I feel in my body, which I would say sensation. And then there's pleasure that I
Unknown Speaker 11:14
got a can.
Unknown Speaker 11:16
It's funny, as you said, that piece about the breath of God, there is something about like, oh, there's pleasure in my body, and there's something about out, there's something about pleasure that's outside of me. And when the two of those come together, there's, there's magnetic, you know, there's there's like, that's orgasm, at least the way I'm thinking about it and understanding it in this moment. decide, am I on the right track here?
Unknown Speaker 11:43
Well, yeah, okay. So,
Unknown Speaker 11:47
you know, I have to I guess, we should probably look back to like, what, what does pleasure mean? Right? What does pleasure mean?
Unknown Speaker 11:57
You know,
Unknown Speaker 11:59
to me, pleasure
Unknown Speaker 12:02
takes on
Unknown Speaker 12:08
takes on a
Unknown Speaker 12:11
truly almost measurable experience, right? It, it helps us to imprint and what do we need, in order to be an experience pleasure, we need to have our senses ignited, we need to be open.
Unknown Speaker 12:26
Right, you can't measure unless you're actually sensing and feeling seen, smelling, touching, thinking. And so
Unknown Speaker 12:35
we give the validity to things through our senses. So when we lock down,
Unknown Speaker 12:43
when we locked down, we numb ourselves to this experience of pleasure. So when I say, you know, pleasure, it can take on so many things, right?
Unknown Speaker 12:58
If pleasure is what you're after, you're going to find it in everything you do. Because it's it's not an act, right. It's a way of experiencing and creating memories. I love that. So
Unknown Speaker 13:14
essentially, what I just heard you say is that there is pleasure everywhere, everywhere. And that in each moment, we have the choice to turn towards pleasure and our senses, or turn away from set away from pleasure. And that is sort of a numbing or a shutting down. Or my I would say in my language, it's a it's a contracting and a holding so that nothing can really come in and nothing can really go out. Right? And isn't it funny that like, what I'm going to make the correlation here, a climax, you have to contract and hold?
Unknown Speaker 14:02
Right? And there's very little sensation until you can't contract anymore. And then your body automatically releases and that's what a climax is. It's like, suddenly the blood rushes in and you feel oh my god, it's like that a nice Nin quote, about it being you know, like to, you can't hold on anymore. You have to open right? It's like you, like we, we do this and so many things right? We resist, resist, resist, resist, resist, resist. And then the universe kind of come at us by by default. And and like, you know,
Unknown Speaker 14:43
when you're when you're our bodies like especially the feminine, you know the feminine energy. We are ebbing and flowing all the time. We don't always recognize this. But when we are ebbing and flowing and we are like not
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Engaging and acknowledging the energy, the universe will come in and interject and do things like have you bump into shit, get into car accidents, start screaming.
Unknown Speaker 15:14
These are all things have not actually engaged in your pleasure, or numb to the sensation of what those good feelings are. And instead, we start to think of them as like, I'm anxious. I'm, I'm, you know, I'm nervous, or I'm like, I'm so frazzled. And so those are the things that we actually instead been told
Unknown Speaker 15:40
that this energy is
Unknown Speaker 15:42
hysteria. Hmm. Right? People are hysteria.
Unknown Speaker 15:49
This is what this is what this journey of like understanding the very fundamentals of what pleasure is, and then how to actually, you know, understand that that energy is not separate from the universe. It's what the plants and the mycelium, you know, is talking to us with
Unknown Speaker 16:10
is an energy of, of everything in nature, is in harmony with our pleasure. And so are we like, together, we might be far away from each other, but like, I can look at the flesh of your, your, your chest and your cheeks and how your lips are and gorging, you know, it's like, I can see all those things about you. I know and I can actually, I can use them for my pleasure, because I could take pleasure, from your joy, your pleasure. And I just want to pause there for a moment. Because there is I feel like there is this way in which, especially with female identified brought up as female beings, like we don't take pleasure from each other. We don't take pleasure from each other's experience. One of the most profound experiences I've ever had was being in a room with other women in a state of orgasm. And realizing that not only was it not shameful, but it was okay to experience their orgasm through my body.
