Inside the World of a Sex Worker with Lana Sequioa
The key to better sex is to understand ourselves– what makes us feel good and what doesn’t. Women are often not given the chance to rule in bed or they aren’t even asked if they are enjoying the moment.
Communicating and understanding what we want as a woman allows us to live with more connection and pleasurable experience that suffices our desires and erotic fantasies– this is where real empowerment lies. Know that you can speak up for yourself and that maybe you can learn how to be more assertive about your desires and boundaries because we deserve a good sex life after all!
In today’s episode of The Better Sex Podcast, we are joined by Lana Sequoia. Lana has eight and a half years of experience as a sex worker, ranging from tantric massage to companionship. She is a massage therapist and energy worker. She has studied Tantra, she studied somatic therapy for sex, and relationship coaching. And right now she is doing another coaching program in the trauma of trauma-informed work so that she can bring even more healing and love to the planet. So her main, her main clientele is men with the occasional couple.
Join Lana and me as we discuss:
(02:20) How Lana got into the world of Sex Work
(05:48) Understanding Sensual Massage + How Each Session Go
(18:12) Learning Boundaries: Sharing your desires and asking for the desires of others
(24:24) How knowing one’s desires work and how fantasy plays into it
(30:37) Stereotypes and prejudices given to sex workers that are damaging and inaccurate
(38:50) Lana’s experience during the pandemic given that there is no access to in-person clients
(46:10) On Becoming a Conscious Creator
(49:07) Valuing friendship and connection in the sex industry
Connect with Lana
Website: LANA SEQUOIA
OnlyFans: Lana Sequoia ♡ OnlyFans
Email: lanasequoia@protonmail.com
Instagram: Lana Sequoia ♡ (@lana.sequoia) • Instagram photos and videos
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lanasequoia
Slixa: https://www.slixa.com/california/san-jose/lana-sequoia
Connect with Deborah
Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com
For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3
Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/
Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat
In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.
Deborah:
Hello, and welcome to the better sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat and I am your shameless host. This is the better sex podcast where we have unfiltered conversations about sex and relationships. This show is about the many ways that we do and to have sex and relationships. And if you are someone who wants to learn how to have better sex on your terms, you are absolutely in the right place. I really believe that a sexy world creates a happier world and a safer world. If you want to do your part in creating a sexy, safe world. Please hit subscribe, and leave a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcast. And I thank you. Oh my gosh. So today we are going to dive into the world of my guest, Lana Sequoia. She has eight and a half years as a sex worker, ranging from tantric massage to companionship. She is a massage therapist and energy worker. She has studied Tantra, she studied somatic therapy for sex and relationship coaching. And right now she is doing another coaching program in trauma of trauma informed work, so that she can bring even more healing and love to the planet. So her main, her main clientele is men with the occasional couple up. And I just want to add one more piece, which is that I have known of Lada for quite some time, I followed her on many different platforms. And I am absolutely thrilled to have the opportunity to check in to connect and to hear more about your world. So Lana again, thank you so much for being my guest. And I'm curious, like, how did you get here?
Lana:
Oh, first off, it's so so good to be here with you and having this conversation and getting to just reveal a little bit more about this world and the depths of it. Ha so a little bit about how I got here. It was maybe 10 years ago that I was introduced to the world of sex work in the form of sensual massage. And basically I started realizing that I had friends that were in the industry, and I couldn't quite figure out like, at first what do I What are these women doing? Like they seem to have these nice apartments and like, like free schedules, and this is really free energy in their bodies and the way they moved. And it was one night I was at a friend's house and my friend that I came with looked at me and said, Oh, you know what she does, right? And I said, No, what is it? He said, Oh, she does sensual massage. And I had so many mixed feelings about that. I'm like what, like you touch a car, she touches cogs for a living? How could that be? And then at the same time, I felt really pulled to it. And so it was about like a year and a half of peeking my way into the world asking questions to friends, going on my own journey of beginning to study Tantra, and having a really incredible lover that kind of introduced me to the world of that and went to a tantra yoga school in Thailand that we will not name because I had some bad press. But it was a helpful place for me at that time. And luckily nothing bad happened to me. And a year later I asked a friend of mine who was in the industry as she would teach me and within maybe a month she brought me into a double session with her. And after the session I said that's it that that felt so easy and good. And very quickly I dove into the world and you know, put up an ad and got some pictures and started learning the industry and felt very fascinated by it and very quickly felt fascinated by how to keep myself safe in the industry, which I think is a very important part of that world and started to learn how to screen and really run it like a business, right? Because it is it's a, it's a business. And here we are eight and a half years later in a very different place than I was then. But still very much.
