What Human Design has to teach us about Sex and Relationship with Baeth Davis

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I sit down with Baeth Davis– often known as “Dr. Purpose”-- with over 24 years using her intuition, business experience, expertise in scientific hand analysis and human design to help global leaders clients discover and unleash their purpose for deep soul fulfillment.  You might wonder what this has to do with better sex…. Well, in this lively conversation you get a taste of Baeth's passion for purpose as we how this along with human design supports better relationships (thus, better sex!) Throughout our conversation she shares how to cultivate your relationship with your body to feel empowered both in the boardroom AND the bedroom. We also get a bit of her story along the way with loads of juicy tidbits to help you fully show up in your relationships.

Connect with Baeth Davis

https://yourpurpose.com
Join the Facebook community:
https://facebook.com/groups/aligntoyourdesign

Connect with Deborah

https://DeborahKat.Com 

https://www.deborahkat.com/turnedon

In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.

00:00 *Deborah Kat * Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the Better Sex Podcast, where we have unfiltered conversations about sex and relationships. My name is Deborah Catt, and I truly believe that a sexy world is a safer world. And to that note, I have unfiltered conversations with all sorts of interesting people who have beautiful and different perspectives on the world. So I am ridiculously excited to have my guest here today, Baeth Davis. Baeth Davis is known as the Dr. Purpose. One of her clients gave her this nickname, and it stuck. Beth is an advisor to entrepreneurs and career professionals globally. Using her intuition, extensive sales, marketing, and content creation experience, 24 years in business, and expertise in scientific hand analysis and human design, Beth helps you discover and unleash your purpose, and then design your life around your gifts so that you can experience a life of soul fulfillment. As I said, I am ridiculously excited to have Beth here today. We have been in each other's worlds for many, many years, and so I have gotten to see all sorts of different sides of her. But I am going to turn it over to you, Beth, and just give us a little bit of a glimpse into your story, and how did you

01:44 *Baeth Davis * get here? Get where? Are we getting somewhere? That's a great question. The more I live, the more I think the place I'm aspiring to getting, being in the now, is being here now. I started my business when I was 27 years old. Some of the people in our community know the story, but I had been going to my office job and then coming home and crying myself to sleep, and I thought, there's got to be a better way than this. I want to start my own business. It wasn't a clear thought like that. What it was, was that I was depressed because I didn't feel like I was using my gifts. I didn't feel that I was contributing and being of service in the way that makes my heart so happy. I wanted those people that actually really like helping people. I've had to learn the balance because I tend to be an over-giver, the recovering martyr here. But I've gotten much better at managing my own personal boundaries, and it turns out I still love to serve. When I was in my late 20s and I was in that job, I was really unhappy. I began to meditate and pray for some kind of sign. And around that time, a friend named Pammy kept bugging me to get my palms read, and I thought, that's a really dumb idea. And that's not the first time or the last time I've said to someone, really, that's a dumb idea. But she kept pestering me, and I finally said, okay, I will get my palms read. And the reading I had with this sweet woman named Terri Lynn was really incredible. And Terri Lynn went on to tutor me for a time. She may even still be, I don't know where, I lost track of her, but she was a really smart, smart woman, told great stories. And so I asked her, I said, can I sit in on readings if your clients are okay with it? And most of the clients were. So I got to sit in on readings and watch how she did the readings. And there's nothing quite like that, watching the way she asked questions and the way the client would respond. And so this went on for about a year. And then I told her that I wanted to start doing readings myself. And I would still love to collaborate with her. Well, that went over like a lead balloon. And she wasn't any too happy about that. We since later patched things up. And I was dreading the conversation too, because I knew it wasn't going to be happy for her. But that was really the start of me wanting to have my own business. And for about a couple of years, I had a part-time job. And then over the years, I built up the coaching component, because I would do readings and then people would come back to me and say, I need some help applying this. So I am a pattern recognition specialist and a practical applier of data. My real gift with people is helping them see how to take something abstract and esoteric and make it practical. And in about 2014, I was reintroduced to human design. I had heard about it, but unfortunately blew that friend off. And I wish I'd listened to her. But anyway, I did listen to the second friend who brought it up. Hey, what's your type in human design? I said, I think I'm a generator, but I have no idea what it means. And she started explaining to me, it's our mutual friend, Christina Marassi. She started, yeah, yeah, Christina, we had gone to ecstatic dance and we were all sweaty sitting in some vegan place, eating some vegan meat and whatever we were eating. As one does. It was actually quite delicious, but we're eating something, some mysterious thing from the vegan place. And she's like, do you remember? And I said, yeah, generator. And she started explaining to me about how she was learning how to respond to life. And then we got into that conversation of what does pussy want? What does the sacral reproductive generative part of our body want? And for generators and manifesting generators, I went on to learn about human design. We have a defined sex center or sacral center and it's 70% of humanity has this. And so it responds through the sound. It's actually a sound wave that comes up. And most of us, 70% of us are meant to respond to these sounds. So she was explaining how she'd been using it. And somehow the light bulb went off and I went, Oh, Oh, I've been going out around things really too hard. Like I am making my life way too difficult based on what she was reporting. So I dove into studying it. And I

