Have A Better Sex Life Through The Power Of Your Mind With Louis Brantmeyer
When it comes to sex, sometimes you need some help. You may be wondering how you can move towards better sex, or even how you can make your current sex life better. It's hard to say exactly what steps you should take in your personal search for improving your sex life without some guidance.
In today's episode of The Better Sex Podcast, we are joined by Louis Brantmeyer, an extraordinary business coach for heart-centered coaches, powerful creator, magical manifestor, eclectic philosopher, and devotee of growth, healing, love, and science fiction. He will talk about how can we properly use our desires and some tips to make our sex better.
Tune in now and Learn how to be comfortable in the dating world!
Highlights:
(01:59) Getting to know Louis More
(02:46) How he helped BrainJuice go national via Whole Foods & promoting the "woo that works"?
(08:21) Maximizing the use of Desires
(11:40) Meaning & Distinction of “Always on call, but we're not always on duty”
(18:57) The Path to Fulfillment
(21:41) Sexual Abundance Back to Patriarchal Rules and Regulations(Why it didn't work for Louis?)
(26:23 ) Aligning Mission and Purpose
( 27:55) What Is Co-empowered Alignment & Codependence?
(34:11) A Way You Could Do to Move Towards Better Sex
(41:02) Man & Woman: Whose Purpose Goes First?
Links:
Website: https://louisbrantmeyer.com/
LinkedIn: Louis Brantmeyer - CEO / Founder
Facebook: Louis Brantmeyer
Instagram: Louis Brantmeyer (@louisbrantmeyer)
Youtube: Louis Brantmeyer - CEO / Founder -
Things Mentioned::
(Audio Course) Your Wish Is Your Command
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender
A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume
The 45 Days to Awakening Challenge
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life
In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.
Unknown Speaker
Ah okay, where did you go now? All righty. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the better sex podcast, where we have an unfiltered conversations about sex and relationship, and how to do it better. My name is Tantra cat, and I am your shameless host. It is my mission to create better sex better lovers for a better world. So thank you so much for joining us. And please, if you find value in our time together, please like, subscribe and leave a comment. And better yet, if there's somebody who you think this conversation is going to support please, please pass it on. So today, I am so excited about my guest, Louis, Brent Meyer. He grew up a socially awkward, anxious, introverted, artistically diagnosed sci fi loving nerd. I mean, and he had to endure watching his father brutally physically and emotionally abused his mother. He grew up mostly broke, ignorant, blackout drunk, and arrogant atheist philosophy student turn teacher,
Unknown Speaker
really stick it to me. Don't I go ahead, sorry.
Unknown Speaker
What's a great way to start things out? But you know what? You have a very long and exciting bio. But you know, I think I'm just gonna skip right to how did you get here? I want to hear your story from you.
Unknown Speaker
Ah, honored. Delighted. Yeah. So 15 years of personal development, pain, suffering and deep commitment to building a business serving the world with my gifts. That's the short answer.