Deborah:
Thank you. God, there's so many questions that that that brought up. So first of all, I would love if you'd be willing to just kind of people here what sensual massage is and I am just curious if you could a kind of define that. And then talk a little bit about how your sessions actually go.
Yeah, so sensual massage, it's bringing sensuality and sexuality into a massage experience. So generally, when you go see a massage therapist, they are not going to be running erotic energy through their body, hopefully not. And in a sensual massage experience. That's very much. So the intention, usually done on a massage table, or sometimes a bed and the session can go many ways. I like to ask people what they want. And that means so do you even want an actual massage? Or do you just want to go into having the erotic experience and generally a sensual massage is only done with your hands, so you're not using your mouth or your pussy? It's just hands. And this might sound boring to some people. But there are so many creative ways to go about this with your hands. And oh, so I first check in with people, what are you? What are you here for? What are you looking to experience? How do you like to be touched? Are you looking for an actual massage? Or do you just want to go into the sensual touch, which usually face down is like the, you know, massage parlor and then face up would be the more erotic part. And if someone does want a massage at first, I just always bring my erotic essence to that. So there might be some therapeutic aspect to it because I am trained and have never had a normal massage practice before. But when I started since sensual massage actually started massage school in the same week, because I thought, well, if I'm gonna do this, I want to understand the body more and I had already had an interest in in touch and energy work and learning the body. So I bring those skills into my session. And it's just bringing this essence of eroticism. So that could mean just like a lighter touch somewhere on their body. Or maybe you like graze between their thighs or your your running your hands down their back and then your breast might gently graze against their back and there might be noises right to just kind of start moving that erotic energy. And for me, what I love so much about sensual massage is the build up of it, this anticipation getting to bring in this just palpable erotic energy that you slowly build your way up to. And I also love that there's no sex involved, it kind of takes away this pressure and what I've noticed it really allows people's desires to come out a bit more and especially giving to men who are often in our society in straight relationships. They're asked to like, like be in charge right? And not not at all but in something know that the norm whatever. And this gives them an opportunity to really lay back and relax and just like completely receive and I'm not gonna lie, there's something just so erotic to me about having that control over someone's pleasure.
Deborah:
Oh my god that is like your description of and so I am thrilled that I actually get to watch you as well as hear you because just the way in which I can feel all of that energy running through your body is just so good. And I really appreciate what you were just saying about, you know, having clot having men lay back and receive. And I'm curious like, because that's not usually what you think about with, you know, the stereotype. And I'm also just kind of curious like, so who, who? Who's your usual your typical client? Do you? Do you have a typical client?
