The Power of Variations: Exploring Different Strokes, Speeds, and Positions for Better Sex

In this episode I talk with Sex Coach, Will Tantra about the practice of Tantra and its impact on enhancing pleasure and intimacy in relationships. Hear about Will’s personal journey in the field of sex coaching and the benefits of practicing edging and energywork during masturbation.  We also talk about how to create a masturbation practice to prepare for partnered sex, the role of breath, sound, and movement in experiencing touch and the role porn plays in sexual fantasy.  Along the way, Will shares about the need for comprehensive sex education for women as well as men, optimizing pleasure and meditation as a part of sexual practice.  Don't miss this enlightening conversation on sexual empowerment and embracing pleasure.

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In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.

Deborah [00:00:02]:

All right, let's see here. All righty. Welcome to the better sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat, and I am your shameless host. This is the Better Sex Podcast, where we have unfiltered conversations about sex and relationships. This show is about the many possibilities of sex and relationships and helping you figure out what works for you so that you can have better sex on your terms. I truly believe that a sexy world is a happier and a safer world. If you want to do your part in creating a sexy, safer world, please hit like subscribe and leave a comment wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, my goodness. Today I am so excited we are going to dive into the world of my guest, Will Tantra. He is a sex and intimacy coach living in Los Angeles. He is also a naked yoga instructor and a massage therapist. He teaches mainly through video and at Tantra retreats and festivals around the world. Will is known for his practical approach to intimacy education and for providing men with easy to follow routines and rituals designed to teach them how to give and receive more pleasure. Teaching men how to exercise their bodies and masturbate in a way that prepares them for partnered sex is one of Will's favorite lessons. I am ridiculously excited to have this conversation with you. I know we've been waiting a bit to connect here, so I'm so curious, like, how did you get here? What's your story?

Will Tantra [00:02:16]:

Hi, Deborah. I'm so happy to be here, and it's great to see your smiling face. Thank you for having me. I was born and raised in Boulder, Colorado, and I had a very traditional upbringing. My family stayed together. It was kind of a white picket fence type, middle class upbringing, and I was an athlete. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of intimate relationships, girlfriends or boyfriends. I didn't come out of the closet until college. And after a brief corporate career, I decided to really follow my passion, which was teaching about the physical body. And so I got into personal training and teaching Pilates and yoga, and then I got into doing massage therapy. And the more I started to work with people, the more I became aware of the power of sexual energy. And I wanted to work with it, but I was also afraid of it because of what are people going to think, what are my parents going to think, what are my Republican relatives going to think? You know, all that sort of thing. So it took a few years of letting go of layers and vulnerability, but after a while, I just started doing erotic massage, and that really was uplifting to me and felt really true to my heart as far as one of my gifts to the world. And I wanted to make it even more sexual. But again, worried about if I'm an escort, will I ever get a date? Again, will I get disowned. So I decided to try it in another city, which I did. So I traveled to a city for a few weeks and did massage and sex work. And at that point, I was starting to teach Tantra, and I really just started to see how everything blended so beautifully together. And it made me happy and was the type of work where I was like, oh my God, this is literally what I came here to Earth to do. So without hesitation, went home, put my ad up, announced to everybody, I'm doing sex work. I'm doing Tantra coaching and erotic massage and haven't looked back. It's been a beautiful journey ever since.

Deborah [00:04:58]:

I love hearing that.

Will Tantra [00:05:00]:

Thank you.

Deborah [00:05:01]:

I love hearing that this is your passion and how even just the way you share that the transmission is so clear. I do have a quick question about what it's like for you as a sex worker and how that's changed your dating life and your relational life.

Will Tantra [00:05:23]:

Yes, interestingly enough, and this philosophy or spiritual approach kind of goes for everything in my life. Any sort of issues or problems or communication issues I have with either a family member or a friend or a dating partner, it's usually because there's conflict in my own head about what I'm doing. And once I made the decision that this is me, this is who I am, this is what I love, these are my passions, then everybody who didn't align with that just kind of naturally drifted away. And then everybody who is rooting me on and wants to co create with me and wants to engage at the level of my authenticity attracts. So it really was not a problem. All the worry I had was for nothing because once I found my own authenticity and was true to myself, then the people that resonated with that come to me.