06:53 *Deborah Kat * guess around 2016, 2017, I introduced my clients to it, who I had been teaching hand analysis to. And I still love hand analysis. However, the one thing that I think sets human design apart from every other system is it shows you technically step by step, how to make correct decisions. And I still make mistakes and still make incorrect ones, but I'm getting better. Got it. So I'm going to pause you a second and ask, ask, you know, for those folks that aren't familiar, what is, how would you describe human design?

07:30 *Baeth Davis * Human design is a system that is an integration of many systems. So it incorporates the book of changes or the Yijing from thousands of years ago in China, which has the 64 hexagrams. When the human genome was, or genome was mapped out, there are 64 codons of DNA. And this thing called the body graph in human design is a nine centered being. Many of us are familiar with the seven chakra being, but we mutated in 1781, according to the prophecy of human design and science is behind human design, improving what human design has prophesized. But this system is the 64 hexagrams, the now nine centers in the body graph. And I wonder if I have a, well, I have, I'll cover up the title, but if you look there, you could sort of see this, this body graph and it's such an extraordinary system. There's, there's astrology in it. The Kabbalah, it deals very much with the human body, the human body, the human body, the Kabbalah. It deals very much in, in yin and yang, which is sort of my favorite angle on it is, is understanding polarity and how to balance polarity inside yourself. Which interestingly enough, the more people balance the polarity in themselves, the less interested they are in sex. It's very, it's very interesting. And there's a lot we could talk about there about how humans are mutating. We're changing so much sexually and the way we relate. And we're seeing this in society as people really want to take a label off their identity in many ways. I mean, some people may be putting a label on their identity, but many other people are realizing, oh, I'm, I'm so many different colors and flavors and, and ways of being. And, and how do I express this in the world? So yeah, Human Design was downloaded by a man named Raul Ruhue in 1987, which interestingly enough is the same time that the fingerprint system that I learned by Richard Unger was downloaded. And that was right around the time Haley's comment was

09:57 *Deborah Kat * flying over South America. And it was hitting us with much more particle data than we were used to. So any of us who were born at that time or before that time got a very, very powerful upgrade that then entered into the mutation stream of humanity. And so this system combines all these other systems into a very elegant, accurate and effective way to approach life. I love that. And, you know, I know for myself, learning my Human Design as a manifesting generator and the idea of making sound to respond has truly transformed how I do things. You know, I used to really judge myself for noticing like, oh, I have this way of sitting with things before I leap, right? You know, it's like, I've got this idea, I'll sit with it for a while. And then all of a sudden, it's like a full body, oh, it's time. And I really used to discount that. And it's only been in the last few years where I've gone like, oh, you know, this, this, this is my wisdom. This is my body wisdom. I want to go back to, you know, you started to talk a little bit about the polarities. And I'm curious, like, how, how does Human Design support our relationships with others?