Unknown Speaker
Got it? Well, listen, there were a few things in the bio that I do want to ask about. Now that I was going back to that. So it sounds like you say you worked with a startup to bring Brain Juice to a national audience with the Whole Foods. And then you started promoting the Whoo, that works. Tell me about the whoo that works.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, so this is this is interesting stuff. I did the landmark forum in 2012. Sounds like you have to super cool or familiar at least. And I remember in the bathroom meeting a guy and he was like, obviously, yo, this brain supplement company is like I'm a CEO of a brain supplement company. Cool. So we started talking, connecting. Over the course of the next several months, we became friends. And he was launching this brain supplement energy shot. That whose purpose was to basically raise the mindfulness and consciousness and conscious awareness of the world through states of flow and states of high concentration. And I had just studied mysticism and meditation. And I was like, That's right there. I'm so already in for that. And he introduced me to, I always saw law of attraction was complete bullshit. I always thought that, you know, this metaphysical energy talk was just like, what if what is that that's not empirical, we can't point to it. That's not real. Not the same way that science likes to pair things down. So I started listening to an audio course called your wish, is your command. And I found it to be really insightful and intelligent and interesting. It was a little hokey in places, but I was like, guy, and I'll try this. And I started creating really crazy stuff. Really fun stuff, like winning tickets to a play, because I decided to in my imagination, or having the person who I visualized on my dashboard, I had a picture of this beautiful woman show up at that same play, and just a lot of interesting things. And I was like, okay, so I don't know why this is true, or how this works, but it seems like something's going on here. And I hung up my hat at about that level. I was like, it's probably some big mind game that makes things happen because of the subconscious or some shit like that. And, and I was like, Okay, maybe that's it. That's good. But as the years went on, I kept encountering through Sam He was my mentor and the CEO of Brain Juice, who took me on board as his account executive and eventually Operations Manager to put this product on the new store shelves and to get it made and produced and shipped out. He kept introducing me to more and more books, mentors, communities, conversations, that opened my mind to the possibility of like, okay, well, maybe there's more going on here. What is it? There's more than your saline eyes. There's more going on here than than what your saline eyes can show you to kind of, quote jars of clay. But yeah, I, I ended up it was like three years into my tenure at Brain Juice one or two to three years, the former CEO of the third largest real estate company in the world, Mark Willis of Keller, Keller Williams, handed each of us copies of letting go the pathway to surrender by David Hawkins, MD, PhD, and I was like, okay, he was like, Yeah, this is a big part of why I'm so successful is emotional and spiritual intelligence. And I was like, okay, and I continue to resist emotional intelligence for another couple years, I continue to resist spiritual intelligence for a couple of years, until finally I had onboarded at all. And I was like, You know what, the whoo that works energy, empathy, emotion, embodiment, intuition. Spirituality, seems to be the thing that is most impactful for fulfillment and performance, whether in the bedroom or out. And it's not being taught in schools. It's not being taught in the mainstream of personal development, and really, in the most rigorous way. And so I started putting my weight, my energy, my attention behind finding ways to embody it myself and to support organizations to teach it. So that's kind of my journey with the Whoo, I'm the purveyor of the Whoo, that works now. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker
I like that. I like that. So I'm just going back what you were to what you were saying a moment ago. For you the whoo that works, is the
Unknown Speaker
you is seeing and perceiving life with an emphasis on energy. Empathy, like an open heart, emotion, like feeling our feelings, embodiment, like realizing we have this thing called a body, I'm not just a brain taxi, or a brain or a mind in a vat, or whatever. And intuition and spirituality. Like there's, there's a faculty that we have access to that can guide us great and guide us straight. If we honor it, and listen to it, whether it's a feeling in the gut or shivers up the spine, or a voice or an image or a feeling or whatever. And then spirituality, which that's where it becomes real interesting is like, what is spirituality? How do you know when someone's spiritual or conscious enough or whatever. And, you know, it's A Course in Miracles to like the channeled works of Seth, and I'm not here to judge or to discern what that even means. But it's like, we're more than physical. And there's some way of tapping into or being in relationship with that, that that actually provides more fulfillment than anything on earth can is the argument from my best spiritual teachers that I'm still finding my way there. Personally, I read A Course in Miracles, the workbook recently, and one of the things they said was like, you know that every every one of your desires on Earth is a lie. And I was like, ah, not not sure about that. I think my desires are real, like, like, it's all a trap. It's a deception. It's made up by the ego to keep us trapped, rather than being in love and being fully satisfied in every moment on our divine path. And I see both sides. But when it comes to sex, though, which I'm sure we'll get to, it's really interesting conversation. Because like those who are fully embodied with their intuition, God guides their hands, so to speak, in making just the right moves, and just the right words and expression that their partner wants, without having to think consciously about it or figure it out. I've had this experience, at least once, through WhatsApp with a woman from Costa Rica. We, we were just engaging and I started to anticipate her fantasies as we were having text sex, and to tell her exactly what I wanted. That was also what she wanted it she was like, this is the strangest, the coolest thing ever. And it was like, energy sex, but my mentor at the time, he was like, Dude, your tickets at 4000 miles long, you should find somebody who's actually at Austin, this is during the pandemic. Anyway, I took a turn there. I don't know if you want to follow all that. But
Unknown Speaker
of course, I want to follow all of that. In fact, I want to back up just a hair. You. You said in reading A Course of Miracles. It said that your desires are all I can't remember exactly what the word was. But Bush It was kind of what I walked away with. So your desires are not accurate is essentially what they were saying. And, and I don't want to go down that rabbit hole so much as I'm curious how you use desire.