Deborah [00:06:35]:

So good and so very well put. I love it. So you find your authenticity, those that doesn't resonate with go in other directions. Those that do resonate are attracted to you.

Will Tantra [00:06:51]:

Exactly. It's literally like my thoughts and my feelings create a vibration not unlike a radio frequency, and my vibration and that radio frequency attracts other people who are vibrating at the same wavelength. And so it's just a natural result of law of attraction. And it's been a beautiful thing. And as far as my family goes, it's been a gradual thing, kind of baby steps, but everybody's kind of coming along, and I haven't had any major backlash. And I feel very fortunate about that because I know that is not the case with a lot of sex workers.

Deborah [00:07:37]:

Yeah, absolutely. Hearing you say that, I am curious. So I want to go back to the radio frequency for just a second. One of my energy teachers talks about how we all have our own frequency, and oftentimes we sort of distort it or have come in with a different frequency one that we feel like might be easier to hear or more palatable. And so I'm kind of curious, as you were letting go of the things that didn't align, how did you do that? We often hear people talk about being more in alignment, but how did you.

Will Tantra [00:08:31]:

Get more in alignment through meditation and daily meditation? When I first was introduced to meditation, I was like everybody else, oh, my mind is too busy. I really have a lot of crazy thoughts. Meditation is not for me. I'm super active and I don't like to sit still like that. I had all of those excuses, but once I started to resonate with the message of the law of attraction and vibration and our frequency, then it came very clear to me. What I'm tuning my frequency to while I'm meditating is that of my soul, that of my inner being. And once I'm tuned to that frequency, then all of those messages are available to me that guide me step by step on how to live the life that will be most joyful and satisfying. So to answer your question, meditation, daily meditation, it's my anchor of the day and that's what helps me tune my frequency to my inner being. And then I get downloads of creative ideas and messages just kind of throughout the day, not necessarily right then when I'm meditating, but I bring myself to that uplifted place and that's where the messages are beautiful.

Deborah [00:09:51]:

And how does the body work into your meditation?

Will Tantra [00:09:57]:

How does my physical body work?

Deborah [00:10:00]:

So I guess what I'm thinking is that most of us, when we think about meditation, it's as you said, sitting still, and it is much more of a mind experience. But I suspect because you're so body centered, that there is a physical piece to the meditation. Is that accurate?

Will Tantra [00:10:23]:

I'm glad you asked that. And this is an important clarification. My main meditation every morning is perfectly silent and perfectly still. So I'm seated, I'm breathing, I'm clearing my mind. As the thoughts come, I just sort of see them go by as a parade. I try not to attach to them after a while because I have crazy thoughts like everybody, every single day. After a while, they start to get further and further apart. Then I have these couple of seconds of silence here and there. Then my mind might go off and I bring it back and I bring it back. But after a while I'll get like five or 6 seconds of silence, then another five or 6 seconds of silence. Then I start to feel a feeling of weightlessness, a little bit of detachment from my body. Not in a negative sense, but I feel almost like I'm blended with my chair, I'm blended with my environment. I feel completely at peace and relaxed. That is the physical signal that you've connected to your inner being and you can hang out there for a while. Once that connection is made. That's all you need. You don't have to meditate for hours on end. It just takes hitting that point. Usually it takes me about twelve to 15 minutes and then I'm good for the day. That's my silent meditation. I also do yoga now while I'm doing yoga, yes, a lot of times I'm trying to clear my mind, but it's during my yoga that a lot of times I get those ideas and downloads. I also do a form of meditation called Sex Magic, which is where I'm masturbating and meditating. And that might sound a little crazy to people, but I have learned through practice and experience that when I meditate and I am charging my sexual energy, then I can infuse the thoughts about the life I'm wanting to lead with sexual energy. And then I get turbocharged manifestations because our sexual energy is the most powerful energy that we are gifted with.

Deborah [00:12:44]:

I love that. So good. So I just wanted to get you used the term charging your sexual energy and I think I know what that means, but I'm curious when you say that, what do you mean by that?