11:37 *Baeth Davis * Well, more than half of humanity isn't really designed to know how to do relationships. Maybe you've noticed this. Yeah. And I was thinking like, the people I've had the most challenge with relating aren't designed for relationships. So there's a thing called split definition in Human Design. And what it basically means is one area is colored in, but it's not connected directly. It doesn't have an activation to another part of the design. So there's two parts that are separate. And usually what happens for someone with split definition, which I think is about 46% of the population, when you meet someone who bridges your split, there's a sense of completeness. Now I am split definition. And according to Ra when he was alive, he's since passed on in many of his lectures, he talked about how split definition people are really here to teach the rest of humanity how to relate, provided that they're acting correctly from their design. But there are single definition people where the energy is in one felt, you can trace it, where there's no break in the energy in their design. Then you have people that are triple split or quad split, where they have four areas of definition that aren't connected or three areas. So the single definition, the triple and the quad have a much more challenging time understanding, as it were, what is the purpose of relating. And the purpose of relating fundamentally is that you have many aspects of yourself that cannot be fully activated or even accessed without you being in the aura of other people. And zoom doesn't cut it. I love zoom. It's great in a pinch, but we actually cannot relate correctly without being in each other's auras. And that's part of the main reason and I'll argue anyone on this, that there's been so much fallout from the pandemic is due to the epidemic of loneliness, because we are actually a oneness species. Aspen trees have a root system underneath them that connects the aspen trees. So that actually the trees have a network under the soil. And there are many plants that do this, but aspen trees are quite beautiful. And I lived in Colorado for quite a while. And boy, when they turn gold and the whole mountain is gold, it's quite a thing, golden leaves, aspen leaves. But the humans have this same or like ants, we're like ants, we're like aspen trees, we're actually a hive mind. And so when we're not regularly in the auras of other people, there's parts of us that don't get actualized. So we begin to feel very stagnant. We begin to think, does my life even matter? Because without the reflection ongoing of other people, you actually start to feel like you don't exist. So life is very tricky, because we need validation, primarily from ourselves. But the way we learn validation is by being in the presence of others. So when people are not in each other's auras, there's many, many aspects of the self that don't get utilized. And this leads to all sorts of unpleasant side effects like depression, and in extreme cases, suicide, what I have seen is just epic amounts of loneliness, even myself, and I, I would have bouts of loneliness in the past, but now I can just feel it in the air, I can smell it in the air. Some some various statistical reports in the United States, at least show that something like a third of adult women don't have any meaningful interaction with a male person in a year. Wow, they might talk to the pool guy, or bang him if they get the chance, right? Or they might, they might, they might, I'd like to bag the pool, I don't have a pool, but you know, if I did send the pool guy over, right? So like, like, there's so much isolation, you know, and I'm a person built for relationship. And, you know, one of the things people hear a lot is, oh, you've got to love yourself before you have a relationship. And my, actually, people learn how to love by being loved. That's how you learn to love. I do agree, it's good to work on your issues, get some therapy, if you're codependent, or overly selfish, whatever the case. However, when two willing people, whether it's work or love are willing to understand one another, which I think is the fundamental basis of relating, and we're willing to actually communicate what's actually going on, there can be transcendence. However, built into our genetics is a natural suspicion of the opposite sex. It's built in. Okay, you got to say more about that. It's built in. Well, part of what creates sexual attraction is tension. So when you're attracted to someone and a little bit afraid of them, it's very, very tantalizing to the human brain, it almost signals let's reproduce. And so you may very often be drawn to people where you'd have good reproductive outcomes, but you're not attracted to them. Not necessarily a great relationship. It's just that the genes are further enough apart that you're going to create a strong offspring. And I suppose you could say the same is true when you get together with people creatively. You want to birth a project together. But yes, it's actually built into our gene code. One of the things I've learned from human design is, for example, every channel is a binary. So the extremes are on either end, and then everything else is in between. Right? So when people say they're non binary, that we're really in between binaries, often in different stages of our evolution. Most people are not monogamous. Even if they're even if they're split definition, they may tend more to monogamy. But, you know, monogamy isn't our natural state. Banging things, right, getting banged and banging to reproduce. And what's happening is that imperative to have all those children that led to this massive world's population,

18:16 *Deborah Kat * that imperative has shifted in our genome. You know, it's funny, I had this thought the other day, because I've been, you know, hearing a lot about, you know, testosterone is changing, and the amount of, you know, sperm that men are producing are changing. And, you know, somebody said something about, like, all of these conflicts are this are trying to get that testosterone moving, and that's for moving. And I was like, well, wait a second here, we don't actually need that many more people. Or, you know, maybe it's not that we don't need it. But it's like in our present configuration, it seems difficult to provide everybody with what they need. So it would make sense that as as a species, if we've, if we've gone beyond our habitat, then,

