The Power to Create the Intimate Life You Desire with Andre Lazarus
You know that feeling when you're out in the world, and you feel safe? You know what I mean, right? It's that feeling that lets you breathe a little easier, and allows you to be yourself and do whatever you want—the ones that make you feel like there's no way out.
And it's also that same feeling when you're in bed with your partner and do the intense moments the way you desire. We all want this kind of safety and power in our lives. But how often do we get it? How often do we ever feel truly safe?
In today’s episode of The Better Sex Podcast, we are joined by Andre Lazarus. Andre is a Certified Intimacy, Sex, and Relationship Guide, Trained Surrogate Partner, as well as Sacred Intimate with 8+ years of experience helping individuals and couples discover their intimate and erotic power. As a multisexual being experienced in Consensual Non-Monogamous dynamics, Andre’s unique approach to sexuality, sensuality and the bond people share make him a thought leader and knowledgeable practitioner. Andre is a Certified Sex and Relationship Coach through the Somatica Institute based out of San Francisco, CA, and specializes in erotic desire, sexless relationships, sexual trauma healing, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, BDSM, consensual non-monogamy, and more.
Tune in to this episode as Andre unravels how to move forward from trauma so that you can get to your desires and that safe place as well! We'll be talking about what it takes to create a safe space for yourself during these intimate moments—and how to get them without having to sacrifice who YOU are.
Join Andre and me as we discuss:
(03:55) Andre’s Story
(10:24) How Andre developed a level of attunement in his own being
(14:21) The idea of older women going after what they want
(16:09) What do female clients come to Andre for?
(23:20) Allowing ourselves to follow our desires
(24:49) Realizing the power that we hold on intense and intimate moments
(31:49) Andre’s traumatic experiences + Becoming trauma-informed
(37:09) How does taking people into the place where the trauma occurred and recreating it help them towards healing?
(41:20) What is Andre working on these days?
Connect with Andre
Website: Coming Closer with Andre Lazarus
Instagram: Coming Closer with Andre (@comingcloserwithandre) • Instagram photos and videos
Connect with Deborah
Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com
For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3
Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/
Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat
In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.
Unknown Speaker 1:01
Welcome to the better sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat, and I am your shameless host. This is the better sex podcast where we have unfiltered conversations about sex and relationship. This show is about the many different ways that we do and have sex and relationships. It's for people who want to learn the skills and the nuances to have better sex on their terms. I truly believe that a sexier world creates a happier world and a happier world is a safer world. So if you want to do your part, to help create a safer world, please hit subscribe, leave a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thank you so much. Today, I am so excited to dive into Andres world. So Andre is intimacy, sex and relationship guide, as well as a sacred intimate with eight plus years of experience helping individuals and couples discover their intimate and erotic power as the multi sexual being experienced in consensual non monogamy, non monogamous dynamics, Andre is unique approach to sexuality, sensuality and the bond. People share make him a thought leader and a knowledgeable practitioner. He's certified. He's a certified sex and relationship coach through the somatic Institute, based out of San Francisco, and so much more. I just want to say on a very personal note, what a pleasure it is to spend time with him. He has got exquisite attention, and just a really lovely, lovely person to be spending time with. So Andre, thank you so much for joining me.
Unknown Speaker 3:18
Thank you, Deborah. And wow, and what an intro. Just everything, even even the way that you talked about sex in the world and you know, making the world a safer place through happiness and finding sexual experiences that really call to each individual. Thank you for all you do. And for that lovely intro.
Unknown Speaker 3:39
Oh, my pleasure. So I am so curious. I know you had quite an adventure to get where you are today. So tell us tell me your story. How did you get here?
Unknown Speaker 3:55
Yeah. So how much time do you have now? My story is, you know, quite unique. And while we all have our unique stories, I think my origin to where I'm standing today is very interesting. So I actually, I used to be in the military. I was a Marine Corps officer. And so I say that because a lot of people when they come to me or when I have clients who who want to know a little bit more about me, they imagine a different being, you know, sitting before them, someone that wasn't in a government militaristic establishment for many years. So through through my, you know, my own self education and my own curiosity around sexual desire and trauma healing during sexual healing, while I was in the military, I really started to like come into my own when it came to how sex played a role in my life. And it wasn't just this added, like fun thing that you do every now and then it was really steeped in really who I was like, it was a it was part of who I am. And it kind of catapulted me into the place that I am today, after, you know, many years of my own self tutelage, as well, as, as you mentioned, being you know, certified through this America Institute. I'm constantly learning about this world of, of sexuality, of intimacy, of, you know, finding truth in our own power. And it's really just been one hell of a ride. And I can't, I can't say enough about how just privileged I am to be able to be here, even speaking with you about these subjects, where, who knows, even 510 years ago, talks of consensual non monogamy, and men who had emotions was very taboo. So I feel I feel very privileged to be here with you.