Unknown Speaker
Good question. Desire for me is the very reason for being in life as a separate being. So we're amphibious beings, we are capable of experiencing profound states of unity and communion with divinity is documented, you look at the work of James Martin and the finders community, or the 45 days to Awakening program, or the massive body of research gathered, gathered over 15 years. And like, that's unquestionable. But we're also here for a reason. And all, I believe that all things happen for a reason. And all things work for good. So if we're here, as separate beings, we're here to work for good. We're here to, to experience being here for a reason. And part of that is discovering within ourselves what desires are, so to speak, God or source breathed those desires. And I know, I don't know if we both share a background and one taste, but like Big D, and little D desires, right was put it so like, I believe that a lot of the big deep desires literally are dharmic, they come from God, they come from source like I'm here to make a huge difference and help souls to heal and see God again, or some shit, like like that. Whereas, and the, my spiritual teacher gave me this beautiful concept. He said, we're always on call, but we're not always on duty. So we're on call to live our purpose to be here to do, we're here to do. But we're not always on duty, meaning we're not always going to actively moment by moment necessarily have to devote ourselves consciously, to living that purpose. Some sometimes, we're here on earth school to play with earth tools, and our Earth toys occurred according to Earth rules, some of those toys are sacks, you know, having a body Money, power. You know, it's, it's, we're not here not to play with those things, which indirect way of saying we are here to play with those things. And it's okay to have things. Honest, those things don't have us some ego, or a partner, or sex, so long as those things don't have us and keep us from our full expression of purpose. So does that give you what you're looking for.
Unknown Speaker
So just to go back just a second. So you mentioned big D, and little D, big desires, and little D desires. And then I feel like you you really hit the big D desires, you know, the purpose this the I love that. So always on call, not on duty. So hearing, when you say that meaning like always on call, meaning that you are open to inspiration, or you know, downloads or however you want to turn that, but you don't always have to act on each and every one of them. Would that be kind of accurate to what you were trying to communicate their
Unknown Speaker
lows, it's kind of the inverse Mike, things will always work out better in the long run in the in the grand beautiful scheme of things in that if I see that I'm just a color or I am playing a part, I have the opportunity to surrender into a role that isn't being written by my ego. And will not be exactly the same as whatever my ego happens to want, like burps and farts, or giggles and sex and whatever in the moment. So the ideal, anything less than your highest choice to self sabotage. So the ideal is if your heart is telling you to do something, do it if your dharma is to do something, do it. I've seen people get sick and injuries and illnesses because they're resisting their purpose. And they're coming up with subconscious excuses for dragging their shit around lymphatic constipation and all kinds of stuff so that they can avoid those big deep desires, the dharmic right so little D desires can be a place that people go to kill off that higher expression of themselves. And the distinction of you're always on call, but you're not always on duty means you're always available. We are here to always be available for the promptings of intuition to tell us what to do moment by moment. But we're not always going to be told what to do moment by moment. So we're free. Is great so to speak free period, deer, like, I was just thinking today, I think my friend's list is at 1000 People who he regularly impacts and growing that on a regular basis doing live events there to 300 people sometimes, like every so often. And he lived life and is isn't enjoying what he's there to do. But he's always listening for and doing what he's told to do to the best of his ability. Does that make sense? It does.
Unknown Speaker
It does. And definitely attention we could go deeper into. But I want to, I want to read us both good to hear of because I love we were talking just a moment before we jumped on together about codependency and interdependency. And I'd love to hear that. As well as this idea that like, everything is sex, and everything is foreplay. And when it comes down to it, you know, better sex and better life is about CO empowerment, and really making agreements that that worked for both of us, or all of us, if you will. So, so yeah, so I'm wondering if you can, if you can jump in and speak to that a little bit.