Lana:
Hmm? No, excuse me, I would say no, that I don't have a typical client. But I don't think that's true for everyone. I think sometimes, if people have like a, like a specialty, and some sort of regard, mostly maybe in the kink world, or they do something like bond massage, they might have more of a typical client. But I have worked with people ranging from 21 years old, to 85 years old, and all different kinds of people from I had like a guy who has delivered pizzas recently, like that was his job. And then I have like, high level CEOs, those a lot of tech people working, you know, in Silicon Valley. And I get people that are on their, like spiritual path. And it's part of their, like, they're awakening in their process to come and have this kind of experience, or you get like guys who are a bit lonely, and maybe they are married and in a sexless marriage, and that ranges. But a lot of times, I noticed that is people that have been married for a very long time. And when I inquire deeper, like, oh, well, have you talked to your wife about these things often say, Oh, it's just too late, right? Like, there's our relationship just isn't there to talk about those kinds of things, which I have mixed feelings about, but it's also to respecting their process and knowing that it's not everyone's journey to go deeper with their partners in that way. And doing this kind of thing. Seeing someone like myself can supplement the intimacy in their life, and then allow them to go home and be a better partner. And there's a lot of practicing of non judgement and that of, that's their journey to, to have and not mine. And I get guys that come to me for premature ejaculation, or guys who are really inexperienced sexually, they're wanting to learn, and they're just don't know. And so they come into will ask me, like, tons of questions about a woman's body? Or, like, how do you do this? Or how do you do that? Or like, how does it how do you touch a pussy? And yeah, so it's just quite a range of, of people and from different walks of life, and lifestyles, and all different kinds of things. And then you get the sexual adventure, right? Who's just like, I just, I'm having experiences and just out there in the world.
Deborah:
So it sounds like basically, what you're saying is that there's not you're not, you're seeing a range of different kinds of men. And not only that, but they're coming to you for a range of different reasons. And it's, so I'm curious, like, what's it like for you to have somebody walk through the door? And just like, you may or may not feel attraction for them? Or you may or may not? So what's that like for you?
Lana:
Yeah, so definitely, these men are the people that you just see walking down the street right there. They're normal. And what it's like to have someone walk through the door, and with attraction. Well, I'll tell you, I get nervous every time I see a new client. And oftentimes the client is nervous with it's our first time meeting, sometimes they're not, but often they are. And I tell them, I'm nervous to, like, I have screened them thoroughly. Sometimes I talk to them on the phone beforehand, so I know a little bit about them. And so there's always that twinge of like ooh, like who is this going to be? How are they going to be? Are they gonna be shut down and not say much and am I gonna have to really like work to get something out of them or are they going to talk too much and I'm gonna have to like reel in the energy. So it's just preparing myself for like any situation and And then once they're in the door, it's, it's really just a tuning to their energy. I like to give some spaciousness and not just, boom, go right? And like, take a breath, look them in the eyes and say, how are you? How are you feeling? And something that feels important to me is to presents the nervousness, if I can feel it, I'll ask them, Are you nervous? And they might say, Yeah, I am. And I might ask them, Why or what's coming up for you or like, you know, just just something of that sort. And as far as attraction goes, it's not something I worry about, like I don't, I'm not going to send someone out the door, because I'm not attracted to them. It's just not part of the process. For me to feel a full-blown, like, Yes, I need to be completely under this person to have a sexual experience with them. Actually, what I've learned through being a sex worker is that there are people who I would never have thought that I was attracted to, and then I get into a sexual space with them. And I just love their erotic energy, or the way that they touch me, or they, there's something that like, feels so good. So I've learned a lot about what attraction means. And then it's not just physical, but it is energetic. And I can always find like a thread of something with somebody that I'm into. And it's also to that owning of my own erotic energy, that it's not dependent on this other person that like, I get to flow that energy through me, I get to be that energy. Regardless than that, and that's what the gift is of.
Deborah:
Yes. I'm so glad that you brought that up about you know, your own, being able to own and run your own erotic energy and being able to find that thread in, in the person in front of you. Because I really think that that is, you know, that piece is one of the big gifts of, you know, tantra practice, and, you know, being able to actually feel and run your own energy, because it's, it's such a powerful, you know, it's such a powerful energy. And when you have that skill and that gift, it's like, yes, you can use it in the bedroom, and it transfers out throughout your life.
So I know for myself, when I've worked in, you know, with with sensual massage and whatnot, that that has been a big part of the gift as well as, for me learning boundaries. And I'm wondering if you can speak to that at all?