Unknown Speaker 6:23
Thank you. So I, I love that you started with the military because one of the things that I saw on your website was, in your work with men, you talk about the fact that you were in the military, and you like to have pedicures, and paint your nails, that you are, you know, very much steeped in your masculine. And you have emotions. It's just like, it's funny, as, even as I talk, I get goosebumps, because I feel like that is something that so many men don't allow themselves to have, like, a, you know, I do a lot of work with men. And the thing that is I'm always touched by is how small you the box is for masculinity.
Unknown Speaker 7:24
Oh, yeah, totally. And I feel it's, it's something that while still surprising to me, you know, in this day and age as we have more access to information, and more and more people are feeling comfortable. Talking about emotions, talking about vulnerability, talking about sex. We often I think, forget that. We there's a lot of social conditioning that happens with with all sexes, and those, you know, who are non binary and who choose to identify in this certain way, that when talking about men, we're raised to not feel we're raised to not cry, we're raised to be the rock, the pillar that never falters, that never fails, no matter how much pain you might be holding in, you hold it in, and you suppress and suppress. Until one day, you know, it's like a powder keg, you just can't control you know, hold it in anymore. So I don't, I don't feel we talk enough about and it's same can be said for women and their social upbringing. But when talking about men, I don't believe we talk enough about how much it's just baked into how we're raised. And while it doesn't hold a candle, or it shouldn't be an excuse to not have men approaching these subjects and looking at their vulnerability. And you mentioned my steeped in my masculine. I've also danced with my feminine as well, that we need to have more conversations about why and how it's okay for men to be vulnerable and be a feeling being because until then, we're just going to be constantly like finding ways of why we shouldn't.
Unknown Speaker 9:25
Thank you for that. Yeah, I as I'm hearing you talk, one of the pieces that I really appreciate about both your your story and what I know of you is that you have developed a level of attunement or for those who are not familiar with that word, being able to connect with somebody where they're at. And I'm curious if you could talk a little bit about about that and and how you develop that in your in your own being?
Unknown Speaker 10:04
Yeah, so that's a really, really great question. I think first, it kind of comes from a internal just love and desire and curiosity for people. And I can't take all the credit for that because I was raised in a loving household. While there were challenges, and I'm a product of a divorce family, my parents loved me, they kissed me. We nudity was not something to be ashamed of, we talked about, you know, sex at a very early age. So I feel like I had, when I say privilege, I had the privilege of being able to like come into the world in a place held in love. And, you know, being allowed to really be myself. And that taught me a lot of lessons around how to see my emotions and see my own vulnerability. And that I think catapulted me into a place where I really just became this empathic being, whether it was something I was born with, or something I developed. But being an empath really allows me the ability to feel one's energy, and not just one person, but many, if I'm in a room, I can feel the energy of multiple beings. And, you know, when it comes to boundaries, that's something that I've definitely had to work on heavily of, you know, not allowing someone else's energy, whether that be positive or more challenging to affect my own. But that really has given me the ability to really attune to people to when I see or hear them, going through something, even if it's a beautiful emotion, like, I feel I take some of that on. And it's really allowed me to be really good at what I do. I think, you know, there's, there's a beautiful exchange that happens when, as a practitioner, I can sit with a client and really feel what they're feeling or be turned on when they're turned on or feel the sadness that they're feeling. So I feel any, like most people can learn to tune and become better at it. And I believe there's also a part of it, that's just part of one's being and just a trait that you're born with.
Unknown Speaker 12:52
So trait that you're born with in something you can maybe turn the volume up on. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So um, before we had a live mic, we were talking a little bit about the movie. Good luck to you, Leo Grande, which, for those of you who have not seen it, I highly recommend it. For those of you who have seen it, yay. And not to give too much of a spoiler about it. But what it's about is, it's about a young man, a young, very handsome man and an older woman, and the older woman hasn't had an orgasm ever in her life. And she's in her 50s, I believe. And then she hires this young man to, to essentially help her discover her, her turn on and her her sexuality. And I love that there's so many narratives that that kind of turns on its head. One of them being, you know, the idea that women want women going after older women going after what they want.