Unknown Speaker
Absolutely, thanks. Thanks for playing around all that. So growing up autistic, meant that and without realizing it right and cancel clear on it. I don't identify with the diagnosis anymore. But I do have a certain type of brain. Right. So diseases don't exist, but symptoms do. Diseases are made up diseases are useful places where people go to resist their purpose and suffer in order to get attention to try to prove they're worthy of love. So like, the experience that I had was of not understanding how to create love, intimacy or sex. Like I was socially awkward, anxious, introverted, as the Bible says. And after 15 years of like, chipping away at the stuff stored in my nervous system at the belief stored in my brain, and building skills. I became I had this period where I went from clueless to Casanova to then conscious, where it was like, Okay, so can suppressed to x breast to then overexpressed, and realizing, oh, hold up, DJ turntable, stop, like, Okay, I need to actually think this through and feel into what's my highest alignment and choice, which is what I mean by consciousness, sex. So like.
Unknown Speaker
So when I say that, I imagine what happened for you was you were not very engaged or able to connect with women, all of a sudden, you had lots of connection with women, and it was like, Holy shit, this is awesome. And then at a certain point, awesome was like, Well, maybe not quite awesome. But there's a lot of, you know, what I'm told I'm supposed to want and supposed to get. And then you stepped into a place where you were sorting for what was more for you versus you know, going after what your what you think you're supposed to want insects and in connection which, you know, for some for some people, specifically men can be lots and lots of women and lots and lots of different positions. And you know, whether whether they actually get to bring their whole selves there or not, is a whole nother story. So so when I hear you say that I'm like, oh, and and and what are you looking for now?
Unknown Speaker
Great question. So for me, there's started to arise this idea that I have a nature or a path of least resistance of flow that is uniquely mine, that when I honor it, I am more fulfilled, and the sex is actually better. And if I don't honor it, well, it's like a dog returning to its vomit or chasing its tail. It's like it goes nowhere. And it's like, I always like to say the Casanova was a great place to live but a terrible cul de sac to get stuck in. Or a great place to visit terrible place to live. Yeah, there it is. It's a cul de sac because he's chasing tail and you eventually realize you're chasing just your own tail. So like unregulated enthusiastic pursuit of hedonism, like I think pleasure is nice and sex is good for you. I think that was the the writers of the ethical slot. Great, great book. Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you like yeah, okay, great. I 100% agree and Daniel Amon sex in the brain, he says Those who have more sex more often live longer, healthier, happier lives. Now assuming that it's quality sex, I think the study had to have been assuming it's quality sex. But um, yeah, I started to look at like, why this is 2015 I was I had all these Tinder matches and dates, and then I'd hook up and then I'd open my heart and then I'd have my heart broke, because they would go just because for them, it was not serious for me. I had a tendency to crave and to share deep intimacy even early on, and not realizing that what I most wanted was a relationship underneath all the sort of player chaotic lifestyle on site. It's difficult, from a space of sexual abundance, to return to mainstream patriarchal driven programming, to the to the this generally piss poor restrictions of monogamous marriages that end and 60% divorce, for example, without even a space for sexual exploration or articulation beyond your primary partner. I've never met any one human being who's only attracted to who's only ever been attracted to one other human being. Like it's in our biology that we're all attracted to more than one person or type of person. So I knew that my heart I like to say my my heart is deeply monogamous. My cock is deeply polyamorous. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker
I love what you just said about going from sexual abundance back to patriarchal rules and regulations and how that just doesn't. That didn't work for you.