Lana:
Yes, I love this topic. So so much, and how I feel like I, sometimes I've talked to other people in the industry, and when I talk about boundaries, and tell them the way that I go about it, they're like, whoa, like, that's not what I do. Wow, I didn't realize I could quite do it like that. And, and then I sometimes I talk to people that they're like, Yes, me too. And I feel like it's such an important part of the conversation when seeing a sex worker or when you are a sex worker giving sessions because boundaries give us something to play within. And this is how I explain it. When I am having my intro talk with somebody, I never just dive into an intimate experience. There's always a talk beforehand, of how are you doing? How are you feeling? What do you want? What do you desire, and I do this in a very soft, gentle way, right? And boundaries is a part of that conversation. And I start off with telling my boundaries on what my boundaries are and what feels good for me. And the way that I do that is by I'm like, gotta feel this to get into it. I will say what I don't want first, so it might be an essential massage experience. So there's no kissing on my lips. I welcome you to kiss on other parts of my body. Odor invites that end or if there's a session And were there touching my pussy, but I, which is sometimes not a part of an experience. And sometimes it is, depending on who you're seeing, I might say. So no fingers inside, but I welcome you to touch on the outside. And then I'll go into how I like my pussy to be touched. And I'll take their hand, and I'll show them and making eye contact feels really important. And also, at that time, like really pulsating my essential energy through me, so that there's an opening and it feels inviting to, like I'm letting you in. There might be things I'm telling you not to do. But I'm also letting you in at the same time and also giving you a roadmap of what I do like and what feels good for me. Because it's the first time that me and this person are meeting, like, how can we be expected to know what their boundaries are, what they like, what they don't like, and what I've noticed, by speaking my own desire, speaking my own boundaries, it often invites that out and another person. And this is where the unveiling of desires starts to happen. Or they might feel a little nervous at first, but then they go, oh, you know what, I actually really like feet. i Oh, yeah. Tell me more. What do you like to do to feel really had? Oh, I want to see them. During the experience a great now I have a bit of a roadmap of how to make this experience. Really great.
Deborah:
You know, I love that you said that about giving them a roadmap, because I think one of the most unfortunate things around, you know, sexuality is because we don't talk about it, because we're not really, you know, there's not, there's not usually a welcoming place for, you know, specifically women more often than men, but men as well, to say, this is what I like, you know, I like to say that I grew up on harlequin romances, and Harlequin romance was all about the man knows how to touch the woman. And he knows how to touch her better than she knows how to be touched. And so, you know, and I think that's a really unfortunate template that we have, you know, specifically as women where it's like, we don't feel this freedom to say, Ah, this is the way I like it. You know, just one of the ways that that I work with boundaries, in session is I'll be like, you know, I am super authentic about my experience. And I will let you know, when you are on a sweet spot, prepare to stay there. If you're not in a sweet spot, I will help you to get there. And I would love the same from you. And it's so interesting when we give ourselves when we give ourselves permission, but also when we give our partners permission, you know, to ask for what we want to suggest how we want it differently and to not take it personally that we weren't in the right place that they're, you know, to begin with. Because bobby's are so fascinating. It's like what feels amazing on Tuesday, may not feel that great on Thursday, you know, but a little to the left is gonna feel even better. So I just really want to highlight that, you know, knowing your own body and being willing to share what feels good for you is just such an important part of eroticism and making, you know, making the the experience pleasurable. And I love what you were saying about you know, sharing your desires and asking for the desires of others. And how can you say a little bit more about how that works and how fantasy plays into that?
