Breathing Life into Sensuality: Loving your Body through Storytelling
In this episode I talk with mentor, breathwork teacher, storyteller and creator of the Yoniverse Monologues, Sirena Andrea. Sirena tells us about her work with women telling their stories to release shame around their experiences and desires. She shares her journey as a breathwork practitioner and the transformative power breathwork has for healing and empowerment. In this conversation, we explore the impact the stories we tell about our bodies have on our identities and the effect that has both in and out of the bedroom. We also chat about uncomfortable emotions and how to embrace them better sex and a fuller, more authentic life.
Website https://www.yoniversemonologues.com/home (free gift lives here)
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Insta @YoniVerse Monologues
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In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.
Sirena [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the better sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat, and I am your shameless host. This is the Better Sex Podcast where we have unfiltered conversations about sex and relationships. This show is about the many possibilities of sex and relationship and helping you to figure out what works for you so that you can have better sex on your terms. I truly believe that a sexy world creates a happier and a safer world. If you want to do your part to create a safer, sexy world, please hit like subscribe and leave a comment. Today we are going to dive into the world of my guest, Serena Andrea. She brings a fierce love and devotion of truth telling and wisdom to her emerging storytellers.
Sirena [00:01:01]:
She is a Master Storyteller mentor and the creatrix of the universe, monologues her ability to guide the feminine into embodied storytelling so that she can support them in sharing their truth while releasing the past. This is a hallmark of her many years of professional and personal training and storytelling. She's been performing, facilitating, and teaching the art of storytelling to artists, activists, speakers, students, mothers, grandmothers, teachers, and entrepreneurs all over the world. For the past 15 years, she's had the great fortune to apprentice with Master storytellers and guides throughout the world. I am so excited to have her here with me today. We've been dancing, literally dancing in the same world for about the last 1015 years, maybe even, and I've had the pleasure of seeing her perform and seeing the performances of her students in the universes. So I am so excited to have you here. I'm wondering, I know that the stories that we hear and tell ourselves about our own bodies and our yonis are part of what helps to create who we are, not just in the bedroom, but out of the bedroom.
Sirena [00:02:33]:
And I'm wondering, what was your journey like? How did you get here?
Deborah [00:02:43]:
Oh, the journey to the yoni. Well, I think from myself being brought up Catholic, the word yoni was never even in my vocabulary. It's one of my favorite exercises to do when I'm in a group of women is like, what do you call your genitals? Is it an endearing phrase? Is it a word that was given to you by your family that kind of makes you cringe? Like, how do you talk about your body? I think it's true for both men and women that when we name things and when we label our bodies, it can create an indelible vibration on how we relate to ourselves. So in my family, it was called a vagina. And what I noticed as a kid is no one else used that word. And so it seemed like a forbidden word because no one else was using it. And since no one was talking about it, I didn't talk about it. As I grew up and I started to hear different words being used.
Deborah [00:03:52]:
And when I dove into my yoga practice there was all of this talk and reverence about this portal, this opening between worlds that a yoni is right. It brings life from one world into the next. I began to see not only my vagina, my pussy, my yoni as something sacred but also as something that I could speak to, listen to, interact with and give it a voice of its own.
Sirena [00:04:26]:
I love the idea of speaking to and listening and interacting with your yoni, with your genitals. And I imagine that also is for the rest of your body as well. Yeah.
Deborah [00:04:45]:
One of the things I love so much about what you're doing, Deborah is you're shining a light on shame. And the shame that most people not all, but most people carry around their bodies and desires or urges or even their feelings. Like in my family, there was a lot of shame around just feeling you weren't supposed to feel you were just supposed to do. Or one of the favorite phrases in my family was like, pull up your boost straps and just get through it. But our bodies are so much more sensitive and nuanced from person to person. And what I find is the women that come to me to this unique storytelling project have a variety of experiences. There are some women on the edge of the spectrum that never spoke about sex or their sensuality where there's other women that are telling stories about celebration where they came from very liberal families or they escaped some kind of conservative thinking and now are so liberal and are multi orgasmic. So there's the range of stories that we experience.