Will Tantra [00:13:00]:

Oh, thanks for asking because I know that might be an OD term to use. So charging my sexual energy, what I mean by that is I feel like our genitals are batteries for sexual energy and we can either charge that battery and give it more energy or we can diffuse that battery and release some of that energy. So for example, if I masturbate and I'm jacking off and I'm feeling that energy building and it's all great, and then I just shoot my load, then that energy is going to drop. So I've both charged the battery up and then I've depleted the battery and at 20 years old great, no problem. I'm 56 years old now. So the refractory period, meaning the time in between erections and orgasms and ejaculations that feels appropriate for me at my age, has gotten a little longer. So it's important for me as a human to learn how to masturbate in a way that doesn't always diffuse my sexual energy. Which means I'm edging, I'm enjoying different levels of arousal, I'm exploring other parts of my body, I'm getting super satisfied by those high edges. And I don't need to always go over the edge and ejaculate to have an amazing time with my cock. And that's not every single time I do ejaculate sometimes, but it's an important practice for me to masturbate. Feel the energy build, spread it around my body with my breath and sound and movement, and then go on with my day.

Deborah [00:14:53]:

Thank you. So we were talking one of the things that really excited me about this conversation is the idea of changing up masturbation. And I know with my clients the first step is actually can you do this with the lights on and actually take your covers off? And so I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit about masturbation, about changing what you do usually some of the things that you suggest with your clients?

Will Tantra [00:15:32]:

Absolutely, yes. I like to teach my clients and viewers how to masturbate in a way that better prepares them for partnered sex. And I like to use the analogy of an athlete training for a sporting event. So for example, if you have a football quarterback and he's practicing his perfect throw, he's preparing for a game. He's not just practicing in a perfect climate controlled room, super comfortable, no sun in his eyes, no distractions around. No, it's quite the opposite. He's practicing with people chasing him. It's hot, it's cold, somebody's yelling at him. Maybe he's tired, maybe he's got a little all sorts of different distractions in order to help his neuromuscular system perfect that throw. Regardless of the conditions. Our generals can kind of be similar in the fact that they get really used to the habits that we give them anything in our body because our bodies are adaptation machines and whatever we give them repeatedly, they get really good at. So if we masturbate in the exact same position, the exact same porn with the exact same stroke, speed and pressure, then talking as a man, then my cock is going to get really used to that but then pigeonhole me into a narrow area of what will get me off. So what that means is when I'm masturbating I need to change my body position, stand up sometimes, get on my hands and knees sometimes, lie on my back. Sometimes I masturbate in the positions that I like to have sex in because the mind to muscle engagements that occur during sexual pleasure, during partnered sex need to also be there during solo sex for our cocks, for their function and pleasure to be maximized. So not only does body position does that need to be changed, but also to change our stroke speed and pressure and variety of strokes. Typically guys jack off with the same stroke, the same up and down motion, whatever their old faithful stroke is and then they're with a partner and maybe their mouth or hole or pussy doesn't feel anything like that. It might be a lot looser or tighter or wetter or drier, you know what I mean? So we need to try to mimic how partnered sex is in our own bedrooms by ourselves.

Deborah [00:18:30]:

Would you say that this sort of training masturbation, for lack of a better term, do you suggest that people have porn or vibrators or erotica or is it more just hand to genitals or what's your thought there?

Will Tantra [00:18:55]:

Well, it depends on the person. A lot of people are very attached to porn and watch it every single time. I've had several clients, especially over the last few years in their 20s, who have what's called porn induced erectile dysfunction. And what that means is they can only get off when they're watching porn so they're watching porn when they're masturbating and then they bring the porn into their partnered sex. So for somebody like that, that's a huge issue. And I can't just say, oh, throw away the porn and get all spiritual. It just doesn't work. So it really does depend on the person. But what I do encourage people to do is not to get off the porn completely, but to sometimes have just you just looking at your own body or looking at yourself in the image or even playing the fantasies in your own head so that you are in charge of your own turn on. And it doesn't always have to come from an external image stimulus and that is exercising a different arousal muscle. That's super important when you're with a partner. Because otherwise when you're with a partner, you're going to be thinking about the porn, fantasizing about it, wishing it was on, and disconnecting from your person.