19:10 *Baeth Davis * you know, that that the birthrate would go down. Oh, it is going down. The population is plummeting. The world's population is going to drop by about 50% in the next 30 to 50 years. 50%. The environment will be fine. You know, all of the so much of the hoopla people get worried about. Mostly people can't do much about first of all, and it isn't even necessary. Let me put this in another context, because I say things and then everybody gets all upset because I didn't put it in context. So let me just break this down a little bit. There was an imperative from the solar system from the larger cosmos, under the right angle cross a planning, which started in about 1600 and 15 and it ends in 2027 in four years. Why is everything falling apart? It isn't because of humans. We're just conduits for data. All we have is our decision making ability. That's it. Right. So that's what I've learned from human is human design. You have your strategy and your authority. That's the one thing you have to try and shape your world. And it's a wonderful power, but there are powers. Sure. Have you, you know, for those not listening, listening who aren't familiar with strategy? Sure. What is it? Right. So in human design, there are four main types. There's the manifestor, the generator, the projector, and the reflector. And then there's a hybrid, the manifesting generator, part manifestor, part generator, but they have a, they have a similar operating system to the generator. So I'm just going to include them as generator. So each type has their own way of dealing with opportunity and challenge. So if you did a, you did a SWOT analysis, right? Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threat, a SWOT analysis. You could do that on, on kind of any decision, but then ultimately you need to first use your strategy. So for manifestors, they need to inform people of what they're thinking of doing so that they don't get resistance for generators and manifesting generators. They need to be in response to their environment, right? Which you're also taught you shouldn't be in on some level. Like a lot of the conditioning is like, oh, the weather can't change your mood. I'm like, yes, it can. If you're a highly sensitive person, the weather could do a lot of things to your mood. Are you totally a victim to that? No, you can change your state, but the environment is always giving us things to respond to. For projectors, they need to wait to be invited to the big things like jobs, relationships, right? And then reflectors, they, they are moon children. They go with the moon cycle. So for any big decision, they need at least an entire month, a month. Now where human design is so brilliant is you start seeing all the conditioning like just do it. Well, that only works for manifestors. Just do it. The rest of us have to do it, but not until we've gone through the correct strategy. Now there are eight different authorities and two of them technically aren't even authorities, but there's six inner authorities to make decisions and they're in the body. They're below the neck. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And then there's the reflector that they don't have an inner authority because their strategy is their authority. In other words, they wait that moon cycle and then they have a knowing and it's good if they talk things out with friends and family, but they just have a knowing, but they don't know right away because they sample. They sample the transits, which is the solar system, and they sample the auras of other people. They're about 1% of them. They're about 1% of the population. Generators and manifesting generators make up 70%, 37% generators, 33% manifesting generators. Projectors are about 20% and then the manifestors are 9%. So if you think about this, let's just go back in time to Egyptian times. And there's the pharaoh and the pharaoh is in charge and the pharaoh informs and says, you are my slaves, build this pyramid or whatever. Now, who knows if they actually did it? It could have been built by aliens. We may never know, but somebody built that thing, those pyramids, those big, big buildings. And up until very recently, the manifestors had control. And if you look at a lot of the dictators through history, who really, like someone like Hitler, manifestor. So that's the shadow side of it. The upside of the manifestor is when they're informing to better humanity, they have