Deborah [00:06:01]:
But I think the universal story that holds most people is that there's some kind of shame that came with an experience that stuck with us. And that wet blanket of shame around our bodies our sensuality, our desires create like a heaviness. It can create hiding. It can create denial, can create all these affects. That is the opposite of what most people are looking for in their intimate lives. And by revealing where we had a shameful experience or we were shamed by someone or something happened that we felt ashamed of being a part of we lift that blanket of shame and we bring in things like forgiveness things like allowing even understanding of why something happened the way it happened. Because for most humans the exploration of our sensuality or sexuality began when we were quite small. It was very natural for us to touch our genitals, touch our toes, put things in our mouths, put things in other people's mouths.
Deborah [00:07:30]:
It's just part of the human experience of exploring our world what comes in our bodies, what goes out of our bodies. And then something happens. Or maybe something happened and it happened again and again and again. And when those stories, those experiences aren't shared in a safe place where we're not trying to be fixed no one's giving us advice. No one's telling us we shouldn't feel that way about what happened. There's a liberation that can happen because the way we are shamed by the church, by school, by community is a universal thing. There is ways that the church has views on sensuality. That's same in Italy as it is in Nebraska.
Deborah [00:08:23]:
So these universal stories, when we are allowed to tell them in an open space like your right, potentially, where people can share and feel safe and reflected, that like, oh wow, that was really hard. And who have you become? Now there's a chance for us to have a next exciting chapter.
Sirena [00:08:44]:
I love that. I want to pause for just a moment and invite you to tell people who are listening, who may not be familiar with you about the universe and maybe even a little bit about how did the universe come to be the.
Deborah [00:09:02]:
Her story of the universe. Yeah. I have always been searching for a kind of map on how to navigate this complex human experience as a woman. How do you do this dance of embodied femininity and sexuality? And I couldn't find one. So I started creating women's circles. And the first one began with a dozen women. When I used to live in Marin County and we would meet under the full moon, we'd go for a walk, we'd share, we'd have a potluck. And inevitably, we'd end up talking about relationship, relationships that were working, relationships that were beginning, relationships that were ending.
Deborah [00:09:52]:
And what kept striking me about what women were sharing in these closed circle where it's just women was there's a lot of wisdom? A lot of wisdom. And women who were sharing about their experiences were often like in the share of their story, they were finding their own. And so I created more circles and more circles. When I moved to Santa Cruz, where I am right now, I started another circle in the yurt behind my house and it started happening again. Women got together, they started talking. And it was the relationships in our lives that we are so concerned about. Women value relationship so much. And then one of the women in the circle was sharing with me about a project she was working on and it was in Africa.
Deborah [00:10:53]:
And she shared that in Africa to date, there are still practices where young women have their yonis sewed smaller or their clitoris is removed. And these are all ancient practices that really stunt or stop a woman from having any pleasure during intercourse. And I was horrified. I was horrified that this ever happened, that it was still happening and that I didn't know about it. And I had no idea how to make any change in Africa because I'm in California. What could I do? And what I became curious about was what if the wisdom inside of these small women's circles were shared in a bigger venue? What if this wisdom that women share, the strength that women share, the tenderness that women share. What if we share this outside of our women's circle, and potentially the men in our lives who heard our stories or women who couldn't speak up in their relationships could hear our stories, and they could have the courage to speak up? What if there were simply more women telling the truth in the world? Would that create a ripple? And I decided to start in my own backyard. So the first Yoni birth was a call out to women in my community of any woman who wanted to tell a story about her sensuality, her sexuality, her embodied experience.
Deborah [00:12:30]:
It could be anything from giving birth to her babies to divorce to orgasm to a near death experience, to the first time she made love as a teenager. Like, whatever threshold experience really formed her femininity and this truth inside of herself. So 14 women raised their hand. They're like, I want to tell. And I was completely blown away. Takes so much courage. So much courage. So we created a ritual theater experience, and each woman told a story, and our whole community wanted more.
Deborah [00:13:14]:
And I didn't completely come up with this idea out of the clouds. If you know Eve Ensler's work with the Vagina monologues, you know that part of her project was to end violence against women. That was a big part of what the Vagina Monologues were about. And she basically interviewed women from all over, and she crafted a story based on those interviews. But I'm a coach, and I'm an empowerment coach, and I wanted women to tell their own stories because I could see the transformation that was possible if a woman had a story that she was ashamed of telling, that she didn't want anyone to know, and she was doing everything in her life to hide that experience. I knew she wasn't living fully in her life, and I could see the transformation that was possible if she could tell that story in a sacred circle, even in a beloved community of people. Like in the olden times when you told a story in your community by the firelight, and she was not stunned or judged or blamed, but she was welcomed back into the tribe, like, yes. Wow, that happened.