Deborah [00:20:24]:

Just to be clear, what you're suggesting is that to try different things in terms of I love you, brought in the mirror and having somebody look at themselves in the mirror to try different speeds, to try different positions. I'm curious because one of the things that I've suggested to clients and I don't know what you think about this, but if you're going to watch porn or if you're going to use porn, try to do it to just listen to it or to just watch it without the sound or to put it in a different position, to kind of start having different experiences with it.

Will Tantra [00:21:11]:

Absolutely. Or turn it on and get excited, then turn it off. Don't play with it in a way that there's variety, but that you're not relying on it exclusively every single time. In the same way, there's also different types of porn. There's educational porn, there's more intimate porn, there's consciously created porn. There's a lot of things that we can watch that are both entertaining but also educational, so that sometimes I'm watching porn and I feel like I'm eating junk food and then sometimes I'm watching porn like, oh, okay, cool. This is a how to give a blowjob one. Or this is a scene around submission and control. And I'm studying these dynamics. If there's a practical aspect to it, I feel much more satisfied about the whole experience.

Deborah [00:22:17]:

Yeah. And I just want to be super clear to anybody listening, I am not dissing porn in terms of just saying that or shaming it. I think the conversation here and the suggestion here is that it's one note, that there are more notes and it's a very different experience than when you are with a partner.

Will Tantra [00:22:44]:

Absolutely, yeah.

Deborah [00:22:47]:

Go ahead.

Will Tantra [00:22:48]:

Oh, no, I was just going to say and a lot of times if we're watching porn, more than 75% of the time when we masturbate, then we're bringing that porn to our partners because we're fantasizing about it when we're having sex with them because that is how our minds have been trained. One other important well, there's a few other, but I definitely want to get one other important masturbation tip out and that is if you like to fuck then when you're masturbating you want to include movements that are fuck. Like so for example, as a man with a cock, if I am always getting my arousal from a shoulder to arm to hand movement, that is a completely different neurological pathway than a hip thrust to get the arousal going. Do you know what I mean? My hand moving totally different from my hips moving. It's a totally different muscle. You're working with your brain in terms of neurological wiring. So if you like to fuck then when you're masturbating, you need to be thrusting into your hand, fucking your hand, or fucking a flesh jack, a pocket pussy, but literally mimic the fucking action while you're masturbating then that will help train your body and cock to perform more maximally with your partners.

Deborah [00:24:28]:

I hadn't really thought about this but as I'm watching you and thinking about it, it's like if you're not moving when you masturbate, you're probably not moving when you're having sex.

Will Tantra [00:24:40]:

Yeah. And it takes a lot of to do a deep pelvic thrust. This takes some strength and flexibility to do this hundreds of times hopefully while you're fucking. And so it needs to be practiced. And especially if usually guys masturbate with such a fast speed and pressure, it's nothing like what their hips can do. It's way faster. And that can make it difficult for guys to get off. And they usually go too fast and squeeze too hard and develop something called death grip syndrome which means they're making their hand feel nothing like a mouth hole or pussy. And then it makes it very difficult for them to get off or ejaculate inside a hole.

Deborah [00:25:35]:

So we've talked about breath, we've talked about movement. The third tantric principle that we haven't really talked about much is sound. And I'm imagining you have lots to say about that as well.

Will Tantra [00:25:50]:

Yeah, I'm very in tune with the tantric principles of pleasure. I believe that they apply to all of the senses in our body, not just touch. And I believe that breath, sound and movement are very natural responses for us as humans when we are enjoying a sensation in our body and again, not just touch. So for example, if you're using your eye sensor and you're looking at a beautiful sunset or fireworks show, what's everybody doing? Right? They take a breath. Oh, look at that. They exclaim. There's usually like maybe a little body undulation. If you're using your nose sensor and you smell something yummy in the kitchen, what is that? You don't want to move towards what I'm appreciating. I'm breathing, I'm making sound, I'm moving ear sensor, I'm listening to my favorite song. Well, I'm singing that's breath and sound, right? And I'm dancing that's movement. But when it comes to touch, we get real quiet and we get shy and we kind of clam up because, I don't know about you, but when I was younger and masturbating, I certainly wasn't in my room going, oh, yeah, this is amazing. And then right in the living room, hey, mom and dad, guess what I was just doing, right? We were quiet and quick and very small about it. So it's natural for us to breathe, make sound, and move when we feel any or experience any sensation in our body. And touch is no different. And so I'm really big on all three of those. When it comes to the sensation of touch. You asked specifically about sound. When we make sounds, there's a vibration. That vibration stirs up the kundalini, or life force energy in our pelvis and our spine and brings it up the spine through the chakra system and shared the rest of our body. So that sound vibration really helps spread and circulate the sexual energy.