such a tremendous impact. The thing is they often don't know about this capacity that they have because they're operating like generators. They keep waiting for people to ask them. They're trying to be polite and their job is just to inform people, hey, this is what I think we should do. There's no question in that. This is what I'm doing, wanted to let you know. They're not asking for permission. Generators going back and forth, well, Deborah, where do you want to eat? Well, I don't know, Beth. Well, maybe we could go to Chinese. Well, you know, and then we have to ask our sacral, right? Or back and forth, back and forth. It's pretty funny. So, like, for example, if you're out to dinner with a bunch of generators, the manifesting generators, it's good for each other to wait and see what the other's interested in and actually just kind of listen as people are saying things off the menu. And then you ask one another, what do you want? Then everybody orders what they want, you know, because we try to make decisions from our mind and our mind really stopped being a decision maker a long time ago. So anyway, these types have different strategies. And then there's eight different styles of making a decision. And for reflectors, it's always the moon cycle. And for mental projectors, it's feeling good in their environment. So they don't technically have an inner authority. But the other six decision making styles are very much from listening to your body. And 51% of humanity makes decisions from their emotions. And I mean, makes decisions from emotional clarity. Now, that is not what we're taught, is it? People are told feelings aren't facts. Well, for me, they're usually facts. My feelings are almost always right. Ask anyone that knows me, they're like, Beth, the only mistake you ever make in life is going against what you feel. Because my feelings, I'll get a whole body sensation when I meet a person, and I'll know everything. I'll even see pictures of like their past lives and what they used to do, good or bad. Like I'll just flat out say to someone like, you used to be a criminal, didn't you? They're like, how'd you know that? I'm like, I just got a picture of you when you used to commit crimes. Do you want to talk about it? You know, so I am not everyone's favorite person to talk to because, you know, you really, you can't get anything by me. And once I learned human design, I was like, you know what? I'm not going to go against my feelings anymore. It pisses some people off for sure, because I won't play the reindeer games anymore. But the liberation, when you are living correctly. So I feel like personally, what my, you know, mission's always evolving, Deborah, like I have my life purpose, which has pretty much stayed the same since I was a little kid. I know I'm here to lead. I'm always assigned or asked to be in charge of stuff. And that's just, that's in your genetics. Leadership is genetic. You can teach people to be better leaders, but only if they have leadership in their genetics. And everybody does it. And often the people that really try to be leaders aren't supposed to be. I mean, I have flat out told people, why do you keep trying to be a leader? You suck at it, but you're a great shaman. Why don't you go do that? You know, you're an artist. Like, what are you doing? And you know, you think I want to be the leader? No. So we're given, but apparently my soul did, right? So leadership's a perfect example where you either have it or you don't. You can't, you can be the leader of your own life by making correct decisions. But many people know they're not called to leadership. And I'll look at their chart and they're not, they know they're, they know they're lame. So just from my own personal experience, I spent the bulk of my life discounting my feelings and going against my feelings, which has led to bad decisions. And I even think the health challenges I've had in my life, because there's such a cost that an emotional being pays when they don't listen to their feelings. Yeah. And so my evolving mission, I'm sorry, I lost the thread there, my evolving mission now, I really feel is to help highly sensitive people who are emotional to learn what their emotions are trying to communicate with them, to teach people how to follow their emotional wave, which changes daily and throughout the day. And it actually has its own cycle. So one thing I'm in the process of doing is deconstructing