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, I tried. So it was funny. What cued me into the realization that I needed to operate with more consciousness and alignment and awareness and sexuality was, I got to the point where I was working maybe five hours a week at Brain Juice, and I started to make errors. I started to like, deprioritize, my job over chasing X, and I was in a men's group, with a really great communicative thread with one taste here in Austin. And there were no clean, clear indications of hey, you should pursue your purpose. And that's actually healthier for you. And the sex will come easier if you're pursuing your purpose. Above all, if you're in alignment with yourself, if you're doing what's best for you. I distinctly remember a day where I had sex with three different women in the same day. And it was like, okay, great, that was fun. That felt good. And then I was fired from Brain Juice, because I had allowed my attention and my energy and my input to drift so far off, they said, alright, we see you don't really love and adore or find resonance, or your purpose and living here, or being here. So you got 30 days to create an opportunity to be somewhere else or a new position here, because it was a really flexible startup. And I didn't, I couldn't think of anything else to do. So I was like, you know, what, I desire to share my expertise is a dating and relationship coach. And it's a far cry from helping people to complete the internal work to have their next relationship be their best and their last of their life that I'm doing now. We didn't make it easy. Like back then it was it was a mix of like authenticity based seduction and dating and relationship training with like, NLP and stuff. And I was I was half baked, I was half baked wise, I was half baked in terms of skills. I had helped some people I'd mostly helped myself and I was like, I think I can help some people. So um, you know, my journey went into falling on my face in business and then realizing, Oh, if I aligned with my purpose and my prosperity that will actually magnetize better partners and better quality of sex. So I started aligned with this expression of my nature as a blaze genius. I love people as a supporter, I love opening my heart as an eighth of hearts and Egyptian astrology I can nuke people with affection and attention, but it can blow blow up on me if I do that to the wrong person who then ghosts me. So I started to learn myself and gain self awareness and self mastery. And so that the sex increased in quality, if not in quantity, like I went from, like 12 Plus partners per year, whatever, to like, one new partner per year for the past like five years, one or two. And what am I looking for? Now? I remember your question I wasn't dancing around it is context. What I'm choosing to create now as there is a woman who I love, who I am standing in the possibility of deep aligned, nourishing, connection, reconciliation, intimacy, even partnership if source wills and is aligned with it. And then I've also got my primary partner in polyamory, who I currently deeply love. And I'm also open for business to a certain extent when it comes to like adventure. As with other partners or other people, like I go out on dates and I talk to other people. And there are edges of practice for me like what I'm looking for for myself is pretty rigorous. Like semen retention, multiple orgasms, non ejaculatory orgasms limbic resonance through orgasmic meditation to where I can feel their pleasure without having to come in a traditional male way. Like all of it, I think would serve my purpose and my business, and my life and my sex. So these are like, directions I have. And I'm also inventing the possibility of a new, thin, hot, redheaded sex partner, which the past couple years have been able to manifest within a day or two, if I put real strong attention on to it. So yeah, anyway, gives you the answer you're looking for?
Unknown Speaker
Well, I mean, it's certainly I certainly get an idea of where you're at and what it is you're looking for. But I want to come back again to this idea of when you align with your mission and your purpose, that for you, everything else follows and it follows easy and it follows in flow, and how doing that for yourself, helps to create more experience for those around you.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, great example. There are two two things to say about that one, the feminine polarity. So if you're in the masculine polarity, you're in pursuit of your purpose, your dharma and we all have it inside of us. It varies depending on what side of the spectrum we're on. So I'm a masculine polarity person. So when I allow myself to express from that part of my nature, when I do my purpose and go in the direction of that, that is Mack intrinsically magnetic and attractive. Women have walked up to me at events in in situations, because of the energy, the frequency, the alignment that I was carrying. And it was easier to relate to them because I didn't get all codependent hooked into like, oh, I need your attention or your approval or hunger for something that I think you have this going to make me feel better about myself. Like no, I don't need any of that shit. Now there are I'm not gonna say there aren't moments where it'll still have triggers of codependence rather than acting from CO empowered alignment. Well, there Hang on
Unknown Speaker
just a second. Sure. CO aligned. What What was that
Unknown Speaker
phrase? CO empowered alignment? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker
We're gonna pause for a second you're gonna tell me what that is.
Unknown Speaker
Okay, so if you'll permit it's, it's going to take a circle real quick.
Unknown Speaker
I'm on the ride. Okay, cool. Cool.