Unknown Speaker 14:21
Yeah, and one thing I want to also mention that and I'm going to try not to say anything that we give the movie away, so I'm taking a second okay, got it. So it's beyond just not having an orgasm. It's her not really receiving pleasure from from her, her husband in their 30 plus year relationship. So while you know, while the fact that she hasn't had an orgasm before is, you know, part of her story. I feel the bigger part of the story is she just has not had had the ability to really discover pleasure? Or feel safe to try to discover that with, with her husband? And yeah, it's an amazing movie. If you have not seen it, it's on Hulu. So highly recommend either signing up for Hulu just for the movie or, or finding a friend that has one.
Unknown Speaker 15:22
Yeah. So what I, what part of what really inspired the conversation for me is, you know, you are one of the few male practitioners that I know that really works with women in this way. And I just wanted to get kind of a, I don't know if a peek into your world was exactly it, or words of wisdom or maybe both. So I'm curious if you can talk a little bit about what, what it's like to what are some of the things that that that specifically female clients come to you female identified clients come to you for? Yeah, and you work with that.
Unknown Speaker 16:09
So one thing is that I found interesting about this movie is I didn't know it existed. The reason I found out about it was I had a client, previous client messaged me to let me know about this movie. And they said, I just saw this movie. And I thought of you the entire time. Thank you for what you do. And I was like, Oh, that's interesting. I did not know that. Hulu was putting out movies like this. So yeah, that's how I found out about the movie. And to answer your question around, like, kind of like, what? So I primarily work with women, I also work with couples. I'm open to working with men as well. And when and if that ever becomes an opportunity, but yeah, in in the work that I do with women, and I guess, you know, the clients that come to me, it's really, it's, it's a wide range. Deborah, it's really wide, because we all have a past and we all have things that we want to learn more about, or have not had the opportunity opportunity to learn about. And when I saw this movie and saw the male character, doing similar work to that would I do it really, I think it opened up a whole new way of seeing myself and how I, how I hold space. So some clients might come to me who have had traumatic experiences from their past, and they want to know when that there is a safe way to be able to experience pleasure in the world. It could be someone who, similar to the character in the movie who's never had an orgasm or been able to explore different forms of pleasure because they either have not had a partner or the partner that they had was not willing to provide their you know, the their partners, you know, pleasure or open to curiosity in their partner's pleasure. And then also individuals who have some shame, whether it comes from religion, or upbringing, or social just norms, that they have shame around a desire or that they've wanted to like really peek behind the curtain on and I help to guide them through an experience where they really get to see this thing that they've been very interested in. And it's I feel just even talking about this right now I feel a wave of motion coming over me. Because to be trusted in this space with people who might not have ever had that type of trust in their life or felt safe to like explore or ask these questions, to have them come to me and when working with me after they've after we've had a session or multiple sessions and hearing the impact that their life has had, because of the work that we did together. Is there no words it's just it's it's beyond me and I say we together because there's nothing that I do as As the practitioner as the sacred, intimate, that is the shift that these these individuals are experiencing. It's the guide, the guidance that I go through with them. And they ultimately are the ones that discover this in their own healing in their own pleasure in their own power. So yeah, I feel very, very fortunate to do the work that I do.
Unknown Speaker 20:27
So it sounds like when you say that what you're helping them to create, then is there a safe space to be able to explore? And to have accurate reflection in a way that they may not have had it in the past? Or are a reflection from someone who is a more neutral, nuanced experience? Would you say that's accurate?
Unknown Speaker 20:56
Yeah. And I, I liked the way you put that. And I, I feel that there's a there's a big world out there of possibility and safety. You You mentioned it in your intro, you mentioned it as you were describing the work. Safety is so important for people to be able to really open themselves up to going into some possibly some uncomfortable, fearful spaces. And when we feel safe, we can actually really open ourselves up and surrender. I use that word often with my, with my clients in this work. And I often hear them say that they just want to like let go and just succumb and surrender and not like, have that moment of, oh, this is too much, or I'm not sure I can do this anymore. When we can feel really safe in conversation in intimate moments out in the world, we can let down some of these walls, some of these, these guardrails that we've put up to really just allow ourselves to feel everything. And when I say feel everything, I haven't had a session with a client where someone didn't feel some form of tough emotion, whether it be fear, or, or sadness. I think everyone has cried. And I feel like I've cried in almost every experience as well. So yeah, safety is such a huge part of it. So yeah, that's very accurate with what you describe.