28:47 *Deborah Kat * my own emotional wave so I can help my clients deconstruct theirs. For example, the reflector follows the moon cycle. Each reflector has their own path that they follow with the moon based on their chart. And they can learn this cycle. There's great power in understanding how you're wired. Yeah, go ahead. I was just gonna say, absolutely. And as I'm listening to you, I'm curious whether there is, as we're talking about this, whether there are patterns that are more, what popped into my head is are there patterns that are more sexual? Are there patterns that because you said that there are patterns that are designed for relationships. So I'm curious, that made me wonder if there are patterns that are more built and designed for sexual experience?

29:55 *Baeth Davis * Yeah, well, one of the most sexual, there's a channel, the gate 55 and gate six come together and gate 59 is pure sexual energy. And gate six is the gate of friction. Well, you can see where this is leading, right? So it's through the friction that people have the orgasm. Well, in life, too much friction, too much tension can lead to an argument, right? Humor is based on the concept of tension, right? What makes us laugh, the fundamental thing that makes us laugh is that somebody says something that you normally wouldn't say in polite company. And it's a basis of almost all humor, whether it's clean humor, dirty humor, whatever kind of humor, right, offensive humor. It's the friction that creates the evolution that creates the growth. So there are some distinctly sexual energies in the chart. Gate 59 is the mother of the emotional wave. It's the mating gate. And I happen to have that whole channel. And I can tell you, it explains so much because often when I'm around men, they act really, really strange. Especially in a group, if their wives are there, whatever. And on occasion in my life, I've been able to ask the guy, like, why are you acting weird around me? They're like, well, your energy, I mean, I love your energy, but like it's penetrating. I said, yeah, it's if they're conscious enough of what is happening. So it's a pretty common channel, the mating channel. It's obviously one of the most sexual channels. And the interesting thing about this energy is it's got to be used correctly, right? Because the misuse of sexual energy can be problematic. Um, so that's just that's that's one of the channels. There's another channel, the 36 35. And people with this channel often are quite adventurous sexually. But then they feel their shadow is they feel guilty about it. And then they create all these crises in their life, because they're not honest about what they really want sexually. Um, um, and the thing is, there's so many different ways people can relate sexually human design bears this out. For example, the single definition person says things like, you know, I don't need you. I don't need you in a relationship. And they they don't. But if they want to have better relationships, they better learn how right? So that's where the split definition that's where we come in. It's like you might want to say I don't want to say that I don't I don't need you, but I want you. Right? Well, you might be I don't have your chart here. But I mean, that that could be the thing is with single definition, they mean it, they don't need people the way the other definitions do. However, in order for them to fulfill their purpose and further their goals, it's really helpful if they know what type of person they're dealing with. If they're dealing with a split definition saying to them, I don't need you is quite distressing. Because for a split definition, they they do need one another. Right? Like I know I need people or else I mean, I need a lot of solitude, but I need a lot of people. Um, so anyway, where I forgot where I was going with that, but it doesn't matter. We were talking about the different sexuality. Yeah, right. Oh, different sexual. Thank you. My my my memories always been this way. So don't you have to like ask me it's in there. So yeah, the different sexuality. So here's the thing you can have the interesting thing about I was thinking about this in terms of say something like gay marriage, when the fact of the matter is, you should be able to do whatever you want. If you want to have three wives or four husbands, or your polyamorous, and you want to live in a group house, you know what you want to be monogamous and spend the rest of your life with someone like whatever you want to do. However, for it to work, you have to be an integrity with yourself. And you have to be an integrity with the other. And this is why many times people fail. It's because of the conditioning around sexuality, where first, especially in having grown up, you know, us being born and raised in the United States. There's so much conditioning where, you know, you're told, oh, my God, sex STDs, you know, you think you have sex, you're going to instantly just, you know, I don't know, be covered in a rash and drop dead. Right. So I'm a big fan of safe sex and, you know, be mindful, right. And yet there's all this paranoia that's been created around the body. And a lot of the advertising is very sexual. And then you have mostly men, far less women, but there are some women addicted to porn, which desensitizes you, it completely messes with your brain, it like fries your brain, just like scrolling all day on social media does. And there's all these mixed messages. And so what happens is you wind up with hundreds of millions of people who are disconnected from their internal bodily sensations. And without a deep connection to your internal bodily sensations, it is quite challenging to enjoy sex. You add to it layers of body shame or feeling sex is bad, you know, and not communicating as many people get into sex and not even communicate about their sexual history or anything as a way almost to escape. So at any rate, human design helps you clear a lot of this up because it helps you be correct. Like there's actually a 59, gate 59, line six. So every line of the hexagram, each gate is a hexagram and has six lines. And whatever line you have with the hexagram is going to change its flavor. So we can use, let's use the gate of sex, shall we? We use gate 59. So gate 59 line one is the person that has to initiate. They're the one that has to, even if you're female, you need to like ask the other person out. And then you have, or at least be somehow giving the initiatory signal. I have gate 59 line two, which is shyness. Now I don't think anyone has ever described me as shy. And yet the truth is around men I'm attracted to, I become really uncomfortable and shy. And I'm sure it gets misread all the time, but it's right there in my genetics. And what my 59 line two says, as I get a way for someone to approach, then you have like, I've tried to make the approach and it always goes sideways. You know, I thought, oh, I'm being proactive. No, I'm being incorrect. Line three, 59 line three is intimacy. So that's people have a natural affinity for intimacy. Line four is friendship. They need to be friends first before they go into sex. Line five, they need to be seductive. And line six, it's like a reason to seize in a lifetime, a one night stand. Like the line six person could be married for 40 years, or they could have a succession of very intimate one night stands and never see the person again because of where they

37:37 *Deborah Kat * come from. They come from this ability to establish intimacy so quickly. So imagine how freeing this is for people to know what you have and what you don't. Just listening to you, you succinctly described several of the different patterns that we have around our connecting and around the way that we connect with each other and connect with ourselves. I want to pause and go back just a hair, because you were talking about feeling the sensations in our bodies and being disconnected. So I'm wondering for people who are listening who are excited and now want to be reconnected to their bodies, do you have a suggestion or something that they can try to help them get back into