Lana:
Yeah, so I agree with you know, that there's this thing and in our culture and society of like the man always knowing and like taking charge and that way knowing how to touch the woman better than she knows how to touch yourself, which we all know is a load of crap, but it's ingrained into our system and I think that it's impacted women, and it's impacted men of feeling like they have to perform something or that they should just know Oh, and have to kind of keep this stature and, and structure around their sexuality and that it needs to be normal. Like there's a lot of men who just say, Oh, I'm just normal, right? Oh, my desires are just normal. And I'm like, no, no, no, they're you. They're unique to you. And I think, men, there's a lot of men that have had a hard time really uncovering what their truest desires are, and what they really want. And there's also like a fear of their own sexuality that may be it's scary in some sort of way. And so I like to open up the space for them to kind of dig a little deeper in what it is you want, right? And so I might ask them, like questions like, Well, what do you fantasize about? Like, when you self pleasure? Or like, what kind of porn Do you wanna watch? Because that's a really good indicator of like, what your, what your truest desire is? And there's also another question of, how do you like to feel during a sexual experience? And so that can uncover it? And sometimes people just don't know, either? Like, I don't know. And I'm like, great, well, do you want to play? Do you want to explore and see what it is, and something I might do is, after an experience that they didn't know, I'll point out when I noticed that they really liked and they might go, Yeah, you know, that is, that was really good for me. And as far as fantasy, I think that we all have them and some, to some degree or another. And what I know about fantasy is that sometimes we just want those things to live in our head. We don't want to play them out. And that's perfectly okay. Some fantasies are just meant for our own erotic imagination. And then sometimes we do want to play them out. And I like to create a space that allows for that, and have so that it could be something like a role play when someone has a fantasy about that I had a client's whose fantasy was yoga teacher, a yoga teacher. And so we'd play like student teacher, and I love that and we'd switch and he'd come to me with, you know, these these storylines, and I'd get into it turns on him quite a good actress doing that. So it could be, it could be anything. And I've thinking of one client where this felt just I mean, it sounds so simple, but it feels so special, where he revealed to me that he really wanted his ass played with and when he told me he, like, got really shy and said, I've never said this to anyone like, but I really have always wanted this. And so getting to give that gift and that, that space for safe exploration. Knowing that I'm going to respect his boundaries, knowing that I'm here for it, right that I'm not going to shame him or make it wrong. There's like very little, excuse me, that somebody could bring to me, that would shock me, or surprise me. Right? I might not do everything right. As far as things go, but I am always open to hearing and talking about it and discussing. Yeah.
Deborah:
So speaking of fantasies, you know, a lot of where we get our fantasies and our ideas are from, you know, from movies from culture. And I, I'm particularly happy that you know, the movie, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande came out. And it's one of the most interesting portrayals of a sex worker I've seen, partly because it was a younger man with an older woman, which like, how hot is that? Just, you know, they really went into some, some very, it was the most positive of of portrayals I've seen in a long time. And it had a depth to it around, like, who this person was, and why he was doing what he was doing. And, you know, some of the things that you mentioned about, you know, really enjoying the experience of getting to be with people and getting to be with people in this incredibly vulnerable and intimate space. You know, came up. And I'm just curious, I know you and I talked a little bit about about that. But we also talked a little bit about, you know, some of the stereotypes out there that are damaging, and that are inaccurate. And I'm curious if you'd like to share a little bit about that.