Deborah [00:28:15]:

That is so good. So before we got on the call together, we were talking a little bit about the work that you do, and most of your work is available online, and I'm wondering if you could talk a little bit about that, about the work that you do and what's available in your offerings.

Will Tantra [00:28:38]:

Oh, thank you. Yes. So before the pandemic, I was doing massage and escorting and teaching tantra. And then the pandemic happens, and the first thing I said was, don't touch anybody. So I thought, okay, what am I going to do here? And I had had this idea for several years about creating explicit sex education because I feel that's really missing in our society and our culture. The sex education that I was given and most people are given was very warning based. Don't get anybody pregnant and don't catch anything, and here's how to protect yourself. But I never learned how to give a blow job or how to find a G spot or even how to clean my hole if I wanted to bottom. These were all things that just word them out. Plus, I didn't have a computer back then, so when the pandemic happened, I thought, okay, here's my chance. And I also wanted to teach practical masturbation. So I started creating practical and explicit sex and tantra education videos and offering them on subscription platforms online. I use both only fans and just for fans, and my business name is Tantric Fitness. So at this point, I've made over 600 videos, and about half of them are masturbation tutorials, and the other half are partnered sex demonstrations and tutorials. Those topics can range from lower intimacy like tantric undressing rituals, or learning how to discuss boundaries and consent and asking for what you want. And then some of the ones are way more intimate. And teaching how to please a pussy with your mouth and your cock and your hands, how to open a hole, how to stretch your cock. How to make eye contact while making love, how to dirty talk. How to do naked yoga in a way that stretches your body before you make love. Even how to give a tantric massage. So I've been doing this pretty steady for about three years now and I absolutely love it. And it's brought me to a bunch of different places around the world to work with different teachers and performers and I feel like I'm just getting warmed up.

Deborah [00:31:24]:

Love that. So I'm kind of curious what your most popular video is, if you know.

Will Tantra [00:31:30]:

Yes. It's called how to have multiple orgasms. And it's exactly what it sounds like. About six years ago I heard that men could have multiple orgasms and I started reading about it and trying to study about it. And the information as far as how to was very vague and not super straightforward. And at first I got frustrated and gave up. Actually gave up twice. Then I came back to it and then I figured out something in the literature and the training that was suggested that I really felt was missing. And once I incorporated that into my masturbation practice, I was able to achieve multiple orgasms. That skill has completely changed my life. Most people focus on the orgasm aspect. You can have so many orgasms. Yes. That's amazing. I honestly can have as many as I want and that feels great. But what feels even better is I've taught myself how to separate orgasm from ejaculation, which means I know how to diffuse my refractory period, which means my sexual energy stays charged even when I orgasm. In fact, it even gets a little higher with each orgasm. So I created a step by step how to instructional video on how to do this and demonstration. And most of the videos that I do with people, you can see it in practice. I come like three, four, five times. So it's not oh, some sort of hippie dippy. Oh, I'm edging. Oh, I'm having this full body orgasm. I'm calling it this multiple no. These are real toe curling, sheet grabbing, eyes rolling in the back of your head orgasms. And you can have them over and over and over again if you train. Anybody can do it. I've taught many, many men how to do this.

Deborah [00:33:56]:

I love that. So I wanted to go back just a moment. We were talking somewhere along the line you mentioned talking about your turn on. And I guess my question is that I'm imagining that it's the meditation, the movement, all of these things that help you to keep yourself turned on and have that life force energy moving. And I'm just wondering if you could talk a little bit about how you might feed the turn on. That is not obvious. It's a terrible question, but hopefully you get the point.