Unknown Speaker
CO empowerment is what's left in the absence of codependence which means what is codependence codependence is when you think when I think when anyone thinks and operates from belief that their abundance, their love, their fulfillment or their power anything depend their happiness depends on anything outside of them. Because it doesn't, it appears without though it is within we tuned to it within ourselves we can receive it regardless of whether a partner shows up to give it to us. And sex is this love is this abundance is this abuse is this to like love comes from people. Excuse me, love doesn't come from people it comes through people when we tune to it, it appears without though it is within so does abundance so does good sex, so does abuse if somebody's tuned to that and carrying that around. They are magnetizing they're attracting the experience of that she's not to gaslit anybody who's like have an abusive partner like if you're with an abusive partner, we'll step out of the fucking relationship. Right? But it is to say that there's a way out the way out of any external circumstance that we're experiencing is is in the way out is through what is within man. Excuse me, Carl Jung said the outer world will rule our lives and we will call it fate until we make the subconscious conscious and deal with what's there. Because we don't attract what we want we attract what we are we attract who we are. So co empowerment is that state of giving it all to yourself first finding it all in yourself first so that you're not clinging, grabbing, clutching attached to resisting not receiving it from outside. Does that make sense?
Unknown Speaker
It does make sense and it really like so it completely resonates right in this moment because I just got off of a coaching session with a couple who it was so fascinating because you know their patterns came together perfectly, you know, his pattern of, I mean, for just simplistic sense, his pattern of, of moving away brought her pattern of moving towards and, and it's just, you know, they're they're, they're, they're, they're bumping off of each other. And what I was trying to direct them to at the, in the session was essentially what you're talking about is, you know, how do you allow yourself to have the thing that you really need and really want and have that internally so that as you are, you know, connected externally, what you are drawing in is, you know, the, the, the piece that feeds you instead of the piece that becomes codependent and the cycle just because the worst thing about that cycle is like these two people love and care and want to share their lives together, and, and do beautiful things together. Like I've actually seen them, like, just unwind and, and come together, like I've seen them like in a big hole not together. And then I've seen them when they're able to sit side by side and reach out to each other. And it's so different. And I just, you know, as you were talking, I was like, Ah, yes, I know that. Um, but and it is really that that winding back and that giving yourself the piece that you need, like you know, the partner who is pursuing for connection, like they're so disconnected from their selves, and the partner that is running, you know, they they need space, but they're they have no way to turn around and say to their partner, like, Hey, I just need you over there. Like I can connect with you, but I want to connect with you over there. You know, so anyway, that yeah,
Unknown Speaker
magnificent. I've been there. I've done that I've inhabited those patterns, like, you know, and I know the heartache and the heartbreak of being in a space of like, nourished, connected, aligned with somebody and creating beautiful things, but also having moments of excruciating, horrifying, just conflict and codependence and, hey, I need you to show up in a certain way and you're not so I'm going to yell and be yelled at and you just made it gave me a key to your house and now you're kicking me out because I'm upset and yeah, it's, I will say this, I've been through many, all of my wisdom, whatever wisdom I have in relationships, and all everything is foreplay, by the way. So like, any any good we any good we do for someone in the realm of relationship gives them a space as a prelude to sex. Because foreplay doesn't start 10 minutes before it starts 10 years before. That's 10 hours before 1010 weeks before like if there's a waxy buildup of conflict and chaos and codependence. I mean sure that there can be like the spontaneous quickie of like, I hate you so much. I'm gonna throw you against the wall, we're gonna fucker some shit. But then there's like, the real depth of heart open, completely nourishing, feeling safe. All of that. And yeah, I saw you had a lot. Go ahead.
Unknown Speaker
Well, no, I just occurred to me that like, as you're so what I heard you say was that, like, all of your wisdom is, is life based hard won wisdom. And I'm wondering if you could you know, in the service of better sex. If you could suggest, like, what would be one small or large or, or, you know, what would be one change or thing that someone could do to move towards better sex?