Deborah [00:14:25]:
That was horrific. That was victorious and welcome back. What kind of change would happen? And so the Yoniverse was born that first year, and it's been going eight years, and grandmothers, mothers, teachers, artists, all kinds of women from all different walks of life have come to share their stories. And overall, the change that happens in these women as they move out of the universe is really profound.
Sirena [00:14:57]:
Yes, I've got goosebumps as you're talking about this, because I've been fortunate enough to not only see several of the performances, but actually really witnessed a couple of friends of mine go through the experience. And what comes to mind is one person in particular. She's like, oh, should I do it? Should I not do it? Should I do it? Should I not do it? That dance. And when she said yes, everything changed. Everything changed for her. She ended up I think she either moved, like, halfway through the universe or maybe it was at the end, but just big changes and transformations. And so I think that was really one of the reasons I wanted to get to talk to you more about this project, is because I've been fortunate enough to see the transformation in friends of mine and hear the stories of the women who've come forward. And I'm wondering if you'd be willing to talk a little bit more about that process of how it's created.
Sirena [00:16:19]:
And I love what you pointed out about the difference between The Vagina Monologues, where the stories are written, for which I've also seen the Vagina Monologues, which are amazing, but there's a level of intimacy, I think, that I've experienced.
Deborah [00:16:43]:
At.
Sirena [00:16:43]:
The Yoniverse that's that's a very different flavor. And I'm just wondering if you'd be willing to talk a little bit about the process.
Deborah [00:16:51]:
Yeah, be happy to. So over the years, what I've noticed is that every woman knows what story she wants to tell because we have certain experiences that have happened in our lives that have shaped us. So the path there can be a very windy road. So a big part of the process is actually telling and being witnessed in stories, experiences that we have happened. So what I do in the universe is I do a lot of prompts where I set women up to tell stories about very specific things. So, for example, we all tell our birth stories. And I think birth stories are one of the most important stories that any human being has to tell and retell and to be curious about what happened. Because our birth stories many times were our first life or death experience.
Deborah [00:17:57]:
We were in the portal coming through the Yoni, right? We maybe weren't able to breathe well. Maybe we were stuck. Maybe our mom was struggling. So when we tell our stories and we get curious, we often find ourselves telling or discovering things about our stories that we didn't know before. Similar with the story prompt of tell a story about the first time you discovered your sexuality. Was that with someone? Was that by yourself? Was that on a screen? And what did you make mean out of that? What is the meaning you made out of that? Because storytelling is really the vehicle human beings use to make meaning out of what happened. So the Yoniverse is like looking at a diamond, and we're looking at our stories, and we keep turning around and looking at the different facets of it to stay curious for different perspectives. Because one of the things that can happen in our psyche if something happened to us and we tell the story the same way, every time it concretizes and it becomes solid, in many ways, it becomes rote or lifeless.
Deborah [00:19:11]:
But if we take that same story, that same experience, and we keep churning it around, looking at it from different perspectives, even maybe looking at it from a perspective of someone else who was in this story with us, like in our birth stories, what was it like for our mother? What was she facing at the time? What was the era she was birthing a baby into? Right? It gives us perspective and even widens our view on what are the facts of the story. Once we start unearthing these different facets of our stories, it causes us to feel more. We might start to feel grief in our hearts or sadness, or maybe there's anger, grief or resentment in our heart around how our experience turned out or didn't. They say that we often grieve things that didn't happen to us more than things that did. So for some people in our coming of age stories, when we discovered our sexuality, our sensuality like this blossoming in many instances, this innocent discovery, for many people, there was some kind of shame put on that, and there can be some real grief around. Like, I was just pleasuring myself in the bathtub. I was just playing with my cousin. What's the shame about? Right? So there can be some grief around that.