38:36 *Baeth Davis * connection? You know, honestly, probably the best thing for men and women to start is masturbation without toys, because I threw all my toys away years ago. And I know this is like a, for some reason, it's a hot topic. But the reason I threw them all away is they destroy your sensitivity. I mean, unless you've never had an orgasm, by all means, go get yourself a vibrator and, you know, knock some out. But that can actually be taught unless someone has an actual physiological condition, which does happen and is very rare. I think exploring your own body without the use of mechanical means and without fantasy is where I would encourage most people to start. How present can you be to your body? And what many women find is their vagina is actually filled with pain points, especially if they've experienced sexual abuse or been raped. You know, they have a lot of trauma and trauma actually gets stored in the body. It's almost like the body clenches down on it. And for men, no porn, because that actually lowers your sperm count. It does all sorts of things. But for men, especially because they're more visual, I mean, their eyes are different. They're more forward-facing, the hunter eyes, if you want to get into it that way. But I think that what we've done is we've desensitized ourselves. So if a person isn't ready even to start touching themselves down there because of restrictions or religious codes or whatever, start a movement practice. Start with something like prenatal yoga, even if you're not pregnant. It's so gentle. Go to an ecstatic dance, a five rhythms dance or a soul motion dance or find ecstatic dance where you live. Attempt embodiment practices that are not too rigid, that are not too controlled, but allow for exploration. And that will very often open up and free the body to more pleasure. But for most people, to get their sensitivity even available to them, I think it's important to cut out all the things that are causing desensitization. Because a lot of people then have to ramp it up, right? Then they get piercings and they go for tattoos to get sensation. They tie themselves up. They spank each other for sensation. And all of that has its place when done consciously, when done joyfully. I don't have any morality around it other than be honest with one another and honor each other's safety. But a lot of what I see with people is that they actually don't know how to have an intimate heartfelt conversation verbally. They don't know how to actually use their body to communicate with. So their words are off, their thoughts are off, their motion is off. So I encourage people start where you're at. If you're hypersexual, how do you come to neutrality? And if you're out of touch with your sexuality or you shut it down for whatever reason, I mean, I've been in the process of rejuvenating my own body and sexuality because of issues I had with cancer. And I can trace the roots of that cancer all the way back to childhood and decisions I made about being female, decisions I made about my body. And I feel in large part I'm alive because of my connection to my sexuality, my life force, and wanting to keep that vibrant and knowing how important it is to prevent any further issues in my life physically, staying healthy. So I wouldn't make a prescriptive. It's such a personal, personal thing. However, if you learn your human design, you learn which genetics are active in you and which aren't, and where you're most susceptible to conditioning and where you're least susceptible conditioning from others, from the environment. Because while most of us are built to be in response to the environment, we need to filter it through our own body. So think about it for a minute. If someone is masturbating compulsively with a heavy duty jackhammer vibrator, they're actually damaging the nerves over time and desensitizing themselves. And then let's say they're going through huge, huge stress in their life. So they're masturbating more to try and discharge the energy. This is what happens whether it's with sex or alcohol or TV watching or workaholism or over talking, over sharing, whatever, whatever it is, none of that really provides relief. And what most medical studies and studies on meditation have shown is the ability to go inward and actually track your sensations through your body. Even like if you're feeling really angry, can you harness the anger and let your body fill with it and breathe it in and out, move it in and out so that you don't do harm to yourself and others. You actually transmute the energy. Now that's when we become great lovers, right? When we can transmute the energy in ourselves, we become masters of our own energy. And then we can tune into someone else's without a lot of words and help lead them into a greater relationship with their energy. And then you have, you're going to have some great sex usually. But we're coming into it like worn out, either over sexed or under sexed, right? Oversensitized, desensitized. And none of it's wrong. Like none of it's wrong. But I would just say to anyone listening to this, how can you heighten your sensitivity?

44:47 *Deborah Kat * Because that's what the world's lacking right now. People become so insensitive to one another because they're so dead to themselves. Yeah. And hearing you say that it also makes me think, because we're not connected to ourselves and as you know, going back to the beginning of our conversation, because we're not in communion, in connection with each other. And I'm curious, what would you say the most important part of connection and relationship is?