Unknown Speaker
Oh my gosh. So the thing that will serve the most people is to release all judgment on yourself and your partner. There's nothing worthy of judgment and there's no one worthy of judgment. There are things worthy of discernment, which is a little different than making someone right or wrong. Discernment is like what works for me or doesn't work given what I'm committed to, like? Anal might not work for people for certain people, or certain positions or whatever, or certain desires might work or not work, but judging like cutting it off at the past and saying there's something wrong with someone for having it or something wrong with me for experiencing a desire like that. We need more sexual freedom as a species as a civilization and more conversation with Our judgment around it.
Unknown Speaker
And do you have something that you that you do or suggest to people to help them? Release judgment?
Unknown Speaker
A couple things. One is the whole pono pono. Which I have a very particular version of it that I should totally turn into a lead magnet. Just, I'm always thinking from a business perspective, but the basic idea, and I'll just give it to your people right now is, you know, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and I love you. But really, it's not just the practice of like, looking at yourself, like imagining your inner child and you've been speaking mainly to that child, like, you're bad and wrong for wanting a threesome? Well, no, I'm sorry for judging you for that. Please forgive me, thank you, I love you, or your partner, hey, I'm sorry, in a conversation, I'm sorry for judging you for that. The deeper level two, that is that we've been judging lots of people for that same thing. And the reason we've been judging them is to try to prove that we're not good enough, or I'm not, we're not capable, or that there's something wrong with us or whatever. Because whatever we're judging out here, we're actually also judging in inside, it appears without though it is within. So if we can release all judgment on our expression within, then we generally speaking, won't receive as much judgment from without, we'll still get people who disagree with us, or believe different things or whatever. But we won't experience that sting. And then there's a card game. You can find it at games for humanity.com. It's called let's talk about sex. And it's really beautiful. I've used it in workshops for years, as a means to create a space for people to just express their sexual desires in a context of freedom, safety, comfort, and ease. So my top two
Unknown Speaker
Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah, this, this has been such a hot conversation. Thank you so much for your time. And I just have to ask three closing questions. Usually only ask one but you know, we're gonna go with three. So first, what would you what would you tell men about women? Or what would you tell masculine oriented folks about the feminine?
Unknown Speaker
They want to feel you and it's okay to feel your feelings with them. And in fact, they fucking love it. And any ounce of your feeling that you can allow yourself to feel with them or for them or with yourself around them? Do that because it deepens intimacy to a degree that any amount of like thinking shit through or tactics or techniques or crafting an expression won't. We're fundamentally feeling beings we feel first we think second evolutionarily Yeah,
Unknown Speaker
so good. So question number two, what would you tell feminine beings about the masculine what do we need to know?
Unknown Speaker
Mmm hmm. We're not all narcissistic assholes. Just kidding, cancel clear. I'm looking for a good joke here. And I'm not finding it. The men are looking to be supported in alignment with their their highest expression, if it's a man worth pursuing, right, and, like, the worst thing a woman or feminine polarized person, or being can be stuck with is the experience of being stuck behind a parked car. I think it was Les Brown, who described a man without a purpose or a masculine oriented without like something that is more important. I think I'll just quote The Way of the Superior Man for women like women, you were never men's purpose and you never will be. But if you understand that and accept that and support a man in that you will be right there up there next on his list. And that that order of things seem it feels really aligned to me it feels really nourishing it feels really cool empowered, because then the man isn't looking for his women are a woman speaking from Bali there for a moment to fill a void or to make up for some ego wound. The man is sharing from a place of fullness. So I guess to women look for a man like that who's already full of His purpose and is filling himself up more and more with his purpose. And except not like through resignation. Like it's not like a surrender to a horrible reality. But accept like hey, his His by being a masculine polarity being, he's going to aim at that masculine expression, which is purpose, which is action and activity, which is like conquering and serving and giving his gifts. So did that land?
Unknown Speaker
I mean, I definitely have some thoughts about that. But like, you know, I, I think that um what am I want to say? It's, it's, it's just such an interesting thing around like, purpose, right? And and that being the masculine, the masculine pole because I think there's a lot of people in feminine bodies that have a really solid purpose. And so then you kind of get into this whole thing around around like, whose purpose goes first and all that good stuff?