Deborah [00:20:42]:
So when we begin to tell our stories and tell them to each other, we start to feel more. When we feel more, there's this mysterious process of gathering parts of ourselves that we might have splintered off from or separated ourselves from. Because so much of the human nervous system is designed to shut down when things are uncomfortable, right? And so if we're starting to feel more, whether it's anger or sadness or feelings we haven't really felt before of our past, and they start to come back, our nervous system tends to compartmentalize or shut down or manage our feelings. So a big part of what I teach my storytellers is how to stay embodied, how to actually be in your body while you're feeling, even if it feels intense or uncomfortable. And you can see how this could create better sex.
Sirena [00:21:54]:
Absolutely. One of the ways that I know you is from the dance floor. And so I'm kind of curious, how does movement factor into storytelling? And.
Deborah [00:22:14]:
It is one of my biggest anchors in storytelling, and it happened accidentally. Dancing didn't happen accidentally. I've been passionate about dancing my whole life. I danced as a kid with my family. And so movement has always been a way that I have used my body to express feelings without words, like to feel, to move energy through my body. And when I started the Yoniverse and I was telling on stage a lot, I had terrible stage fright. And I was scared to talk about things that were so vulnerable about my sex life that I never could talk about with my family. I was losing my marbles.
Deborah [00:22:55]:
And so I would dance. I would literally go on the dance floor to an ecstatic dance or a five rhythms dance. And I would tell my story in my head as I was moving. And what I noticed was that the nervousness in my belly or the tightness in my chest, there'd be more space for me as I started to move. And so when I would tell before I'd get on stage to tell, I would also move. I'd do movement practices and breath work practices to move the energy so I'd feel less nervous and I would be more present. So I started teaching that to my storytellers and I watched it work amazingly because stage fright takes all different kinds of shapes, right? But what makes the most pleasurable storytelling experience for the teller herself is when she's actually present, her heart is open, her belly is soft, she's feeling because she's also receiving the listening of the audience. And that, in many ways, is what every woman wants.
Deborah [00:24:02]:
To be seen, to be heard, to be felt. So if a woman is scared, right, or terrified and is disassociating or leaving her body, the embodiment practices I teach bring her back into her body so she can be present. So we do a lot of dancing, moving and now breath work in the universe. Yeah.
Sirena [00:24:27]:
So another way that I know you is through your breath work practice. And I'm wondering if you'd like to talk a little bit about the breath work that you're doing these days.
Deborah [00:24:40]:
I would love to. This feels like the gem of COVID because I had so many practices in place when COVID hit and isolated. Like many people, I was unable to dance in community anymore because everyone was worried about getting everyone sick. So I began dancing at home because I had to move. And I started deepening into the awareness and tracking of my own breath. Kind of like when you exercise, right? You breathe at one pace when you're walking and you breathe at another pace when you're running. And I started noticing my breath. And then I had an opportunity to do some breath work training while in COVID.
Deborah [00:25:29]:
And I got to dive deep into what are the mechanisms in our bodies that hold tension and trauma that can be released solely through conscious, connected breathing. Super simple and super profound. So during COVID all the way through until now, I've been training as a breath work practitioner and practicing with groups of people, individuals and groups. And bringing that into storytelling and performing has been incredible because as you probably know, you can tell your story, you can repeat a story, you can be seen, heard and felt on the outside. And that's a particular kind of medicine. But to settle inside, to actually befriend and integrate a past experience into the nervous system so you're no longer terrified like, on a cellular level when someone says, so, Deborah, tell me what you really want. Deborah, you are so beautiful. The way you smile lights me up.
Deborah [00:26:41]:
I want to please you. How can I love you right now? If someone were to say those things to you and to have a soft, embodied experience where you're just like, I want you to stroke my hair. Right? To have that experience is like next level presence attunement to the self and what your no and your yes are. And those kinds of things aren't available to us if we're running a lot of trauma in our system, right. A lot of fear of the past.
Sirena [00:27:19]:
It's so funny. When you first said, Tell me what you desire, I noticed I had this moment of contraction and, like, what do I desire in this moment? And then the next piece when you were appreciating me, it was like I could just feel and you can't see this on the audio piece, but my whole face lit up, and there was an upward movement of the energy. And yeah, I think as I experienced that just in this moment, the idea of coming back to, like, oh, what is my body doing and what is my breath doing? And how is that congruent with my experience in the moment? And really, as you've been talking about the breath piece and the movement piece and then the sound of telling the story, these are, like, really important pieces to not just this sensual sexual experience with others, but our own sensual sexual experience and being able to take the time. How long do you work with people for the Universe?