Will Tantra [00:34:46]:

I think I do, and I want to go back to meditation because I feel like the most important factor in my sexual energy is my mood. Just my overall mood, like, how I'm feeling that day. Am I optimistic? Am I in a sense of appreciation? Am I looking forward to things? Or am I grumpy? No matter how much tantra I do and proper masturbation and going to yoga class and going to the gym and eating healthy food. If I'm cranky or irritable or negatively spiraling about something, I'm not horny. My sexual energy is not charged. So honestly, for me, my main priority each day as far as sex and intimacy goes is to get my mood in a good feeling place.

Deborah [00:35:45]:

I totally hear that. I just had the experience. I was kind of grumpy for a couple of days and I couldn't quite shift it. I was doing all the regular things and then last night I got to lead a tantra speed date and it was just such an amazing experience. Right? It reminded me because I got to watch people connect. I got to really be in my own heart and just like, there is something about that experience. I mean, it seems kind of obvious now that I'm saying it out loud, but it was like, oh, this is what I needed. I needed my attention to be out. I needed to be in that space where it's like, I am able to feel what's going on in the room, but it's not about me. It's not about me trying to find or trying to do, but it's actually offering ouch. That actually helped me shift my mood.

Will Tantra [00:36:48]:

Yeah, giving, being open, being available, being ready to be ready is what I like to call it. So that's another way that I keep my sexual energy high. It's like right now or today, it's like, I don't have a plan to have sex today, but sex in my life is super important. When I do have sex, either tomorrow or the next day, I want to be ready. So what does that mean? It means I've slept well. It means I'm eating properly. It means I've meditated. It means I've masturbated and edged and connected with myself. It means I've got my shit together. I'm kind of on top of my to do list, all those sort of things, and I call it getting ready to be ready. So that's part of keeping my sexual energy higher is sex is an important aspect of my life and I try to do things that enhance that experience, even when I'm not in that experience. Does that make sense?

Deborah [00:37:55]:

Yes, absolutely. That is so good. So in a moment, I'm going to ask you what it is. We've talked a lot about men and sexuality, and I know that you offer classes and courses for women, and so in a moment, I'm going to ask what you would suggest for women in terms of is there anything that you would do. Differently. But first I want to just take a moment and let people know how the Better Sex podcast is supported. Sex is really a complicated subject, except for it's easy. And unfortunately, most of us don't grow up in the environment where sex is welcomed. And that's why I created the Better Sex membership. It's a place to learn about and put into action the practical tools to become a better lover, to increase pleasure in your relationships. If you're bored or sexually unfulfilled, you can get the support you need. And let's face it, a podcast is not enough. You have to put it into practice. Just like Will was saying, you have to put it into practice. So if you're ready for tips and tools and exercises so that you can have better sex, then the Better Sex membership is for you. Please check out the details for the membership in the show notes. After all, life is too short to have bad sex. So on that note, I'm going to come back to the question about women and what you might suggest for women to, as you said, be ready to be ready. And if there's something that you might want to say to men about what's different about pleasing a pussy versus pleasing a cock?

Will Tantra [00:39:57]:

Yes. In the United States at least, masturbation for girls and women is not encouraged at all. And with men and boys it's assumed, it is kind of encouraged a bit. It's more within our culture to joke about it and talk about it. And boys know exactly how their cock works and how to bring it to orgasm and ejaculation at a pretty young age. Most girls and women, a lot of them don't masturbate and don't know how to bring themselves to orgasm and a lot of times show up on their wedding night ready to be completely blown away by their new husband who also doesn't know how to give them an orgasm because they haven't experienced that pussy yet. And they're all unique and individual. So the first thing I would say is really encourage any women to get to know their pussy, really explore it and masturbate and learn how to bring themselves to high level edges and their own orgasms so that not only can they enjoy it on their own, but then they can teach their partners how to get them to orgasm as well. Because it's totally different for guys. Guys. It's pretty much the same way every time. Most men are very similar in how they get off. Most men get off fairly easily. I have come across maybe zero men in my practice that say they cannot come to orgasm at all. It might take them a while, but they can orgasm, whereas lots of women can't orgasm or never have before. So I think it's really important for women to know their own pussies really well and how they can be pleased and get off and then be available to teach partners and not be shy about telling them how to please their own pussies.