Unknown Speaker 17:26
And it was okay for me to add to it. And it was okay for me to like, celebrate that and look these women in the eyes later and saying, Wow, thank you for this gift of your orgasm. I love that you share that depth. Because, you know, you asked earlier like what was my journey when did it start is like, I remember the pivotal moment of the first time I experienced my friend in extended orgasm for an hour. I thought I didn't know what I was going to expect, like I anticipated like flailing arms and ejaculate everywhere. But what I saw was
Unknown Speaker 18:08
silence. Surrender, sensuality, and sisterhood.
Unknown Speaker 18:16
There was such an experience that I was witnessing, in that I was crying.
Unknown Speaker 18:23
I felt like there was finally an answer
Unknown Speaker 18:28
of what I was feeling trapped in here. And in here. Like I knew I was like that is it. That's that was the answer.
Unknown Speaker 18:40
No, the day, this is gonna say can you set the scene? Like how is it that you experienced this? This incredible experience, right? So at the time, my husband and I, you know, we were like seeking to have better sex and actually to, for us, it was like to save our marriage actually, you know, and this was in 2003. And I was I was at my wit's end. I was pretty much at the place where I was like, I I was just, I was
Unknown Speaker 19:14
I was in that space of like, what a lot of new moms get, take it. My daughter's three at the time. I was over this shit. Like I'm over this shit. But I had a lot of love for my husband and I had a lot of desire to experience pleasure. I just loved him. I didn't want I didn't want to not be with him. And we were having Okay, sex. It wasn't like we were having bad sex. It was just like I wasn't ratified. A lot of it was that I wasn't able to acknowledge what I had. Because I was so shut down.
Unknown Speaker 19:49
I learned about it through my friend. She said go to take this these courses. I did. I signed up.
Unknown Speaker 19:56
And it was a birthday weekend. Right? It was my husband's birthday.
Unknown Speaker 20:00
They weekend. And so we spent three days
Unknown Speaker 20:04
in a retreat, the first two days, were all learning all about, like
Unknown Speaker 20:09
pleasure based sexuality, communication, how to have gratifying relationships, how to win at, you know, in your relationships, how to actually produce orgasm in a clitoris. And I was like, oh my god, this is about the clitoris. It's not about like fucking or sucking dick or, you know, it was really about
Unknown Speaker 20:32
a divine feminine centered model of sexuality and pleasure. And then at the end of that, so it was a big lead up over like, you know, two days of intense like, knowledge. And then a whole nother day devoted to like, communicating before, during and after. So during this, you know, we were, we were invited to experience a woman in an hour long, extended orgasm, orgasm, like I said, his energy. And it it but it included contractions, it included a jack youlet ejaculate coming up, but she was so still, you could hear a pin drop energy.
Unknown Speaker 21:14
It was like,
Unknown Speaker 21:16
so silent except for her pleasure.
Unknown Speaker 21:20
And being shared. And then I got to go up and put my hand on her on her thigh. And I got to feel
Unknown Speaker 21:30
in my hand what she was experiencing. And it blew my mind. I just sat down and watched and I was in tears. And I was like, I want to do that. So lo and behold, you know, here comes time later. And I'm teaching the courses with my, with my husband at the time, my husband, and we are able to facilitate and I remember our first demonstration of me and orgasm, we did a half an hour demonstration. And then second time we did an hour long demonstration. So we kind of I was like, Let's do half an hour, right? Because I'm fighting to just done the hour, right? That was my own doubt. But it was incredible. It was like, the experience was
Unknown Speaker 22:14
like, I remember I remembered like I was I was feeling the women in the room. And they were they're like,
Unknown Speaker 22:24
Wow,
Unknown Speaker 22:26
I want hat. So that was that was like the the full circle and now you know, that energy of you know the experiences of extended orgasm. Really what? What the full scope of that is still to this day is
Unknown Speaker 22:45
it's been my healing journey has been my healing agent is what supported me from healing from sexual trauma from you know,
Unknown Speaker 22:54
abusive relationships. From so many things, religious shame, religious trauma, ancestral trauma, it's that energy that I've been able to, like take in and harness and shift and transmute, you know, when people talk about sexual transmutation. This is one of the ways you can use that sexual energy is really to heal your body. Right? So I just want to take a moment and say, you know, what is sex. So, trend, transmutation is the taking of an energy, right and pretty much redirecting it to something else. And in the in the process, you're changing that energy. So for instance, you can take in the energy of anger and transmute it into love, you can bring in joy from sadness, you can bring in healing from a place of discomfort. Is that, is that accurate? Do you want to add anything there? Well, what I want to add is etymology. So trans means across
Unknown Speaker 24:10
Mutata a means to, to charge or to change. So
Unknown Speaker 24:18
being able to take
Unknown Speaker 24:22
um,
Unknown Speaker 24:24
it's, I call this sensual alchemy as what I call this, okay? People call it sex magic, transmutation, sexual alchemy. I call it sensual alchemy, because it requires you to engage your senses. pleasurably. Mm hmm. To acknowledge that you have this sexual energy, Mm hmm. And be willing
Unknown Speaker 24:48
to change
Unknown Speaker 24:52
the charge the frequency, Mm hmm.