Deborah [00:28:53]:
The Universe is a nine month program where we go through different threshold stories in our life, different experiences, until we find the one story that we want to polish, the one we want to bring out of the closed circle of women into the audience. And I find that nine months, right? That's how much time it takes a human mammal to gestate a baby and have it come out into the world. And it's a great gestation period. And I love what you were saying about your body responding to these questions I was asking you because I was watching your face change. It was wonderful.
Sirena [00:29:33]:
So I'm curious. I'm wondering if there's since I just got to experience it, I'm wondering if you have something for folks that are listening, if you have a breath or a technique or a suggestion on how they can feel more embodied and feel more connected.
Deborah [00:29:56]:
I do. I started a particular practice to help me ground before I got on stage because I would find that I was just, like, lifting out of my body every time. So I started this practice called Yoni Pulses, and I was really shy, and I didn't tell anybody about it. I'm like, this is just experience between me and my yoni. I know I can't breathe through her. There's no lungs in my yoni. However, the muscles of our yoni are exactly in the shape and folds as our larynx in our throat. Right.
Deborah [00:30:33]:
The universe does not mess around when it comes to design. So I was like, well, if the muscles in my throat that I'm going to be speaking out of are speaking about my experience in my pelvis, in my hips, in my belly, what would happen if I started flexing and loosening the muscles of my yoni along with my breath before I got on stage? I wonder what would happen. So I started designing something called Yoni Pulses and I teach this to my clients. It's my free gift on my website. And if you want to try it right now with me, the trick is to relax on the inhale. Most of us tense when we inhale. So the idea is to relax your belly, let it fall over, soft and open. And when you inhale, if you want to put your hand right below your belly button.
Deborah [00:31:31]:
And when you inhale, see if you can allow your belly to balloon out. And then on the exhale, gently pull your belly button towards your spine on the exhale like you're deflating a balloon. So be inhale big belly. Exhale, belly button to spine. Beautiful inhale big belly. Exhale belly button to spine. And as you keep repeating this, you might notice your pelvis, your hips are just gently rocking back and forth ever so slightly. Inhale big belly, your pelvis rocks back a little bit.
Deborah [00:32:16]:
Exhale pelvis rocks forward. Yeah, just like that. You might just start to notice this gentle undulation up your spine so that unto itself, if you kept breathing like that and not holding your breath in between, just inhale, exhale, nice and easy, your nervous system would start to relax. And then if you bring your yoni into it. So now when you inhale big belly, relax your yoni consciously. Just imagine your yoni opening like a flower, nice and relaxed. And then when you exhale belly button to spine, gently contract your yoni like you're going to try not to pee. Just gentle and then inhale.
Deborah [00:33:01]:
Relax big belly. Relax yoni inhale. Feel full and soft. Exhale. Gently draw belly. Draw yoni in and open. Inhale and close. Exhale.
Deborah [00:33:20]:
Open. Inhale, exhale. And if you just come back to your normal breathing pattern and then just notice how you feel. You can't see it. But Deborah's got a sparkle.
Sirena [00:33:35]:
Yeah, I can totally like for one thing, I can feel my turn on. And for me, turn on. When I use the word turn on, it's the life force energy. But there's a difference between when I feel it definitely has a more sensual, sexy feel. Like there's definitely turn on in the heart. But then bringing my attention down to my yoni definitely has a very different flavor for it.
Deborah [00:34:10]:
Yeah, this is just one of the practices because we have different centers of power in our body, right? Like you were turning on the power in your pelvis which can be very grounding, it could be very sensual and to continue breathing up into the diaphragm and then even up into the heart, these are ancient practices. And what I find is most humans have been cut off from the lower half of their body when it comes to engaging in the world because it's supposed to be separate, right? Our sexual sensual turn on is just for the bedroom. But what happens when we bring that into an embodied state and we use that turn on that energy and aliveness of creation and we use it to deliver our message stories.