Unknown Speaker
Oh, easy answer both. I'm not here to sacrifice a single shred of my purpose for the sake of codependent ly contorting to have some woman be in my life or some person to be in my in my world? And I think so the sub question is like, what does it look like inside of the masculine feminine polarity inside of a person because we both we all want intimacy, according to the traditional and we all want purpose, I'll never forget Dave burns, saying, you know, you give yourself fully to each each side of this polarity and it gives you the skill of being able to practice and play on the other side. So if I give the extent to which I'm giving myself fully to purpose means I'm more skilled and giving myself to intimacy, when the moment comes, that intimacy is my purpose. And yet, if we two halves don't make a whole two halves make a hell. So like, we can either both look towards our purpose and God and be walking hand in hand, or we can look towards each other, and think that we're going to find something there that we never will.
Unknown Speaker
When I hear you say, and I'm thank you for the clarification. His what what I often hear in the discussion around like, men and purpose is that and women being not, you know, not not first, but like next, you know, after purpose is that there's, there's an implicit thing about how at least this is, again, my totally my thing here. But it's like, the implicit thing I hear then is that I'm supposed to get on board and support the purpose, whether it's mine or not.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, I get that, I get that. And so there are a bunch of different ways of cashing this out. Like, my dear friend, his purpose is to bring self sustainable eco villages across the planet. And his wife has supported him in that in many years. And she's also inside herself done evolutions along is she more feminine polarized in relation to him inside of the flow of his purpose in the wake of his purpose? Or is she in herself, depending on the season and the time, more masculine, polarize to living her unique purpose, and there's room for all in both, I think, with any strongly masculine ly polarized man, that part of the spectrum that a woman is going to have to accept is that he's going a direction and it's with or without me, and I can accept it and support him in it, or I can try to fight against it or try to detract from it the same for a woman. I'm not here to tell a woman not to put her man over her purpose. And for some women, their purpose is to have babies and to create a family, like so it becomes even subtler at that point, right? Like, I'm here to support a woman, the feminine polarity in her highest unique specific expression, which is where tools like wealth dynamics, or human design or love cards with Egyptian astrology, come into play, because you can start to chart someone's unique destiny, their karma, their dharma, and help guide them into an awareness of like, This is who you really are. And let's help the full flowering blooming blossoming of that. And maybe you do that by serving me and my purpose and organization to a certain extent, maybe you don't, I was just witnessing a female coach. She was like her husband invited him her to fitness coach with him. And she's like, Yeah, that doesn't resonate with me. And I stand full on behind that, because it doesn't support doesn't have to look like you're you're making the food and baking the baby or I love how that came out.
Unknown Speaker
You know, so thank you so much for that clarification, and I am so grateful for your time today. So I just want to third question. How can we Find out more about you and where do we look and there will be links down in the show notes, but I love it. I just love to hear people talk about where to find them.
Unknown Speaker
Oh my gosh, I'm so delighted I'm on Facebook, Instagram. I'm gonna be on Tik Tok soon, Louis. Brant Meyer Liu is b r a n t me ye AR RT German last name all one word. And I'm the young one. There's another one that's old. That's, that's my dad on Facebook. That's where I like to play the most agreements, all lowercase? Yeah, it's cute. It's cute. He sends me memes all the time. On Instagram, it's Louis M Brammeier, which is, there used to be another version of me that you can find. It's not that one. That account was just long story. But Louis M Brammeier. I'm starting to play a little bit on Instagram too. And if you want to schedule a call with me, it's bi T dot L y forward slash make love. So easy. all lowercase. So that's it? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker
I love that make web so easy. Not just easy, but so easy. But anyway, thank you so much for this incredibly fun conversation. I love that we went to all these different places, as you saying life is foreplay, and sex. And there's so many different ways to do it. And let's all do it just a little bit better. Thank you so very much for joining us today on the better sex podcast. And I look forward to new and loving conversations. So go ahead and subscribe so you know when we're coming out next, and I look forward to more unfiltered conversations.