Unknown Speaker 24:56
To be able to magnetize your body so that you can
Unknown Speaker 25:00
magnetize things to you. So you're not changing something outside of yourself. Mm hmm. It's all within, it's your frequency that you are transmuting. And so you're not optimizing anything outside of yourself, but only yourself. So then you can tell you are able to actually have those experiences that are on your frequency or on on your charge. Does that make sense?
Unknown Speaker 25:30
Um, it's a yes. And
Unknown Speaker 25:38
and I want to, I want to bring it down just a hair. So, um,
Unknown Speaker 25:46
so basically, so So what like, is it when you when you describe what you're doing? Right, and I understand. So first, let's say there's a difference between doing and being? Sure, absolutely. And what I keep hearing you talk about is being in the pleasure, right? And so
Unknown Speaker 26:09
I am curious, like, can you? Can you talk a little bit about what the doing is to get to the being?
Unknown Speaker 26:16
Sure, absolutely. I think some of the doing includes
Unknown Speaker 26:20
things like setting intentions. Acknowledging, having gratitude. I'm
Unknown Speaker 26:30
learning because there's a knowledge base, right? You don't just suddenly have an hour long orgasm. Mm hmm. Oh, but within that, within that period, there are moments where you can pause and just be hmm. And be and not have to overthink everything. At some point, it becomes commonplace, right? It's a Well, for me, I should say this for me. Mm hmm. There was a point where I just I made the choice to be in my pleasure, meaning
Unknown Speaker 27:05
whatever the situation was, and I know, you've seen me go through this, I sure have situations that might seemingly feel like they're the end of the world, you know,
Unknown Speaker 27:19
I was able to
Unknown Speaker 27:22
slow down,
Unknown Speaker 27:24
acknowledged my senses open up, not shut them down, and take the energy I was feeling and choose to be use it for my pleasure to be pleasurable.
Unknown Speaker 27:38
So I just want to, you know, Mark, that there's a few steps that you're talking about slowing down being the first one, right, acknowledging what's actually going on, there's a great, you know, quote, I'm not going to get it right, but about how, like, when you argue with reality, you lose, right?
Unknown Speaker 28:02
Controllers agreement,
Unknown Speaker 28:04
you got to get into agreement.
Unknown Speaker 28:07
Right, so, so acknowledging, getting into agreements, um, you know, and then shifting, and, yes, I have seen you shift through some amazing experiences, you know, bringing in one of the things that that I just remember off the top of my head is, it's like, how do you, you know, bringing in a disappointing situation.
Unknown Speaker 28:33
And, you know, looking at it, and I kind of remember going through this with you, it's like, this is what's going on, it's not exactly how I wanted it to be,
Unknown Speaker 28:43
you know, and then like, what, what can we what can I have in this moment that is going to be pleasurable.
Unknown Speaker 28:52
And, you know, I want to stress like, in some ways, it sort of sounds like grinning and baring it and that is not it at all. So it's nor is it spiritual, bypassing my Okay.
Unknown Speaker 29:09
Exactly. And, and I just really want to be clear about that, like there is,
Unknown Speaker 29:16
you know, there is the ability to, to actually be with the disappointment or be with the situation in the way that it actually is. And look for the places where there's pleasure. Is that absolutely, because, you know, you've heard me say this for the shit level is
Unknown Speaker 29:36
always, and you can, like, dive in and take a snoot fall and you can be in the shit all the time. Right? And it's shit stinks. Any of you who are listening, she's got her she's got her finger right underneath your nose.