Lana:
Yeah, I loved that movie, it was so great to watch. And I love that they did it with an older woman and a male sex worker, because that's not something that's talked about very often, but it is something that very much so exists. Women just tend to go about finding a sex worker, a male sex worker in a different way. With women were online and have ads. And these websites and men are very visuals. So they kind of pick us out right? And the movie was based in England, I believe, which I think it's a little bit different. There were there was some sort of she like booked online and paid with a credit card, which I'm like, that does not happen. Not at all. That overall, I think it was a it was a mostly positive portrayal of, of sex work. And one of my favorite moments in the movie was when she asked him, Well, why are you doing this? And he says, Oh, I'm like, I'm in school or saving up for school. She goes, Oh, really wow. And he goes, No. There's this often it's portrayed in the media, when sex workers are portrayed in the media that in order to be doing sex work, you have to be working toward some other goal, like you have to be in school and paying for that, or you have to be saving up for a house or something big. And it's just not true. There's plenty of sex workers who are career sex workers where they love their job, and they love what they do. And they're not in it to get to some other big goal. And with that, there are plenty of sex workers who are in it to achieve a big goal. But one of the things I've seen, most damaging is, is this idea that being a sex worker is dangerous. And while it is for some people, and there are marginalized sex workers and in street workers, where it is very dangerous, and there can be a lot of violence involved, that's often not the case for a really big group of people like myself who screen really thoroughly and have an online presence. And I just really want to speak on that. I know that not everyone can have that and like has the privilege to have that kind of safety and I very much so recognize my privilege and being able to screen and have higher rates and all of that. But I think it's damaging when the media pretty much only shows that part of it. And I mean, it was even showed a little bit in this movie where with Good Luck Leo, where they have this big explosive fight and in my experience, like I've never had a big explosive fight with the clients and I watched this movie The Escort the other day that's on I believe it's on Hulu was made in 2016 and this woman is the show her very often getting in these like, intense like physical arguments with clients and people being like really nasty to her and she's freestyling which is like going to a place like a bar or something of that sort and picking up clients. And where these men are just like harassing her and like poking at her and and then the end she's like, I'm gonna ruin that ending for you. She she realizes I need to go back to grad school and she falls in love with a guy and she's like saved, right? And this notion that like sex workers need to be saved that they're not empowered and like choosing their job. And they're just like enduring all this physical violence. And I'm watching this thinking like, I have never had an experience like that.
And it's really interesting that the media portrays it as such, and maybe because they're not actually talking to real sex workers, or even the kind of sex worker that they are portraying in their, in their film. And this case in the Escort she was, like, they say, a high class escort. And I'm like, that's just not often happening to high-class escorts where they're getting beat up in their hotel room, sometimes it doesn't happen, and it does. So it's not another situation. But I think it is damaging to the overall view of the industry.
Deborah:
Yeah, and I think it's really damaging, you know, for the clients as well. I think that, you know, the shame of seeing someone, you know, paying someone, for intimacies is very high. And, you know, just as I was listening to you, I'm like, I wonder, you know, is the big fear that like, if this, you know, if this industry if this, if this work is made more, you know, revealed in more of a, an accurate portrayal is it that, like, you know, is the big fear that all of a sudden, you know, they're women will give up marriage and dating, because, you know, because of this industry, and that's not it at all, like, it's, you know, clearly, you are empowered in this work, clearly, you are, you know, you've done a lot of, of your own personal work to get to where you're at, where you are, you know, you've studied, you are studying to be better at what you do. And it's, you know, it seems to be like, not just like a job, but like, actually something that you are dedicating yourself to, and most of the folks that I know, who are in the industry, and as you said, that is not everybody, there are certainly people who are working, you know, survival, sex workers, and what, but what really, what really burns by bridges is that like, somehow it's better to survive in, you know, a job that you hate. That is, you know, that you're, you're supposed to that it's okay to survive and hate your job working at McDonald's, but it's not okay to survive, and maybe not hate your job. Doing sex work, by home. Anyway. I fully agree, I have a point of view here. But I did want so I really appreciate you know, just having, talking about like, you know, pulling off the mask a little bit around what is, you know, who you are and how you're doing the work. I'm curious, during, you know, with the start of the pandemic, not having access to in-person clients, and you know, what your experience was there?