Unknown Speaker 22:42
No, and, and I think one of the things about coming to, you know, going to a professional is that there is
Unknown Speaker 22:53
a way in which there is a safety in not necessarily like, this may be the first and only time we see each other so I can be everything. I can be everything in this little you know, in this time period. And I don't have to filter because I don't have to worry about the you know who, what, you may think of me when I see you in the morning, if you will.
Unknown Speaker 23:21
Yeah, yeah, that's a very good point.
Unknown Speaker 23:23
You know, and I know for myself, as somebody who's definitely been a client, as well, as, you know, being a provider, that there is something really beautiful about allowing, allowing myself to have that. To have that. It's like, it's like there's this thing, you know, of that there's that place where it's like, we don't allow ourselves to have and so it's just a really it's kind of an intense experience when you allow yourself to have the to follow your desire.
Unknown Speaker 24:10
Yeah, intense is a great way of putting in
Unknown Speaker 24:13
and especially if it's, you know, something like you know, I've been a client for central massage and to have somebody's attention on me and my pleasure and not have to give back and know that it's all about me it's like it's it's this it's the thing of like being sent being a little selfish and also like, just the delight and having
Unknown Speaker 24:49
Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie as you're just talking about that I was getting turned on so there's, there's something really amazing When we go into these intense moments, and realize, when we remove, like the filter, the filter of like the world, of all of the social conditioning, all of the access to information that we receive, and trying to filter through the mess of that, which can, you know, can be loud, it can be noisy, but when we are able to, in these intense moments, realize how much power we have, how much we can actually ask for what we want, and receive it, how much we can say, I want all of this pleasure on my body, in my soul in my being and not have to worry about you as the other individual, receiving, you know, some form of like, pleasure as a transactional like means, we, when we feel that power, it's almost as if we're ascending, it's almost as if we've, we're, it's the sum, I've had someone describe it to be the closest that they felt to like being God like, and that was a powerful statement for me to hear, because I have my own my own edges and my own triggers and activation around like religion. But when I heard them say that and to see them now out in the world, doing amazing things able to like, ask for the things they want dating, when they were unsure if they could feeling in their body when they thought that they had no feeling whatsoever, is just such a such an extraordinary way of really tapping into ourselves.
Unknown Speaker 26:49
I really, I just want to come back to that piece around, like, you know, the idea of, so for me, I'm more like I, on the one side hearing godlike is like, ooh, that's sexy. But, you know, the truth is, is that we can, you know, there are these really expanded places. And there are, you know, when I think of that, when I hear that what I'm thinking of is like, how big a container can you hold for this person? It's like, you know, it, almost have this, this image of the painting of God and, you know, reaching out his finger, I think it's too deep to Adam must be to Adam. But like that spark of a big possibility. It's like, you know, you, you, you kind of hold the container and give the spark and then the client gets to expand and grow and do what they do.
Unknown Speaker 27:56
Yeah, I think that you put that beautifully, and then a huge responsibility that I have in these, in these sessions that I hold our that container, the safety of that container, and being prepared and ready for anything to come up. You know, there's a lot of intake that happens prior to we either in person or virtually, there's a questionnaire that I have clients fill out, and I do this so that I, I have a better understanding of where this individual currently is and where they might go. And there's a lot of responsibility in that in holding that container. Because someone might feel that they'll come into an experience and just want to surrender and they're just going to have the most grand glorious, like explosive experience. And then all of a sudden, they realize, oh, wow, this event that happened in my past that has shaped my the way that I view people and is still very traumatic in my life can sometimes come up and as like you said, as the professional in this experience, I have to be there prepared for anything that might that might unfold. So you really is about I'll keep saying it, the safety, the safety of that individual being able to just explode if they want to, and be able to cry, be able to yell be able to, to laugh until they their belly hurts. And when they're able to do that when that container is held in a in a safe and beautiful way. That's when I'll say again, like they become godlike and now they're able to integrate. I think that's something I want to make sure i i call out which is it's not just about the experience in that moment. It's How do these individuals take what unfolded during this experience and integrate it back into their lives so that they can find ways of revisiting the experience or even recreating it with themselves with other partners with, you know, the people that they surround themselves with in their community. So a big part of that container is also holding space and, and guiding them through the integration process afterwards. It's not just oh, you're in this session with me. All right, we've, we've had this good luck to you. It's alright, we've had this session, how can we find ways of you finding the power to recreate this again?