45:23 *Baeth Davis * Understanding. First, seeking to understand the other. And then understanding yourself. This is something that's happened for me really over the past year, because I had had enormous trauma in school being bullied when I was young. And years ago, a therapist said, you know, that's really your main issue. You need to deal with it. Well, I didn't really explore it further. I think I just stopped going to therapy. Like just stop going to therapy. And last year, I had a flare up of this aggressive cancer that was caused by the treatment for another cancer. I mean, it was nuts. But in the process, so much rage was like, like collective rage, tribal rage, like so much anger was, was moving through me. And then at a certain point I realized, oh, I've got to shift this or I'm going to die. Like the anger is just going to consume me. Like I'm going to be burned to the ground. And as I was able to really hear the people around me and allow them to support me, I realized that I had to, I had to get my nervous system balanced. And in this process now where I feel like human again, and I don't feel like people are like, you've changed. And I don't feel like people are like, you've changed. I'm like, I'm yeah, I'm not so angry, huh? Like, I don't have so much anger, like flow it flying around there. When I look at you, I know in my body that you are me in essence, in that we are all an expression of source energy. And we're, we're soul crystals that come right in here 88 days before we're born in utero, that begin the building of the body that will hold this soul. And so while you're not me technically, right, I'm not a narcissist who just thinks you're some extension of me, right, which is a different issue, but it actually stems from the same knowing, interestingly enough, which is that we're born knowing we're divine. And the real trauma is when we're not treated like we're a beautiful, lovable beings. That's really the root of most trauma is being given the message that you don't count or you're doing it wrong. And then especially a child, I mean, there's so little and vulnerable and adorable and you know, they're just, they're looking for guidance. So when I look at you, I'm aware that you're another expression of source. And so I'm very much wanting to create understanding with you. And if you're sharing, I really want to hear what you have to say, because you're an expression of source talking to me who's an expression of source. So what is source saying to me today? And that to me is what Namaste is about, right, is the divinity in me truly sees the divinity in you. Now imagine if we could bring this to all of our interactions. I'm not trying to get something from you because you and I are we. Here's another way that I think about it for people that, you know, can get a little heady. Source energy creates everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. It's all source. And what religion does is bifurcates it into good and evil, which completely fucks you up. It just completely messes you up because everything is good and bad, right? Everything's yin and yang, which isn't actually good and bad. There's no judgment. Yin is actually the feminine principle, right? Yang is the masculine principle. Yin is seen as the receptor for the plug. So the receptor is seen as negative, right, and the plug that goes in it is yang. Is that good or bad? No. But what happened in this process is the feminine was made bad in a patriarchal world, right? And we're all still really trying to recover from that. So source is this one consciousness. Who knows if this is actually the case, but it feels true to me. Source is, you know, some people call it God. It's this consciousness, and then it wants to keep evolving. That's why your safety and security is of little concern to source, right? That's why the only constant is change. There is no arriving spiritually and never, ever having any challenges because every time you rise, you have more difficulties. You rise new difficulties. It goes like that. Why? Because you're evolving. So we choose a soul, crystal. We come into a body. Human design shows us this. We choose a contract. We choose a genetic code, some of its past lives, some of its ancestral, to live out a contract on planet Earth, your life's purpose. Now, do you think the learning ever ends? No. And even when you die, this soul crystal, it takes three days to unwind and it goes back out into the field. So humans essentially are all alien consciousness now. We know this, right? You talk to most people. They're like, I'm not from here. I'm like, well, no one is. No human is. Join the club. Like, no. The amoeba wasn't. The amoeba is from outer. It's all from outer. Where do you think it came from? Like Earth is part of outer space and we're in outer space and you know, it's all one thing.

51:22 *Deborah Kat * And yet the illusion of separateness, which is the Maya, M-A-I-A, right? The Maya in the 3D, the Maya is the game. So if we can remember that we're basically talking to different expressions of oneness, it really changes how you relate to other people. It really changes how you relate to other people. So good. I am going to pause us there. We are getting to the end of our time together. And that's just such a beautiful place to, you know, to stop. And I'm just kidding. You know, I just want to let people know how they can have more of you in their space in their life.

52:10 *Baeth Davis * Oh, you're so sweet. You know, we, I need to have you come on my show too. Okay. I'm just want to say that for the record, because we have more to talk about and I have questions for you. We need like three hours for this conversation. I know. I'm like, ah, anyway. If you go to yourpurpose.com, which is my website, you can get a free chart, you know, and let us know if you came from, you know, Deborah's show. And that's what I'd recommend to people listening is get a chart, join our Facebook group. We do trainings in there. I'm back. I'm back at it. So almost every week, we do trainings in there. And then periodically we do a nine day training called the life purpose lab. It's completely free, which I highly recommend highly, highly, highly. I think I've done it twice now. And each time I walk away going, yeah, I mean, and I, I hope this wasn't too disjointed because there's so much to human design, you know, and I think the main thing is for people to develop self love and self acceptance. Because when you have that, you realize it's just a matter of respect and understanding others and understanding is the foundation that is the one D

53:34 *Deborah Kat * the shadow frequency of the first dimension is fear. And the way we overcome fear is through understanding deep understanding. Yeah, I just want to say, you know, I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but you were actually very inspirational in the creation of the better sex for couples summit. I was in the life purpose lab nine day thing. And there was a moment where I just got the full body. Yes. And just about the time I was getting the full body. Yes. You were like, and when you remember this, you said something along the lines of, as the manifesting generator, as a responder, you will feel and it might feel something like a full body experience or something like that. I was like, oh, okay. You know, because fortunately or unfortunately, when you get the downloads and you get to step into it, it is exhilarating and terrifying and everything in between. So I just want to thank my guests, Beth Davis, so very much. Again, you know, I highly recommend checking out the the purpose lab. I'm sorry, your purpose lab. It's the life purpose lab. The life purpose lab and her work. And if you, you know, by all means have this woman read your chart because it will, it will change your life. So on that note, life changing. Thank you so much for tuning in to the better sex podcast. And we look forward to having more conversations both with Beth and other amazing humans on how to have better sex and change the world. So please, if you want to support world change, please go ahead, like, subscribe, comment, wherever you get your podcast information from, and have a great rest of your day.