Unknown Speaker 29:51
Thank you for describing that because I forgot this as a podcast. I know that we're, we're, we're looking at each other. So when you look at it, like you
Unknown Speaker 30:00
know that that shit stinks, right? We know that we know that. That's the obvious the obvious is that when we smell something, and it's it, it doesn't smell good, it doesn't smell good. The thing is what comes from shit. Like, if we didn't have shit, we wouldn't have compost, we wouldn't have decomposition, we wouldn't have like the whole layer of like mycelium on the earth, keeping the earth together, you know, growing mycelium and fungus and trees, that our whole ecosystem would be dead without the shit. And so when you think of like, the one thing that you can, you can pick out is that there's so much growth and life, even within the toughest situations. And in the moment, it might seemingly feel like you can never get out of it.
Unknown Speaker 30:55
When you have understood what pleasure feels like, when we understand there's a fine line between pleasure and pain.
Unknown Speaker 31:04
You have to know that that is just an interpretation of the pressure within your body. So it's energy pressures is energy. So when you have this energy, we call it pleasure. Call something pleasurable for as it depends, you know, let me let me rephrase this,
Unknown Speaker 31:23
we'll look at something as pleasurable. Mm hmm. For
Unknown Speaker 31:29
when we have been the person that's created the experience that can call it that, but say, somebody else creates the experience, and to them, they're like, This is so fucking pleasurable. We might actually call that as not pleasurable, right. So because we didn't, we didn't, we didn't choose to create it. So what I when it comes to being in my pleasure, I'm choosing moment by moment to create the situation.
Unknown Speaker 31:58
Even when it seemingly the circumstance comes to me in a certain way, I'm still choosing to create it. On my terms. pleasurably. Do I do this all the time? No.
Unknown Speaker 32:11
Is it some time, but at this point in my life, just because I, my body has been reprogrammed. my nervous system has been reprogrammed in pleasure, that I lean in to the pleasure. I still experienced those I still experienced out, I still experienced insecurities. I mean, even this morning, I was like, you know, texting my boyfriend, a little dissertation about why I was insecure. And he was like,
Unknown Speaker 32:41
it's like, called me he's like,
Unknown Speaker 32:46
I do want to talk about this, damn it, like I do. I do want to talk about this, I recognize it's me. And, you know, he's like, I really don't do insecurities. And I'm like
Unknown Speaker 33:03
so I better I got a choice, like, he's honest. So I was like, I better get over myself. Because, you know, that's only gonna serve nobody, right? It's not gonna serve me, it's not gonna serve him. He's like, you know, you're fine. Just, you know, keep living, keep keep having fun. And it was like this moment of, like, oh, I can really choose fun. I can choose pleasure. Right? Well, and that's a big thing is it's like, sometimes we need that reminder from the outside, you know, sometimes we need that person to be able to hold up the mirror and be like that.
Unknown Speaker 33:40
I hear that, you know, you have this story about how this isn't working. And I just want to point out that I want to remind you that, you know, you have the capability to go back to pleasure that, you know, I hear that that's your story. And, you know,
Unknown Speaker 34:03
one of the things my partner says to me on a regular basis is you know,
Unknown Speaker 34:09
I get that's the story, right?
Unknown Speaker 34:15
It's funny because it's enough of a tagline to piss me off, crack me up and get me back into my, into my zone all at the same time. And I know that that you know, that's, that's something that you're masterful at is
Unknown Speaker 34:34
you know, holding up that that that mirror and that being that reminder, not just in your transnational self, but like that's, that's what you do for your clients. That's what you do for the people who will come to you and say,
Unknown Speaker 34:51
you know, I want to use this orgasm for healing and and for having a better life and a better sex life.
Unknown Speaker 35:00
Here's the thing, a lot of times my clients that, you know, that they don't, they don't lead with, like, I want to have an orgasm video, like, says no, no client.
Unknown Speaker 35:10
Like, that's not even something that like comes into the picture, there's usually like a, there's something that that's going on, there are clients that are like, I really want to learn how to have pleasure and orgasm, and then they realize that that's healing and it things open for them. I've had clients that went that route that were coming in for the pleasure, and recognizing that they were doing some deep ancestral healing work. But I also get a lot of clients that are coming in with like, kind of a client flying in Italy, who you know, is dealing with endometriosis, and like, all these, like deep, you know, clenched pelvis, and, and, you know, I didn't lead with, like, your pleasure is going to heal you.