Lana:
Oh, wow, it was a shit show. I'm just as I'm sure it was for many other people even not in this industry. For all of us. It was such a hard time. And I I did what a lot of other in person sex workers did at that time, and I got on only fans and started making content and let me tell you what an experience that was. I could have never imagined just how much effort it would take and I mean, I just could have never imagined 2020 happening, and not having access to seeing people in person like that was just never it was never part of my plan to be an online sex worker. But I felt panicked. I'm like what do I already have the like skills forum platform for Okay, let's try this out. And what I could say is like only fans was so much it So much more work than I thought it was going to be. People often think of it just as Oh, you just post a sexy picture, and then you get paid. No, that is not it at all. First off, you're fully your own brand. It is online. So you get, you have to have social media platforms. Because only fans does not have its own internal marketing systems such as like Instagram, where there's a feed of some sort, it's not like that, you have to pull your clients from Twitter, from Instagram, from Reddit, from some people they do, Cam shows pulling them in through that. So you're often dealing with at least two to like five, sometimes six, like different platforms that you're pulling in your fans from, then you have to keep up with it right. And you have to engage these people, you have to get creative about what kind of content you're going to post. You have to network and market with other creators and create relationships with those people. So that they'll shout you out. And you'll shout them out and you'll repost their Instagram stuff. And so, at one point, I was a part of like, maybe 20 Different telegram groups, talking to people constantly in marketing and networking, and doing shout outs and growing my Twitter and my Instagram. And honestly, 2020 was such a difficult year for so many reasons. But I was working more than I ever had in my life. Sometimes I was having 16 hour days, between my phone and my computer and just setting everything up and editing things and then setting up scenes to shoot content and and talking to fans and 16 and selling things. And it's a hustle, it is a hustle. And I have just so much respect for the people who do it full time, and really put their heart and souls into it. And of course, there's way to do that job, which there's a lot of porn actresses like big time porn actresses, they actually don't run their own onlyfans accounts, they'll have five or six different people running their accounts for them, which is a whole nother ballgame of having a team of people work for you. But when you're doing it by yourself, you're doing like five different jobs in one. Wow, still needing to be sexy on the internet. And for me that burnt me out about I would say, like a year. And I was just very, very burnt out and I started it started just tapering off because then I was seeing more in person clients and that business was really booming. So I saw less of a need to put my attention on that. And I just realized that it wasn't for me like, because it didn't, it wasn't for me to do full time, I still have one.
And I put do post on there sometimes, but it wasn't for me to do full time because I just didn't have the bandwidth and the capacity that it takes to really be successful on there. And there's something that feels really shitty, when you're putting so much effort I'll speak for me when I was putting so much effort into this platform, and really not making that much money compared to how much work I was putting in. And doing the math being like, I'm only getting paid like $5 an hour to do this. Like, maybe this isn't the thing for me to put my attention on. But with that I am so, so grateful that that was available during the pandemic that that income was there that that creative expression was there I learned all about photo editing and video editing. And while it was one of the like busiest times of my life and like stressful in a lot of ways pandemic new job online constantly. It was also one of the most creative times that I've ever had in my life getting to make these videos I'm getting to make people's fantasies come true in other ways by doing these custom videos and people giving me elaborate scenes to play out and get paid to play with that so yeah, I spent a lot of the pandemic and my room touching my self.
Deborah:
Its fascinating because you know, I got to watch, I get to see a lot of your content on Twitter and other places. And, you know, it's so if so for me, it was just too edgy. Like, I was not like that was that was my edge for sure. And so wasn't around, I followed, but I was just fascinated. And, you know, kind of in awe of some of the women and there was a couple that I followed. That was really fun. And what I found really interesting was how much educational stuff was coming out of, of only fans. And what I mean by that is that there is there are a couple people that I would see who started talking more about, like, well, what makes good sex and what makes great relationships and you know, kind of really filling in those blanks in a way that I hadn't expected.
Lana:
Yeah, yeah, that's why we call a conscious creator. And in the only fans world and I definitely got very connected in that realm of people and was very grateful to see where people were riding that edge between eroticism and education between like the sexuality, and the being a real human and like these women who are bringing this other essence to the table, like it's not just porn, like they're bringing their like heart and soul into it. They're bringing in that like this fuller spectrum of who they are as like a spiritual being as an educator. And I found that really fascinating to find I had never really seen conscious content in that way I was have been aware of Erica Lust's work, who does erotic films for women and but I think in the wake of the pandemic, it really, there was this burst of this conscious creator coming online and in this whole different way through the only fans platform that is now still continuing to ripple. And I, I brought in some of the education aspect to to my page and just more of that like grounded authentic content. That was of course you're in front of a camera, there's a sense you're performing, but like how can I perform from a very authentic place within myself where it's not? Like there's something that you can feel the energy is palpable, that it's like me in my pleasure, and me in my true erotic essence, and like, how do you capture that through the camera, which is such a skill, it's such a skill. And I just want to shout out one of my favorite creators, Zeta BB, Zeta and then letter B and letter B. She is just incredible at doing this, and I just became fascinated with her. During 2020, I was following her work and really derived a lot of inspiration from it. And then I was lucky enough to meet her in June of 2021. And make content with her and create a friendship out of it. And we're still friends and she's just an incredible human doing really great, unique work, like, on top of all that she's just also like an incredible filmmaker, and it's just so fascinating to watch.