Deborah [00:42:18]:

I love that. And I'm curious if you think women run into the same thing that you were talking about with men where it's like one way, one pressure, 1 ATM. Do you see that?

Will Tantra [00:42:40]:

Yes. And that's okay. And a lot of times it might be a vibrator, it might be a special toy, it might be humping, a special pillow. I feel that women's orgasms can be a little more elusive than men and the way that a woman gets her orgasm should be more honored and protected and that she shouldn't be shy at all about how she gets there. And I'm using she could be they how they get there because if they're with a partner and they need a vibrator to get off, even if during penetrative sex or using fingers or a mouth and they need the vibrator, then that's really important to communicate and needs to be brought into the play session. So yes, absolutely. However their orgasm is achieved, that should be honored and respected and communicated. And I do know for women sometimes that their narrow ability to have an orgasm, that might be it for them and that's just fine.

Deborah [00:43:55]:

And I just want to be clear because oftentimes I talk about orgasm and then I talk about climax. And for me orgasm is kind of the journey as you were talking about. And so I just want to be clear, when you're talking about women's orgasm, are you actually talking about climax or are you kind of talking about all of the building and all of the ups and downs that come before it?

Will Tantra [00:44:25]:

I'm talking about the actual climax. Yes, got it.

Deborah [00:44:31]:

Oh my God, this has been such a good conversation. Usually at this point I say to I ask my guests is there something that they would suggest when they turn off the podcast that people go ahead and try. But I feel like we've given so many different examples along the way. However, I am going to ask again, so if there's like one thing that you want people to get from our time together, what might that be?

Will Tantra [00:45:04]:

I'm going to go back to meditation again because I feel that if you have that anchor of your day of meditation to attune yourself to your inner being, then everything falls into place and you don't need to be. Following any strict regimen or program, and that the messages and the people and the suggested classes and courses will just naturally come to you when your vibration is set at the frequency that aligns with the life you're wanting to live. So honestly I have to go back to meditation and if you want it more sexy then I would say try sex magic. And what I mean by that it's nothing super tricky just playing with your genitals, building up your arousal and then think about something in your life, either that you're wanting to have or you're wanting your experience or someplace you're wanting to go or maybe a place you're wanting to live. And as you're masturbating, feel into that experience. What would it be like? What would the joys be there? What would the connections be there? And infuse your sexual energy into that vision. And I promise you, you will see movement towards the manifestation much faster than normal. It really works.

Deborah [00:46:35]:

Good.

Will Tantra [00:46:35]:

I'm living in a brand new place that I created with sex magic, and it has all the aspects that I was looking for. I couldn't be happier.

Deborah [00:46:45]:

Love to hear that.

Will Tantra [00:46:47]:

Thank you.

Deborah [00:46:47]:

So what are you working on these days and where can people find you?

Will Tantra [00:46:53]:

Well, right now I'm working on some new videos. I just filmed an instructional sensuous massage video. I just filmed another one on Roleplay. I like to do different roleplay, and I'm going to be finishing my Tantra coaching certification coming up pretty soon. So lots on the horizon, but everything can be found on either my Twitter or my Instagram. My Twitter is at Tantric Fitness. And my Instagram is at Tantric Fitness. And you can find all my information and what's happening next on there.

Deborah [00:47:46]:

Oh, my God. All right, you guys got to go check them out at Tantric Fitness on Instagram.

Will Tantra [00:47:54]:

Actually at Tantric Fitness on Instagram and just Tantric Fitness on Twitter.

Deborah [00:48:01]:

Beautiful. And of course, those links will be in the show notes and how you can get a hold of Will. I am so thrilled that we had this conversation. I'm super turned on.

Will Tantra [00:48:19]:

I love it.

Deborah [00:48:21]:

And I'm thinking meditation might be something to give another try. So I just want to say thank you so very much for your time, your energy, your wisdom. And please follow Will on social media. And if you want to help bring more love and better sex to the world, please share this video with somebody who needs it or wants it, because I know that there are folks out there who could use this information. So please share widely and like and subscribe and comment wherever you get your podcast. Thank you very much and I will see you on we'll be on the next one.

Will Tantra [00:49:07]:

Thank you so much, Deborah. It's been a pleasure.