Sirena [00:34:58]:
So good. And I love that you mentioned this sensual sexual energy is creative energy. We create babies with this energy and so using this energy to help create stories and to bring that out into the world, I love that. So I want to know a little bit more about what you're up to in the world these days and I want to make sure that you have a chance to talk a little bit about where people can find you. And also I really want to invite people like even just I think what a minute and a half worth of the breathing and I'm totally turned on and ready. But I really want to encourage people to check out your website and get the free gifts so that they can have this experience as well. But I'm going to pause for a moment. What are you up to these days? Where can people find you?
Deborah [00:36:12]:
I so appreciate you shining the light on the Yoniverse and the work that I'm doing. Thank you so much. Your mission to make a sexier world so it becomes a safer world is something that we're so aligned in currently. I am opening the doors for the universe and making space for women to come forward and tell their stories. And all of that information can be found on my website. And I'm also doing one on one breath work because for some women who've had really intense experiences involving their sexual life, being in a group theater production is too overwhelming. And so I work with women one on one to really melt shame and tension and pain that's been in their body for a long time. So that they can have richer intimacy, whether that's first with self or their partner or they're looking for a partner and they're wanting to melt and open.
Deborah [00:37:14]:
But there's something in their body that hasn't been there that's keeping them stuck in the past. And so I do one on one trauma released breath work sessions and I do them myself. I was on the floor just yesterday on my yoga mat breathing through some of the charge I still had around the way I was parented and the way I am in my body. And I am a big. Stand for all women everywhere to be empowered in their bodies and making choices that feel pleasurable for them, because, Deborah, you know, more happy, pleasurable women in the world makes everybody happy. Less crunchy by the feminine things blow.
Sirena [00:38:00]:
Absolutely. And one of the things that I'm really tapping into these days is that joy is the feminine. There's something about the version of joy that just flows out from feminine beings that it's really different than the masculine. Like, the masculine has something, but it's not that flowy, excited joy.
Deborah [00:38:31]:
I love that you say that. One of my girlfriend calls joy like a volcano. I have another girlfriend who joys like a storm. I have another one woman who joys like a river. Yeah. We have all these different flavors of joy that come from women, but it definitely bubbles out of us, and we want to share it right. With our children, with our families. That is our nature.
Deborah [00:38:55]:
And so for a woman to be overflowing with joy and feeling connected to her body right. It's a blessing to the entire community.
Sirena [00:39:05]:
Absolutely. I love that. And I just want to say thank you so much for the work that you're doing in the world. And I know that not only are you doing this piece here, but when you're working one on one with people, is that in person? Can they find you?
Deborah [00:39:31]:
Yep. I live in Santa Cruz, California, so that's where I do the in person work. But I work virtually all over the world. COVID really changed the face of what we can do online. And so the breath work I do and the Yoniverse are both do. I go through both channels now.
Sirena [00:39:51]:
Beautiful. And can you please, for people who are listening, can you spell out your website?
Deborah [00:40:00]:
Yes, of course. Yoniverse is spelled Y-O-N-I-V-E-R-S-E. Yoniverse. And then monologues is M-O-N-O-L-O-G-O-U-E-S monologues. Yoniversemonologs.com.
Sirena [00:40:20]:
Beautiful. Thank you. And of course, those links will be in the show notes, but I wanted to if you just happen to be listening and not looking at the computer, I'm curious if there was just one thing that you wanted people to walk away with, knowing from this conversation, what might that be?
Deborah [00:40:49]:
Never too late. No matter what has happened in your life or what hasn't happened in your life, there is an opportunity to reach out for support so that you can have access to more of your aliveness.
Sirena [00:41:11]:
So good. So thank you so much.
Deborah [00:41:19]:
For the.
Sirena [00:41:20]:
Work that you do in the world, for coming on and talking about it. You can find my guest@theowniversemonologs.com. She's amazing. A storyteller dancer, breath work, all of these things that are not only important in your everyday life, but let me tell you how well they transfer into your sex life. So, my name is Deborah Kat. You are listening to the Better Sex podcast. Where we have unfiltered conversations to create a better, safer, sexier world. Please go ahead and like and comment and share this podcast.
Sirena [00:42:06]:
If you know a woman who would be supported by telling her story day, please pass this on so that we can all create a safer, sexier, better world. Until next time, take good care. Bye.