Unknown Speaker 35:52
But she just saw who I was. And she's like, I've heard so much about you. And I'm coming to California, like, Okay, well, we'll make the space to do that. So I mean, that's, that's how, that's how potent the power of pleasure is, is that when one woman experiences it, and then starts to do her healing work, that she can tell another woman, and then it doesn't matter. You know, where you're Where You Are you still feeling that? And so, you know, it's my, I don't even call this work anymore. It's my purpose. It's like it's it's a you know, Deborah, being a temple Priestess is not work. It's it's like a calling
Unknown Speaker 36:35
for yourself, right? Because we're always doing the work that we do for ourselves. And then we're using our own energy, our own sexual energy as part of the healing agent to
Unknown Speaker 36:48
like, we couldn't do the work with other people. If we weren't in our pleasure. Yeah, absolutely. You know, you can't, we can't do what we do as priestesses and, and support other people. But we always had to fill up our own chelas First, don't forget that, like you have got to drink from your Chalice, before you pour onto others. And that is the biggest lesson I have learned the past four years. Ah, thank you. I love that. And, you know, we have been talking mostly about female body peoples. So I'm wondering if you were to you know, if there's one thing that you would want men to understand about the feminine, what might that be? Or, and so let's break it down further. So I talk I like to talk and divine masculine divine feminine energies. And me myself, I don't like to put labels on but for the sake of this podcast, I identify as queer. And so I really, I am very fluid in my sexuality. For people with penises, we've been talking mainly about cisgendered.
Unknown Speaker 37:54
Women with vulvas, right and clitoris, what you know, for people with penises, however you identify
Unknown Speaker 38:02
this energy is, you know, it's, it's a little bit different, right? Because I, I've, I've learned it as that sexual energy really does come from, you know, the Divine Feminine parts. So there's part of you that has defined feminine energy. Everybody has divine feminine masculine energies. And that's what we're going to call it for this, you know, fluid energies. The labeling is is a construct, right? So we have this energy that must balance each other within ourselves to feel the full effect of of union with ourselves. Before we find that in another partner. For people with penises, you know,
Unknown Speaker 38:41
they generally tend to respond to that energy because they don't necessarily produce it in their own bodies. You know, they, you know, they don't have the, the, the, they're not the they're not the ones that are carrying life in their bodies.
Unknown Speaker 38:56
per se, if you have a penis, yes, you have half of that equation. For sure. Yeah, spark you have the spark but I don't know if you ever the recent videos of what it means what how what it takes to get into an egg it's not like it's not like we thought it was it was like there's a deflection against all of those little sperm.
Unknown Speaker 39:23
So there has to be an incredible connection
Unknown Speaker 39:28
that one sperm to actually move. I'm using this as an analogy for everything else right to move and connect. So that that that that energy has to meet the other energy, and once they meet and there's a chemical reaction. Alchemy happens outright alchemy happens. And suddenly, you've literally created a new beat. I mean, how fuckin amazing is that? First of all, um,
Unknown Speaker 39:56
but it's funny as I hear you say that I have this
Unknown Speaker 40:00
Moment of like, oh, so there's actually connection.
Unknown Speaker 40:04
Before penetration. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 40:09
Before even penetrates, there's like a membrane and there's an alchemical process that closes down to all of the other sperm, before it even goes into it breaks the barrier are, our chemical reaction happens, everything else gets like through if there's two at the same time. That's like, pretty amazing, right? So everything gets else gets shut down. So this is what happens, like, let's say, with with people with penises, as they're responding, how I see it is that they're feeling into that feminine energy, whether it's in themselves, or within a divine feminine body person, that that allows for them to transmute their own energy into, like, attracting the things that they want. You know, it's like, for so here's the thing in tantric practices, right?
Unknown Speaker 41:12
For sex magic to occur, the the person with ovaries or vulva, they, you know, it's said to have a climax, having a climax is what brings open that kind of energy, I think you don't need the climax, I think you could just move it. But generally, you're still contracting,
Unknown Speaker 41:32
or the, the penis holder, it's actually retaining, it's not letting go of the seat is actually it's being able to not let that seed come out. So you can still have an orgasm. But semen retention is part of it, that is part of like the transmutation is holding on to your ejaculation. But still moving the energy through your body. And so this is the difference, right? The way the way the two bodies work. So when it comes to actually, you know, creating the magnet, it's done in two different ways. You know, one one holds in, and one expands out.