Unknown Speaker 30:51
Oh, I love that. And I, you know, I, I may have misheard earlier, because I heard you say that they become, you know, creators of their own experience, and they get to take that out into their own lives into their own worlds. Which, you know, it's such a great point. And so important, you know, that, that as they integrate that there, you know, as you said, the value is, is yes, in the expansion, but it's also, can you digest it, can you integrate it, can you take it into your daily life. And, you know, you were talking a little bit about trauma earlier, and I know that you are trauma informed. And that trauma is actually part of your story. And I'm wondering if you'd be willing to share a little bit of that?
Unknown Speaker 31:49
Yeah, no, I would, I would be happy to. And I say that. And I mean, that when I said, be happy to that wasn't always the case. That took many, many years, decades of healing, in order to speak about my trauma in a way that I felt empowered, and not something that I was hiding from the world. So yes, I would be happy to so yeah, my, my first sexual experience, you know, in, in my life as a as a being was traumatic, I was raped, and I was my power was taken away from me. And I was young, I was I was in my late teens, early 20s. And there was a big part of me that was mad at the world, the entire world, but I focused a lot of my attention about being mad at my perpetrator, and, you know, the, the sexuality or the gender that, you know, they were part of, which was women. And, through that, I really, I found ways to cope, that were not the healthiest. I definitely look back and I have shame around the way that I treated, I treated the people that were interested in me and who I was having intimate experiences with. I basically I it was me taking my power back. And I looked back and I even I wrote a I wrote a pretty long post on for social media, as well as turned it into a blog, where I basically apologized to all of the individuals who I had experiences with if, for some reason, they felt like the experience was anything less than something where they felt safe. So I believe that while it was a traumatic experience, and something that took many years to cope with, I feel I am even better at the work that I do because I came from a place of, of hurt of pain of trauma, and was able to use that as a way to find healing. And it's I think it's like any any practitioner or any profession. You don't want to just have someone holding a space because they've you know, gone to school and they've read about it and here they are sitting across from you like trying to attune or or relate with you. It helps when you know that the individual who you're going to for whatever service that you're seeking, has had that experience and been able to see both the light and the dark of it. So that's why being trauma informed is one of the things that I, I find to be the I think it's something that is a way that I'm able to really be be a safe space for individuals who are going into this work with me, and who have also experienced forms of trauma, because they know that I've been there, in my own capacity. Like I mentioned before, every, every situation is unique. And I never try to take that away from an individual. But the fact that I've had my own really puts me in a place where I can really attune and understand what someone might be going through and how to take them into a space where, you know, there's healing, healing moving forward.
Unknown Speaker 35:55
Thank you for sharing that. It's not often that you hear men admit to being raped. And it's not often that you, you know that the perpetrator is female. And I just so appreciate the willingness to be as transparent as you are. And I'm kind of curious about. So what I understand trauma to be, is, if you have a loop, it's like, it's the place where the loop doesn't quite connect. Or it's like, where the it's the unfinished part of the loop. And so it seems like, hearing you talk, what you're supporting people in, like, maybe they had the experience, it was disempowering. And so bringing that loop around, so that they have the experience, but it's more within their control more within their power. Would you say that's accurate?
Unknown Speaker 37:09
Yeah, um, I would say that you that there's elements of what you what you share that are, I feel there's, it's really different, depending on the individual, and what we're, what we're exploring together, what we're, you know, what we might be going into, so some individuals might want to, and I might take them into the place where the trauma occurred, and recreate that, and in that there's healing, when they see now in the experience with me that they can take that control back or have their voice or be able to be powerful, you know, once again, and then there's, you know, experiences where we don't actually like, go to where that trauma occurred. But we will be in a space that is similar to that traumatic experience, and showing how there's ways of coping when they're out in the world and having these intimate moments with their loved ones or with future partners. And they're able to create a safe container for themselves or hold boundaries when those boundaries are starting to get pushed. So it's a what you what you shared is accurate. But there's also I wanted to make sure that I, I was clear that there's lots of different ways that trauma can show up. And there's lots of different ways that you can go into a experience with a skill practice practitioner, and I say skilled practitioner, because it's very important because not every person who does this work is going to, at least in my opinion, and just from the experience that I've had with clients who have gone to others will not always be showing up for the client. A lot of times there's a lot of ego and there's a lot of self desire that that a practitioner might bring in. And just like not every doctor or every police officer is going to be great at their job. The same can be for any form of life, relationship, sex, intimacy coach. So it's really important that you as you know, talking to listeners who are interested in this work, that you take stock and know that there's a lot of options out there and it's important to feel really connected and safe with the With the practitioner that you're sitting with, so I know I went off a little bit of a tangent, but I made sure that made sense.