Deborah:
Yeah, I really love that you bring up a female friendship, because I have to say that, you know, in my experience, the women that I've really connected with over the years oftentimes are women that I met in some form or the other of the business, you know, whether it was like somebody that we shared a lot of clients so I was sharing references with or, you know, from time to time somebody would say, Hey, I've got a double would you like to come and join me and just there's something about the women who are willing to share themselves in this way are willing to find themselves in this way that just excites me in and make for really have I've had really deep experiences with Which isn't to say I haven't had my moments of scrolling through and feeling jealous and feeling triggered and feeling like, she's got.. But, you know, I think for me really part of my healing journey around other women was through the experience of sex work.
Lana:
Yeah, I think friendship. Having other friends in the industry, while you're in the industry is, for me, it's crucial. It's crucial to be able to talk to another person that gets it can give advice that understands, just like all the little nuances of everything, and where your past might be different of like, how you got into the industry, and maybe even different and what kind of work or clientele you have, but that there's just an overarching feeling of connection. And like, yeah, and it is easy to get jealous if you scroll through Twitter and get in that mindset. And you see that on sex work Twitter all the time where people are fighting and getting catty with one another. And I personally have no interest in, in arguing with people in that way. And I really value the friendships that I have with other people in the industry. And of course, just throughout the years being in it so long, I've had a lot of friends that have left the industry. But I still consider them like sex work friends, because they get it they've been there, they've like they've done it and you know, as much good as there can be there can also just be it can be draining right and and like just to have someone else to like, like I had this client and like, now my energy is just gone. And I know that you get it and just to be able to support.
Deborah:
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I am so thrilled with this conversation and getting to connect with you. And I'm curious, like, if there's one thing that you really want people to get out of our conversation, what might that be?
Lana:
Just that just a broader view, on what sex work is, who sex workers are, who the clients are, and that it's just like, We're normal people, but that we're normal people that the clients are that I am. And also just speaking your desires more, if anything of sex work is so unrelated to your life, but that maybe you can extract just how to speak up for yourself more as in regards to your desires and boundaries and, and all of that.
Deborah:
So how can people find you? Where do we connect with you?
Lana:
Well, you can go to my website, which is lanasequoia.com. And it's Sequoia, like the tree. And I have a Twitter. So that's at lanasequoia, Instagram, @lanasequoia. And then I'm also on only fans, which is also alanasequoia, but you can also get to it fast by just going to morelana.com. And you can find me and my content there. I do not post a lot anymore, but there are in the 1000s of posts on this. There's a lot of times and to look at a lot of stuff for sale. So I tune into there maybe like once or twice a week.
Deborah:
Beautiful. And again, everything will be in the show notes. So want to this has been an amazing conversation. I appreciate your the depth and the willingness you have to share and to let us into your life into a very private part of the world. And it's been a really beautiful conversation. And when that I imagine can lead to better sex.
Lana:
Yes, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me. It was really good to talk. My pleasure.
Deborah:
And so for those of you who I listening, you have been listening to the better sex podcast. I am your host Deborah Kat. I am so grateful that you tune in with us today and every every episode I hope and to get more episodes please subscribe, like and leave a comment at Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Have a great rest of your day. And thank you for listening..