Unknown Speaker 42:23
That makes sense.
Unknown Speaker 42:25
It does. And I'm curious if you were to bring that into like if you had one phrase or something that a mantra type of thing where somebody a penis oriented,
Unknown Speaker 42:39
can kind of hold on to when they're in the presence of
Unknown Speaker 42:47
you know, of a female or a female oriented person. What might that be? A mantra
Unknown Speaker 43:00
Well, I kind of feel on the spot, but what would a mantra be?
Unknown Speaker 43:07
You know, I am a reflection of
Unknown Speaker 43:12
the divine feminine and masculine energies brought forth plummy.
Unknown Speaker 43:19
That's so good. I am a reflection of the divine masculine and feminine energies.
Unknown Speaker 43:28
Beautiful. Well, and
Unknown Speaker 43:33
so thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I know that we, there's, I feel like we just scratched the surface, but oh, say is because the topic was using your orgasm to heal. I mean, like there's other pieces to this, right. There's a, there's a biological process that happens in your body. There's like the practical pieces around the vagus nerve, the the repatterning of your nervous system. There is, you know, energetic and Metaphysical Healing that goes into this, but just know that the, the fuel to this is orgasmic energy. And so, you know, I teach all this stuff, my courses, I use this, as, you know, a way to support my clients. And I know Deborah, you use it too, we might have different wording around it. But you know, this is stuff that like, trying to just explain it doesn't doesn't actually do it justice because
Unknown Speaker 44:37
it's taken us like,
Unknown Speaker 44:39
years 20 plus years between the both of us like we have half a century of knowledge right?
Unknown Speaker 44:48
In not only in the, the knowledge part, but the actual practicum of hours like we I know I've spent over 10,000 hours of my life
Unknown Speaker 45:00
involved in the pleasure of learning about sexuality, sensuality, orgasm, and then the lifetime. So, like, I know, that is it's not like, I'm not a novice. You know, I'm a world renowned leader at this point, like, people who do what I do.
Unknown Speaker 45:22
And so
Unknown Speaker 45:24
I want to talk about this because I think I think the universe and humanity deserves to know that, you know, even though we are living in a colonized puritanical culture here in the United States that this shit has got to stop, we have got to come back to our essence of ancient Kemet, we have to come back into who we are, that is pleasure, and pleasure heals, sexuality is part of who we are, it is the foundation of who we are. And through through that energy, we can start to come back into wholeness and heal the planet, because right now, you know, there's a lot of shit going down. Oh, my goodness, they don't, we're not going to go there. Right, right. But just every fuckery and I just want to come back to and highlight and bold and put it in italics and everything else, like pleasure, heals, you know, pleasure heals us as individuals, you know, we can have individual practices of pleasure, we can have, like, you know, with our, with our couples, with our friends with our relations, and, and when I say with our friends and relations, I'm not necessarily talking about like, you know, touching, I'm talking about just being that reflection of pleasure, like we were talking about earlier, and reminding each other
Unknown Speaker 46:54
that, you know, that pleasure is a is a healing experience, that pleasure is a connecting experience, that it is something that is necessary.
Unknown Speaker 47:06
And, you know, the other piece is it's like, sometimes people are like, Well, why do I want to heal something, and it's like, because as you heal, you know, as you bring more of yourself to the table a there's more to play with, which, you know, on a very personal level, it's like, you know, you were attacking it to go back to the beginning your origin story, you know, you didn't feel you didn't have feeling in your genitals. And so on a very physical level of healing that, um, you know, you have more capacity in your own body, you have more capacity to bring to your partner to bring to the bedroom, to bring to the boardroom. And you know, pleasure is in a Lightning Experience. And the more healed we are, the more pleasureful we are, the more orgasmic we are.
Unknown Speaker 48:01
The you know, there's more that is available to us, the more in the better. Like, you know, the the quality deepens with every experience. Right? I just want to say thank you so much, that you can learn more about Lucia her bio and her contact information is in the show notes. And along with the show notes, you'll find a way to get a hold of her and to get to experience her wisdom.
Unknown Speaker 48:39
Thank you so much, Deborah. It's been such a joy and
Unknown Speaker 48:42
yet Sherry pleasure.
Unknown Speaker 48:46
My love
Transcribed by https://otter.ai