Unknown Speaker 40:09
Yeah, no, absolutely, I first of all, thank you for that. So in terms of just backing up a moment, you know, talking about the different the, the different kinds and flavors that trauma might have, and how you work with it is really, I appreciate that. And then just really, for the, for the listeners, for people who are considering working with someone, I think it's really an important distinction to have people really check in to feeling, you know, doing their homework as to like, who this person is, and what kind of results they might have gotten. And then, you know, there's, there's all this stuff, they might look great on paper. But then as you mentioned, it's like, Does this person feel right? Is this person the right person for me? Yeah. So, um, and then I'm really curious, what, what are you working on these days? How are you working these days?
Unknown Speaker 41:21
Yeah, well, I, I'm still doing this work. My sacred, intimate work, and I, I have a website, I have people who will book time with me, and we'll, you know, we'll do discovery calls to chat more about what's coming up for them, and how, how I might be able to partner with them, again, the work is together, it's not just me, there's, there's work that we do together. And I'm still I'm still very much like, interested in finding ways to help people, you know, help people in whatever facet that might be coming up for them. So people can find me on the website that I've got. And then if there's questions that they have, we can talk about them and, and go from there.
Unknown Speaker 42:24
Beautiful. And we'll put that all in the show notes. I do know that you have been working on ethical non monogamy, and have a program that you just launched is that
Unknown Speaker 42:42
yeah, yes. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah. So my partner and I, we've been in an open relationship for a little over eight years, and through our own relationship, through our own education, through the connections that we've made all around the world. We've we've developed this, I'm really proud of it this really beautiful course, on how to navigate, consensual, non monogamous, open relationships, the course is called open to more. And it's really the brainchild of both of us and similar to the sacred, intimate work I do, which I kind of came into because I was having experiences with people and they were telling me how impactful it was and that I should do this for a living. The same for this course we were connecting with people and they were learning so much by the relationship that Susanna my partner, and I had and have and share. And that's because we in this course we go into the tough conversations, we go into the tough moments. It's not, it's not all about like, oh, you follow these steps, and you're gonna have a successful relationship. It's, you can follow all of these steps, and you still will run into roadblocks. And so we really dive deep into some tough subjects. And but we've received a lot of really positive feedback around the course, and highly recommend it for anyone, even if you've had 20 years of experience and open relationships. There's something that you can learn because I'm constantly a work in progress and I'm constantly learning so yeah, definitely, definitely sign up for that course. If you're if you're interested in consensual non monogamy. I love that.
Unknown Speaker 44:44
You can do everything right. It's still stuff gives up. Oh, yeah. So good. And so you know, our conversation has gone in all sorts of awesome places. And I just if you were to say to somebody who's listening, if you if they just tuned in and you wanted to make sure that they got one thing out of this conversation, what might that be
Unknown Speaker 45:16
that you have a voice and you are powerful. And you can curate and create the intimate life that you desire. That doesn't take it doesn't take another person to give that to you, that you can be the one to store that ship. So I'd say in those moments of feeling like you're you're feeling lost or feeling stuck, that you really do have all the tools necessary to be able to create the intimate life that you want. And when you run into roadblocks, there are professionals out there, like myself, like Deborah who can help guide you on a path for you to continue. Continue down it.
Unknown Speaker 46:14
Beautiful, thank you so much for your time. I am always delighted to talk to you and to learn more about this incredible work and this incredible man and his partner, please check the show notes below. And again, thank you so much for taking the time to slow down and invest some time and energy in learning how to be a better lover. So if you liked the show, please like subscribe, comment on Apple, Apple podcasts and or share with a friend who this information might support. And on that note, I just want to say thank you so much. This is Deborah Kat of the better sex podcast.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai